


Adult World Plans To Understand

by jdphobe



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Trauma, idk man i wrote this in freshman year just take it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-04-20 21:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 49,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdphobe/pseuds/jdphobe
Summary: Hibiya Amamiya is deeply in love with Hiyori Asahina. As it turns out, Hiyori's greatest fear is this exact possibility. In between unrequited love, unsolved trauma they don't even seem to REMEMBER, and the weight of adulthood approaching on their shoulders... Can they ever return their friendship to what it was when they were kids? Because viscerally gorey nightmares, a dwindling summer, and a gang of weird as hell strangers are a lot more complicated than splashing in the mud.





	1. I'm Just A Kid, And Life Is A Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Bajesus I wrote this over two years ago now. At this point I can't bring myself to edit or rewrite it, but I feel terrible leaving something of its length alone in my Google docs. Please just take it, and enjoy something that I put so much heart into all those years ago. It's far from my best work, and I've improved a lot. But it meant a lot to me, and still kinda does. So enjoy this weird story of friendship, cats, and uncomfortable trauma in little kids.
> 
> It's already fully written, but I'll update it once a week. To, you know... Keep you kiddos on the edge of your seat. Also I'm not even gonna disguise I'm just gonna name all these chapters after lyrics from songs I listened to while making the story. I'll be transparent with you about everything. FGDHSJKGDHSJK. So uh. Enjoy the shortest chapter in a fic that hit 50 fuckin thousand words.

Hibiya Amamiya hated cats.

He hated the way their eyes shimmered with some kind of foreign, smug intelligence. He hated the way that nothing bothered them. He hated the way they’d just casually sit and groom themselves, even throughout the most terrible of disasters. He hated their pretentious attitudes. He hated everything about them.

But most of all he hated the way they always seemed to lead him to trouble.

The smell of blood tainted the air yet again, polluting the street in that reeking, yet familiar, sense of ominousness. His chest tightened. His eyes watered. His heart was pounding. He could hardly breathe. 

There she, the love of his life, lay lifeless on that city street; Her limp body tossed aside like a ragdoll.  Blood clumped to her hair, alongside those dead and blank eyes. Bloody tire tracks tarnished the street. He let out a choked cry, trying to gasp for air as he took in what had just happened. He stumbled towards her body, desperate to cradle it. Though, he stopped in his tracks, as he felt its gaze on him. It’s black fur was tainted by crimson as it stepped into a puddle of her gore. It did not seem bothered. Instead it placed itself on top of her frail figure, stretching and making itself comfortable. It never once took its eyes off of him. It knew. It knew everything. It always did. 

**_“What you see is exactly what you’re gonna get.”_ **

 

* * *

****

Hibiya jolted awake, his tiny body trembling as if it had been dunked into a cold bucket of ice. He breathed unsteadily, taking in deep breaths, then quick ones, then seeming to forget to breathe at all. His brown hair was a mess, a result of his panicked rolling around in bed. And his eyes were wide open and horrified, just like _ hers _ had been in the dream.

It took a second for the fact to sink in, that it had just been a dream. It had been the second nightmare like this tonight. It left a tight feeling in his chest as he came to the realization. Although it also seemed to lift a weight off of his shoulders. On one hand, these nightmares were horrifying, and never once differed much. Each and every time, he lost her, and never once was there a thing he could do about it. Of course, she died in different ways, each time, but Hibiya could only imagine every one was excruciatingly painful. The cat was always there, heartily rubbing it in. The eeriness of it all, aside, though… At the very least, she was okay. She wasn’t dead. He had to remind himself, that she was in this very house, sleeping soundly. 

Relieved by that thought, he quietly reached under his pillow, digging around underneath it. It was only then that he pulled out a small scrap of paper. Although, upon closer examination, it would have looked more like a photo: A photo of a girl, eleven or twelve, with dark hair pulled into pigtails, and a pink dress wrapped around her petite body. His eyes sparkled just at the sight of her. She was absolutely  _ beautiful _ .

Hiyori Asahina. The only person he’d ever loved.

_ And _ the girl he kept dreaming about losing.

He sighed as he jammed his photo back under his pillow, hopefully where she would never find it. He was so, so scared. Just seeing that face; He couldn’t imagine it in pain. She was his  **_crush_ ** . It was terrifying to think about, this whole situation was. The city was such a scary place. There were so many ways to get hurt in it! Car crashes, falling support beams, falling off ledges, getting kidnapped. Frankly, he didn’t even want to be here. He was just here for her sake. That was why he did everything nowadays, wasn’t it?

He supposed he should have gotten used to it by now. He’d been in the city for _weeks_ now. Hiyori had certainly been enjoying herself, but for him this was just one big nightmare. It was just a nightmare of constantly getting hopelessly lost, and of completing boring chores. Meanwhile, Hiyori had discovered a… Cult… To hang out with, the Maternity Spiral or something. Of course, it was just another reason to not spend time with him. He didn’t even like those people in particular. The one named Momo, especially, found a way to get under his skin. She reminded him of a crusty old lady with no sense of personal space, always trying to pinch his cheeks and call him cute.

It was like Hiyori was avoiding him! Was he really that bad? He tried, he really did. Sure… He could come off as a bit desperate, or a tad temperamental. But he wasn’t a bad kid! He was nice, really! He was always doing little favors for her! Or doing her housework! Or buying her gifts! It was little things like that that should have counted, right?

Perhaps not. Maybe he’d never find love. Maybe Hiyori would never like him, much less love him. The thought made his gut twist. It was a scary thought. What if no-one ever cared about him? It made him uncomfortable, just thinking about it. He was still young, but it was already a scary world. He didn’t want to face it alone.

Though, he supposed a world where he was alone, was better than a world where Hiyori was dead.

This was the fourth night this week that’d been like this, and certainly not just the second time this month. He’d been having these dreams since mid-August. They haunted him, ate at his very soul. They kept him up most nights, even. They left a strange sense of deja vu lingering  in his gut, and he didn’t like it at all. What if they were a forewarning? What if something bad was really going to happen to the one person he cared about most?

He slammed down on the mattress, and rolled over, curling blankets around himself. It didn’t stop his shivering, but it made him feel better, anyways. He guessed he’d just have to sleep it off, and hope no more bad dreams came to him. That was all they were, after all… Bad dreams: Nightmares. They weren’t real. And dreams weren’t always bad, after all. In his dreams, at least he could be a hero to Hiyori.

Yeah. That was the one good thing about dreams.

And with that thought, he slipped into sleep yet again, praying that visions of heroism and love filled his head, instead of car crashes, matted hair, and pretentious cats.

* * *

 

 

“So, how did  _ you _ sleep last night?”

“I’ve had better nights.”

Hibiya shoveled cereal into his mouth, letting out a soft yawn. Even through his tired eyes, he could see Hiyori across the table, her own cereal shoved to the side, and her shoulder slid across the countertop. Her palm rested on her cheek, head laying lazily on it. Her other hand tapped against the table, fingers rhythmically rising up and down. Her dark eyes did not have the same brand of exhaustion his held in them. Her eyes were alive, filled with emotions and irritation. They were beautiful.

“I could tell. Just _ look  _ at yourself!” She huffed, rather unimpressed. She removed her fingers from the table and motioned to… Just about all of him. “You’re going to have to clean yourself up before we spend more time with the Mekakushi Dan later today!”

Hibiya let out a gagging noise as he took another bite of cereal. He spoke up, barely hidden disgust in his voice. “We’re hanging out with them  _ again _ ? Can’t we do something more fun? Just… Me and you?” He could see it in his mind: A beautiful scene of the two of them doing something romantic. It could be just him and her, no teenagers around, with a summer romance blooming in the air.

“Don’t talk bad about them.” Hiyori huffed. “It’s not like we have anything better to do. I’ve already tired myself of the city.” She inspected her fingernails. They were bitten down to stubs. “It’s really quite small around here once you get your mind wrapped around all the people. There’s nothing to do.” She let out a snort. “Although, we  _ are _ running out of food. Would you rather stop by the grocery store than spend time with me and them?”

Hibiya took a sharp intake of air, practically choking on his Frosted Flakes. “No! Of course not!” He sputtered, eyes wide. “T-Though of course if you want me to go… I… I can! Just for you! But I’d much rather spend time with the Mekakishi Den!” His knuckles were as white as ghosts, a result of how tightly they were clamped around the countertop.

“Jeez, Hibiya. You’re such a **_doormat_ ** . It’s embarrassing.” Hiyori rolled her eyes. “And it’s pronounced Mekakushi Dan. You better not slip up on it around them. Kano would never let you forget it.” 

Hibiya couldn’t even deny the accusations of doormatism. All he could do was relentlessly attempt to stop his cheeks from flushing red in embarrassment. It was true. He let people walk all over him, Hiyori in particular. But how could he not!? What if refusing to let people walk over him made people hate him? He’d much rather have been a slave to everyone’s whims, than an unloved loser. Bothered by that thought, he quickly refocused his attention on Hiyori’s other point.

“Kano is obnoxious. I don’t care what he thinks. He never shuts up.”

“At least he’s not as bad as  _ you _ .”

Even Hiyori seemed a tad startled by the sick burn she’d issued there. Hibiya removed his gaze from hers, trying to hide a shameful, and even more crimson, face.

“Though I suppose you’re not, like,  _ that _ bad.” Hiyori mused. “I’m just saying: Kano would  _ never _ let anyone use him. He’s confident, as much as I’d like to shove a stick up his ass. You could use more traits like that.”

Hibiya, instead of being bothered by the suggestion of ‘being more like Kano’, stood agape at her language. As rude and thoughtless as he was, he was a politely raised boy. His father would have whooped  _ his _ ass if he’d ever used language like that around the house. Terms like ‘ass’ were still mysterious wonders to him, like forbidden fruit.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Hiyori quizzically remarked. She didn’t seem to realize exactly what she’d done. She was looking more and more defensive with each passing second.

“You used the A-Word.” Hibiya whispered in wonder.

“Ass, you mean?” Hiyori huffed. “Of course I used ass! It’s not like there’s anyone around to scold us.” She drifted off, returning to her drumming of the table. “You really are a big baby. I can’t believe that’s such a big deal to you. There aren’t even any adults around! Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who’s uncomfortable with swearing.”

“O-Of course not!” Hibiya lied, nervously bringing his fingers through his hair. “I’m not afraid of any… Damn swearing.” He went silent. It had just been a single cuss. But it had still felt so foreign on his tongue. He’d never used that word in his life. It was taboo. It was morally wrong. But looking into Hiyori’s judgemental eyes, he couldn’t have stopped himself. She had an aura of demandingness. It was breathtaking (And kinda scary, for that matter).

Hiyori let out a sigh. “You really are a fool, aren’t you, Hibiya?” She muttered, before suddenly perking up a little. Her pigtails jerked abruptly with the motion of her head. “Though, speaking of things we can do, since no adults are around. Would you like a drink?” She stood up, and slid out of her chair.

Hibiya took a moment to process what she’d offered, before gaping at her. Although, his stare quickly faltered as she looked at him, unamused. He brushed himself off, returning to a more neutral expression. “N...No thank you.” He declined, feeling a few beads of sweat drip down the back of his neck. Was she really offering what he thought she was? He knew Hiyori could be a bad influence, but this was too much. They were  _ twelve _ . “...Can I have a cup of coffee, instead? Maybe that would wake me up.”

“You really _ are _ a wimp.” Hiyori huffed, an unimpressed look crossing her face. Nonetheless, she still stood up, heading towards the coffee machine to fulfil his request. “More for me, I guess.” Hibiya was faced with her back as she began to pour water into the glass. He smiled a little. He liked the ways her shoulders heaved up and down when she was annoyed. They were so petite, yet so fierce, just like the rest of her.

She snapped open the cabinet, hopping up to grab a packet of grounds. She tore it open with her teeth. If that had been anyone else, it would have bothered the clean-freak Hibiya, but as it was Hiyori, he didn’t let it get to him. Sure, she’d torn open what he was going to drink with her bare teeth, but they were  **_her_ ** teeth. Did that count as an indirect kiss?  _ Maybe  _ that counted as an indirect kiss.\

She shook the grounds into the water with a single sharp snap of her wrist, before turning on the coffee machine, and pouring the whole mixture in. Then, finished with that task, and letting the coffee warm up, she proceeded to begin digging around in the rest of the shelves and drawers. She was looking for her own drink.

Finally, she found it. She retrieved the  _ alcohol  _ from the cabinet, a proud smirk on her face as she lifted it into her arms, grabbed Hibiya’s finished coffee, and strutted back to the table. She placed the steaming cup of coffee on the table, surprisingly tenderly for an action taken by her. Perhaps she was actually proud of the blazing drink she’d created all on her own.

“There you go. I’m not sure if I made it, like, right, but it’ll just have to do. And if it’s too bitter, you can just suck it up.” She clarified, reaching for her own empty cup, and pouring the alcohol (Wine of some sort?) into it. Hibiya watched her pour, although as soon as she finished the deed, he instantly looked away. As she raised the mug to her lips, she’d given his stare a confused, skeptical, look.

He raised his own drink to his mouth, taking a hesitant sip of the brown substance. His face instinctively scrunched upon the taste. She was right, it was bitter or something… Bitter and grainy. It had left a strange aftertaste on his tongue. It made him wonder if it was the flavoring, how Hiyori had made it, or just how coffee tasted in general. He didn’t quite know. He was no coffee expertise. In fact, he’d never even had coffee before this. His family was much of of a ‘tea’ one. Still, despite the bitter taste, he took another, bigger, gulp. It was no less bitter, but he’d seen it coming this time. He smiled at the unappealing taste. It made him feel grown up just to drink it. Grown ups drank coffee, right?

Hiyori raised an eyebrow as she watched the faces Hibiya made. She removed the ceramic cup filled with wine from her mouth, pausing to speak. “Does it taste fine? Don’t tell me you’re going to throw a hissy fit.”

He stopped his hesitant sipping, heartily shaking his head. “Of course not!” He clarified. “It tastes fine! I’ve just never had it before!” Satisfied with that answer, Hiyori went back to her own drink. She seemed quite content with it. Hibiya watched her in wonder. She really was tough, huh? He just wondered if she was actually going to get  _ drunk _ . Embraced in such interesting, and slightly terrifying, thoughts, he didn’t even notice himself begin to gape.

“What are you looking at?” Hiyori snapped, her voice impatient. Hibiya jolted, quickly tearing his gaze from her beautiful figure, and instead looking deep into his coffee. 

“I...It’s nothing.” He assured, taking another sip, as if to renew his manhood. He savored it more this time, trying to focus on anything except for Hiyori’s demanding gaze. It was still as bitter as ever, but it was also… Refreshing. It really was strong in the kind of way that gave you just enough of a kick to wake you up. His confidence restored by coffee, he shyly looked up yet again. “I was just wondering… Are you going to get…” He hesitated. “ _ Drunk _ ?” He said the word with such wonder, like how he’d earlier spoken of ‘ass’. 

Hiyori let out a bark of a laugh. “Of course not!” She responded, irritation just barely edging at the corners of her voice. “I just wanted to taste it for myself, see what the fuss was about, not get drunk!” She paused, placing her cup back down on the table. Now that it was still, Hibiya could see some kind of family portrait printed on it. He didn’t quite recognize the faces, but something about them seemed unnervingly familiar. They looked happy. “Stop being such a wuss! It’s not like we’re not allowed to do this. If my brother-in-law hadn’t wanted me digging through his drinks, then he shouldn’t have left them out.”

Despite her harsh, certain, words, Hiyori did not pick up the drink again, as to finish it.

Hibiya did not finish his coffee, either. He placed it on the table, looking down at it. It appeared he hadn’t even drunk half the cup. He felt his ego deflate just a little. It had felt like he’d had a lot more, but he just couldn’t have stood the taste any longer. It was starting to bother him, and it was  _ still  _ leftover in his mouth. If he hadn’t been in front of Hiyori he most likely would have stuck his tongue out in disgust. Still, what he had drunk was surely enough to wake him up, right?

He rubbed his eyes, sitting up straighter, and trying to convince himself that he’d gotten any more sleep last night. Hiyori watched him for a moment, but her glance did not last. Instead she pushed herself up, away from the table, and stretched as she raised onto her feet. 

“Are you finished with breakfast, then?” She impatiently asked. Hibiya gave a small, somewhat shy, nod, earning one back from her. “Then let’s get ready. I’m sure the Dan is already waiting. Go on, get out of your pajamas. Get into something real nice! Try not to embarrass me too much.” Her harsh words were mesmerizing. 

It was the good kind of mesmerizing, though, the kind that made Hibiya love her so much.

“Of… Of course.” He agreed, pushing himself up, too. He began to head towards his temporary room, and prepared to get dressed. Yet, before he closed the door behind him, he took one last glance at that face he loved so much, and wished, just wished, that she’d want to take a peek. 

He suddenly felt violated by his own thoughts. He really was a pervert, wasn’t he? But they didn’t vanish, anyways. And as such things were, he closed the door with a gentle sigh, and was forced to slip his pajamas off over his head with such dirty thoughts still invading his brain.


	2. She Laughs At My Dreams, But I Dream About Her Laughter

“Hey, guys! I was starting to think you’d never show up!”

“She’s right! She was practically _ trembling _ in tears because she was so worried for you!”

The first thing Hibiya saw as he approached the strange group of teens was Shuuya Kano being elbowed.

That was not out of the ordinary, judging by the older boy’s face and arms: Splotched with black and blue. As such, not worrying about the integrity of a complete jerkwad, Hibiya merely sat down on a nearby couch. He avoided eye contact with the older children, and tried his best to become comfortable. 

He didn’t really want to be here. He had to admit,  _ some  _ of the ‘Mekakushi Dan’ were nice people. But something about them gave him the chills. They just had… Shifty eyes, or something. And it didn’t help that they’d basically just invited themselves into his and Hiyori’s lives without much permission. One day they hadn’t even existed in the daily routines of the two preteens, and then the next they just… Had. It was almost kind of spooky. They were like ghosts.

Hiyori, on the other hand, was perfectly content with spending her time here. There she was, already engaging herself in conversation. She gave a, quick, excited, greeting to Momo. A fist bump was exchanged with Kano. A genuine smile was given to Seto as he said ‘hello’. Hibiya  felt jealousy prick in his gut. She never smiled at him like that. Why was that? He hung out with the Menstrual Den, too! Didn’t that make him cool? And that wasn’t even getting started on the smiles she gave to  **_Konoha_ ** . He was nineteen or something, for Pete’s sake! Hibiya could stand everyone here, perhaps excluding Momo, except for him.

Luckily, some of Hibiya’s fears for today were put to rest as he heard the rolling of  _ wheels _ across the ground. Haruka Kokonose entered the room, a broad grin on his face. Hibiya let out a small sigh of relief. He couldn’t quite figure out the reasons why, but he’d never seen Haruka and Konoha in the same room before. It was like they couldn’t stand each other. Either that, or they had some kind of ongoing grudge about which one of them was more ‘selfless’, ‘pure’, and ‘saintlike’. 

In most circumstances, he would have just assumed they were the same person. They appeared nearly identical. Only one thing set them, quite unmistakably apart: Haruka was disabled. Konoha was… Quite the opposite. (Sometimes he’d seen the man jumping off the walls! Literally!) All of that aside, though, Hibiya knew that the appearance of the blond meant they wouldn’t be seeing Konoha again today. Thank the heavens. Hibiya much prefered the company of Haruka. He was down to earth, and unlike in the way Konoha was, where he acted like a zombie.

“Oh? They’re here?” The boy gave an excited wave. Hiyori waved back with just as much enthusiasm. Hibiya’s wave was more hesitant. He felt obligated to show respect, but not eagerly.

“Yeah. They got here a few minutes ago.” Hibiya suddenly let out a yelp as he heard a voice beside him. He snapped around, coming face to face with the girl who led this little cult: Kido Tsubomi. He stared at her, mouth agape. Sure, she’d been in the room earlier. But why hadn’t he noticed her sitting down beside him!? It was creepy how quickly she could appear where you didn’t expect her to. It was as if she could… Turn invisible. In fact? She was the most ghost-like person here of all.

She snorted a little. “Oh? Did I surprise you?” She asked, earning an earnest, quiet nod, from Hibiya. She smiled, just a little. Her dark eyes shimmered from beneath the mask that was the combination of her huge baggy hood, and messy bangs of hair. “Don’t worry. I’m not trying to sneak up on you, kid. I just needed somewhere to sit that  _ wasn’t  _ next to him.” She motioned to where Kano sat, back against the wall, a smug expression on his face. He stuck his tongue out at her, and she responded with a few motions that left Hibiya aghast.

Things continued like that for a few moments, casual talking, friends creating conversation, and, of course, Hiyori smiling at everyone except for him. Oh! Also Kido awkwardly staring at him, as if trying to create conversation, and making the occasional turn of her body to show her brother a ‘polite’ hand gesture or two.

Hibiya wondered if all teenagers hung out like this. Was this a big kid thing? Just lounging around and arguing? Or had he really gotten himself into some kind of strange cult where everything was upsidedown? He just didn’t know. Perhaps he would have tasked himself with that thought more, but did not get the chance, as yet another person approached to bother him.

“Hey, Hibiya! What' s up?”

Hibiya let out a discontented grunt as he looked up at the girl who had said hello. Her  _ obviously dyed  _ bright-orange hair was pulled up into a messy side ponytail. A wide, interested, grin spanned her entire face. Her boobs swerved with her motions as she leaned down. Hibiya rolled his eyes. Sometimes he swore her boobs were the only part of Momo Kisaragi he could stand.

“The sky.” He snapped, repeating the retort he’d surely heard somewhere else. Maybe if he came off as annoyed enough, and uninterested with her companionship, she’d just leave him alone. Then, with Momo out of the way, he could approach the wonderful Hiyori, who now appeared to be leaning over some sort of device with Seto and Marry.

Momo did not appear to be deterred by his unclever remarks. If anything, she was the kind of person who was only egged on more by disappointment. She wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. It just made Hibiya wonder if she’d had everything handed to her on a silver platter for all of her life. If so, he was jealous. He had to work hard for everything he had. And when he worked hard, he worked **_hard_ ** . 

“Oh c’mon! Don’t be silly. Tell me what’s really going on. I’m just curious.” She drifted off, literally tilting her head as she observed him. “You seem a little down today. Or at least… Bored or something.”

Hibiya was about to make another retort, but shied away from that idea as he felt an elbow abruptly, albeit gently, hit his side. He glanced over, wild eyed, only to make eye contact with Kido. She had a stern expression on her face, as per the norm.

“It would be nice to actually answer her question.”

Welp. It appeared he had been forced into a dead end here. It was either face the agony of conversation with Momo, or face the wrath of an angry Kido. As unbearable as Momo and her large boobs were, they were nothing compared to Kido’s rage. Just thinking about her temper, Kano’s shrieks came to mind. Hibiya shuddered. He had made his choice.

“I’m… Uh… Pretty fine.” He gave a nonchalant shrug. He didn’t feel ‘down’. Sure, he was a little jealous of how much attention Hiyori was giving to other people. But he wasn’t outright sad. Perhaps he was emanating how little sleep he’d gotten last night? That was probably it. He’d been up for at least a few hours with on and off nightmares. Even coffee couldn’t fix that, could it? “I just didn’t get much sleep last night.” He finally admitted, trying not to make it seem like a big deal. He was a tough almost-teenager. He didn’t get  _ sleepy _ .

Momo raised an eyebrow in concern. “Not much sleep, huh?” She asked, her lips curving down into a slight frown. Though her expression quickly returned to that peppy smile of hers. “Were you up all night partying?” She questioned with a giggle. “Try not to have too much fun, big guy. Everyone needs sleep.” She was leaning down even more, her boobs following with her motions. Hibiya wasn’t even attempting to look her in the eyes anymore, for her… Breasts were much more at his eye level.

And, on a note completely unrelated to breasts, Hibiya was pretty certain he hadn’t been up all night having fun. He’d been up all night tossing and turning in bed, in a cold sweat, dreaming about having the one person he loved most ripped from him again and again. That was hardly his idea of a party.

Kido blinked at him, her eyes still as piercing as ever. Hibiya absentmindedly wondered if she tried to come off as that scary, or if it was some kind of resting bitch face. “...If you’re having trouble sleeping, maybe you should talk to Takane. She’s pretty much an expert on that kind of thing. And I’ll admit, she makes one hell of a coffee.” 

Takane, from where she sat across the room, let out what could almost be described as a hiss. Hibiya’s heart almost jumped out of his chest. “So help me, Kido... If you send him to me, I will bash your head in with a Wii Remote.” Kido let out an unimpressed snort. Hibiya, on the other hand, felt all color drain from his face. Takane was terrifyingly crabby when she wasn’t being a sarcastic pervert. “Why is it with sleep everything boils down to me? ‘Oh! Takane the narcoleptic! Let’s toss everything sleep related at her! I’m sure she’ll appreciate it!’  _ Bah _ ! She doesn’t!” She was ready to begin foaming at the mouth. Hibiya scooted up further against the back of the couch. It was only as Haruka began to desperately scramble to calm his enraged ‘friend’(?) down, that a shout rang out across the room.

“Oh no! I think everyone in here needs naptime!”

Everyone in the room swerved to face Kano, who leaned proudly against the wall. The shit-eating grin on his face was the most proud thing Hibiya had ever seen, even moreso than the prideful cat in his dreams. Takane grit her teeth, eyes narrowing in fury. Kido seemed to tense a little, her first clenching. Hibiya felt his face flush red. This guy was talking to him like he was still in Elementary School! He was twelve, in Junior High School! He didn’t need ‘naps’! And he was pretty sure Takane, one of the only legal adults in this entire room, didn’t either.

Kido seemed just about ready to stand up, leaning forward. But she took a deep breath, muscles relaxing, and leaned back against the couch. Hibiya couldn’t help but roll his eyes. She looked like she was using techniques she’d learned in some anger management classes. She took another few deep breaths, before turning to Hibiya with a scowl.

“Feel free to throw your shoe at the idiot. I do it all the time. It has a way of shutting him up.” Her voice was but a whisper. Hibiya stared at her, eye wide in bafflement. Honestly? If he had been any less honorifically raised, he probably would have taken her up on the offer. In fact, he’d have knocked Kano’s head off with just how hard he threw the shoe. Luckily for the boy who desperately needed a stick shoved up his  _ butt _ , Hibiya’s father had taught him better than that. Plus, Kano sort of gave the poor kid the creeps. He felt like he wouldn’t make it out of here alive if he dared to hurt the strange teen.

“...No thank you. But thank you, anyways.” Hibiya responded to her offer. Kano let out another gruff laugh. Kido was seriously straining the limits of what her anger management could do. Takane was looking ready to take Kido up on the offer of throwing a shoe at Kano’s frail body, judging by the expression on her face.

There were a few more awkward moments of silence, tension filling the air. If things had escalated any further, Hibiya was pretty certain everyone here would have exploded into some sort of vicious fistfight. Luckily for everyone in the room, the angry, Kano-induced, silence was interrupted by a single frustrated word.

**_“Fuck!”_ **

Hibiya felt his heart skip a beat. His face paled, and he had to bite his tongue back just to prevent himself from commenting on how ‘swearing was bad’. Man… Hiyori really had been right about him, huh? He was a huge wuss. Though, perhaps some of the discomfort was caused  **_not_ ** solely by the fact that swearing had occurred, but had arisen because it had come out of the mouth of some girl who hardly looked older than his age. She sat crisscrossed on the floor, hair like silk falling over his shoulders, and a frustrated expression on her face.

“You  _ almost _ had it!” Hiyori was leaning over the shoulder of the girl. Her eyebrows were slanted, an intense focus on what was held in the other’s hands. 

“She’s right, Marry. You’ll get it next time.” And there he was, Seto: the young man who seemed to serve as ‘Marry’’s babysitter. He gave her a gentle pat on the back, bringing tender fingers through her hair.

Momo started at the three of them from across the room, cocking her head yet again. “What are they doing?” She whispered cautiously. She seemed just as bothered by the ‘Marry-F-Bomb’ ordeal as Hibiya. Hibiya felt another pang of shame in his gut at that thought. Great, just  _ great _ . The only other person as soft as him here was Boobs McKenzie. 

“Video games.” Marry intently replied, despite the fact the question hadn’t truly been _ directed _ at her. She never once took her eyes off of the screen. For such a small, adorable girl, she sure did look like some breed of vicious predator stalking her prey. It could only make Hibiya wonder what kind of violent horrors she was playing. He decided it was for the better that he didn’t look. His weak heart couldn’t handle it.

At the mention of video games, Takane perked up. Her head lifted, as she finally brought her gaze away from what Hibiya could only assume was Haruka’s groin. “Video games?” She asked curiously, before hastily tacking on a more coherent question. “What kind of video games?”

“Pokemon.” Marry instantly replied, eyes still glued to the screen in frustration. She was clutching the DS so tight that her knuckles had turned an even raspier white than her usual  _ albino  _ skintone. Hibiya raised an eyebrow at that. Wasn’t Pokemon the game with the cute little animals? She seemed so… Outraged at it. He’d presumed it was some kind of absolutely brutal shooter game: A gorefest.

Takane, seemed to have jumped to the same type of conclusion. She huffed, disappointment in her tone as she remarked “That’s for children.”. Hibiya couldn’t help but roll his eyes at that. Marry was a child, wasn’t she? She didn’t appear to be much older than him and Hiyori. What kind of elitist bullcrap was this? Sure, he’d jumped to the assumption that it was something brutal and vicious, but he certainly wasn’t making fun of her for it. It couldn’t be anything  _ that _ childish if Hiyori was interested in watching.

“She _ is _ a child.” Seto retorted, leaning over the young, fluffy haired, girl, and bringing his fingers through her pale locks, yet again. She nuzzled up against him, her grip on the device loosening in her comfort. She, unlike her green protector, did not seem very occupied with the idea of defending herself. She was lost in another world entirely.

“Yeah. Shut your yap.” Hiyori snarled at Takane, defensively leaning over Marry. Hibiya watched her in wonder. It really was a miracle how she could stand up to people like that. She had so much  _ confidence _ . Takane was an adult, and an easy to enrage, one, at that. Hibiya, if he had been in her shoes, would have been terrified of standing up to her. Yet, there Hiyori was, directly telling her to shut up with so much ferocity. Some would have called her rude, or even blatantly disrespectful, but Hibiya only saw bravery. She had a fire inside of her. It was something to look up to. She wasn’t afraid of anything!

“Jeez. Is she sure it’s a good way to talk to Takane like that?” Momo questioned, concern in her tone.

“She’s going to get herself killed one of these days, if she doesn’t watch it..” Kido agreed, exhaustion dripping off of her tone. Despite that, though, Hibiya swore that he saw an amused smirk peeking out from under her hood.

It appeared they didn’t share the same opinion on Hiyori’s inner fire as him. He pouted, crossing his arms as he looked up at the duo of girls. He… Didn’t appreciate the way they were talking about that. They made comments about death so nonchalantly. With what had been haunting his imagination lately, that wasn’t something he wanted to hear brought up in casual conversation. “...She’s not going to get killed. If anything bad happens to her, I’ll protect her.” He peeped up, determination in his tone.

Luckily for Hibiya, there was no need to defend her right now. Even Takane had more self restraint than to beat up a twelve year old. The only thing Hibiya had to protect right now was himself, from Momo and Kido’s bemused looks.

“...Does that mean you’re about to fight Takane? ‘Cause I’d pay money to watch that.” Kido was smiling yet again. Something about her smile unnerved Hibiya. It was too calm, almost as if she couldn’t smile genuinely. What exactly had she seen during the course of her life? 

Momo’s smile, on the other hand, was not unnerving in the slightest, just obnoxious. She was grinning from ear to ear, and leaning way too close for comfort. He shied away from the older girl’s lack of personal space. “Oh my god! That’s so  _ sweet! _ ” She gushed, proudly gazing at him. 

“I… It’s really not.” Hibiya huffed, desperately attempting to avoid eye contact as he spoke. He could feel his face flushing red. He sheepishly stared at his feet, distraught, and unwilling to let the other two see his embarrassment.

They saw it anyways. Momo giggled at his flushed cheeks, which, of course, only caused them to burn a brighter shade of pink. “It is! Don’t deny it! I think it’s super cute! I bet you’d be willing to go through a ton for her! I mean… I knew you had a crush on her, or something, but I never knew it was so _ adorable _ !”   


**_“Huwut!?”_ ** Hibiya let out an ashamed excuse for a scream as he lept up to cover Momo’s mouth with his own bare hands. Was he really that obvious!? He’d thought he’d been doing pretty well at hiding his crush on Hiyori! He didn’t stare at her that much, did he? Suddenly he felt ashamed and uncomfortable. Mad, too for that matter; Mad at Momo and her blabbering mouth.

“D-Don’t say that so nosily!” He hissed, utter humiliation eating at his voice. “I-I-It’s not cute! And even if it was, you don’t have to go broadcasting it across the entire base, you loudmouth! I… I _ … I’m not cute _ !” 

Momo only giggled more as she pried his fingers away from her mouth. Hell, if Hibiya listened close enough, he probably would have heard a chuckle or two from Kido. His face was not just pink anymore, but an ungodly shade of red that could possibly only be described as ‘anime’. Every member of the Dan was staring at him by now, some more confused than others.

Kido stifled one last scoff, before looking over the rest of the Dan. She gruffly spoke up. “There’s nothing to see here.” She barked, rolling her eyes. “Go back to your daily business. This isn’t a goddamn commotion.” Surprisingly enough, they did; Not because they believed her that nothing was going on, but more likely because they were too scared of her to continue staring. 

Hibiya’s face was returning to a more humane color by now. Although, he still couldn’t bring himself to look the bemused teenagers in the eyes. He brought his legs up onto the couch, glumly burying his head in his knees.

“Aw. C’mon, I’m sorry.” Momo apologized, making sure to use her ‘indoor voice’ this time. She gave him a gentle pat on the back; Or, at least, gentle for her hyperactive standards. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. You know that. It is really sweet of you, you gotta admit.”

Kido snorted. “Kisaragi. Nothing’s going to stop him from getting embarrassed. He’s like a little jumpy ball of embarrassment. Just look at him.” Hibiya glowered even more, only proving Kido’s point. Then, almost suddenly, she was talking to him, not about him. “Not that I blame you, kid. Crushes are  _ embarrassing business _ .” 

_ “Yeah! Kido would know _ **_all_ ** _ about that!”  _

Kido jolted, eyes wide as she searched for the perpetrator of that comment. When her eyes locked with unmistakably catlike ones across the room, she let out a frustrated  _ scream _ . “Shuuya! For the love of all that is holy! If you don’t stop listening in on my goddamn conversations I’ll… I’ll…” She drifted off, gritting her teeth as she searched for the right words. “I’ll drag you down to  _ hell! _ ”

Suddenly, she was taking herself up on her own offer. She took her shoe, yanked it off of her foot with a single swift motion, and then it was barreling at Kano’s head before Hibiya could have said ‘shoes are not supposed to fly’. It hit head on, earning a shocked yelp from Kano. It was not his lucky day, was it? Luckily for the three of them, though, he would probably be deterred from listening in on them now.

“You have a crush, Danchou?”

“N...No way. Ignore Kano’s bullshit. You know how he is.” Now it was Kido’s turn to have an unnaturally red face. The stutter in the usually stoic girl’s tone, combined with the way her cheeks flushed pink, led Hibiya to believe she wasn’t quite telling the truth about that whole ‘Kano is just spouting bullshit’ thing. He smirked. It made him feel a little better just knowing that even someone as scary as Kido could have crushes.

“Alright.” Momo nodded sternly… Or, at least, as sternly as someone with bright neon hair, and the facial expressions of a newborn puppy could. “Though, if you ever do get any crushes, Danchou, you can tell me all about it.” She grinned. “We could talk about it, like girls should! Y’know. All ‘Who do you like?’ ‘I like someone tough and adorable! I dare you to guess who!’ That kind of thing. That normal kids do.” Kido’s face was reaching Hibiya levels of ‘anime embarrassed’, now. He almost felt bad for her, except not really. He was just thankful the crush conversation had been brought away from  _ him _ .

“And the same goes for you, Hibiya! You can talk to us about your crush any time, too!” Hibiya’s heart practically stopped in his chest. Apparently the conversation _ hadn’t _ been brought away from him. Oh for _ heck’s _ sake. 

“T… That won’t be needed.” He quickly declined, returning his gaze to the ever so interesting and non-embarrassing thing known as ‘his shoes’. Despite his efforts, he could still feel Momo’s gentle, oh-too-kind stare burning him up. He felt just about ready to fall over dead from the awkward embarrassment of everything about this.

“...Aw. C’mon, Hibiya. You can trust us.” Momo whined, leaning closer to him. Finally he looked up, away from the miracle that was his shoes, and the fact that they were still on, not hurtling at anyone halfway across the room. “We aren’t going to tell anyone. Or at least, I’m not. I dunno about Danchou.”

“Of course I’m not going to tell anyone!” Kido clarified breifly. “Who do you think I am to go spilling people’s secrets? Kano?” For a moment, Hibiya almost expected Kano to speak up and defend himself, but there was nothing. In fact, Kano had left the room entirely. It appeared Kido’s efforts really had gotten him to leave them alone. “Your secret’s safe with me, kid.” And then it was her turn to lean over and pat his back. He uncomfortably shuffled. What was this? A petting zoo?

“And we can give you advice, too!” Momo proudly tacked on. “We’re almost-adults, y’know. We’ve seen a whole lot. And we know  _ all  _ about that kind of lovey dovey stuff! We know exactly what it’s like. And we can tell you  _ exactly _ what to do.” She winked. “You just have to trust us, Hibiya!”

Kido nodded. “Yeah, Kisaragi’s right. If you ever need to talk about that kind of thing, or need advice, we’re here. That goes for the whole Dan, not just us two. Everyone’s willing to lend you a hand if you need some help. Yes, even  _ Kano _ .”

Hibiya almost felt flattered. Was it really such a big deal? Sure, he had a little crush. And sure, he was one of the youngest ones here. But despite all that, it was almost… Sweet to hear Kido offering that kind of thing. Even if Hibiya wasn’t that fond of the Mekakushi Dan, or of being patronized, he couldn’t make himself himself angry. He merely nodded. “Thanks. I’ll… Keep that in mind.” He paused. “Though, no offence, who would want advice from  _ Kano _ ?”

“Hell if I know. Anyone who would seriously follow his advice is batshit  _ insane _ . I just had to prove a point or something.”

Momo stared at the other girl, deep concentration in her eyes.. “I think it’s a pretty good point, Danchou. I mean, Kano is the least selfless one here. But he’s not completely selfish, either. I’m sure you’re right about him being willing to help Hibiya if he really needs it.” She pondered that to herself for a moment or two, before turning to Hibiya. “But yeah, Danchou is right. If you need anything, and I mean  _ anything _ , we’re here.”

Hibiya could only nod yet again. Although he doubted he’d ever take them up on the offer, he still appreciated their hospitality. He’d always been taught to be thankful for unneeded kindness. And, as such, he was.

“Thank you.”

* * *

 

The young girl slammed the door behind her as she stepped into the building. She did not remove her shoes, or even wipe her feet, as she dragged her muddy sandals across the floor. Why did it matter? Surely someone would clean it up later. Just not her!

Ah yes. Truly the ‘alone’ life was one for Hiyori Asahina. No adults. No scolding. No worries. No responsibilities. Just her, herself, and--

“Hiyori. Some mud got on the floor.”

And _ Hibiya _ . 

Okay. So perhaps the term ‘living alone’ wasn’t quite accurate for the type of summer vacation she was embarking on at this moment. For, she was not in fact alone. She had the company of a single person. But said single person was a weak willed boy: Someone you could walk all over. She enjoyed his company, to the vaguest extent, but he was still more or less a walking talking doormat. It practically  _ was _ like living alone. Or, at least, living with someone who would not dare to ruin her fun.

“If that, like, bothers you so much, Hibiya, you can always just clean it up.” Finally she kicked her sandals off. Some more mud flecked across the room. But she didn’t let it bother her. She knew that Hibiya would end up cleaning it up anyways. 

The boy flinched, both at the sudden motion, and at the suggestion of him cleaning up. Hiyori rolled her eyes. If it really bothered him so much, he could have just said ‘no’. It wasn’t like it would have bothered Hiyori. For all she cared, they could wreck this entire place. It was none of their concern. Brother-In-Law Tateyama would end up cleaning it all up for them in the end, anyways.

“O...Oh. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea, Hiyori. I’ll clean it up in a bit.” He nervously chuckled. Judging by the fake tone in his voice, and the halfhearted smile on his face, Hiyori could only assume that he was feigning excitement for household chores, and failing miserably at it. “But first I think I should make dinner. I’m starving. What about you?”

Hiyori considered his suggestion for a moment. Now that she thought about it, she could hear her stomach grumbling. For once, it didn’t seem that Hibiya’s suggestion was a bad one. She nodded. “Yeah. I could eat an entire horse.” She agreed. She did not even look at Hibiya as she said so. Instead, she casually inspected her nubby, bitten-down, fingernails, rather uninterested in this whole ordeal. 

“Well! I don’t think I have any horse! But I’ll see what I can do!” Hibiya gave a scarily eager grin, before trailing over to the cabinets and opening each one. Hiyori still did not look at him.  She merely listened to him scramble around the room. She heard him pipe up yet again. “Maybe you should leave the room, Hiyori. I wanna surprise you.”

Frankly, Hiyori didn’t really care about surprises. But she wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to leave the room. She could think of a hundred things more fun than watching Hibiya cook. “Yeah. I’ll… Uh… Go.” She agreed with yet another nod, before absconding to the other room. Once there, she prepped herself up on the couch, getting comfortable, nuzzling herself into the cushion, and reaching for the TV remote.

She flickered it on, beginning to flip through the channels, and rolling her eyes at each one. Some kind of romantic drama? She’d never gotten the appeal of that kind of thing. Who cared if Makoto got with Mina? Certainly not her. Some kind of anime she’d only caught a single episode of? Once again. Who cared. She couldn’t have been bothered less by whether or not Sodaneet-chan got out of his room or not. Some cooking channel? Bah! That was more up Hibiya’s alley. She couldn’t have cared less about what was put into a meal, the stylishness of it, or how much the cook got yelled at for it. She cared about what it tasted like! Nothing more, nothing less.

People could be so nonsensical sometimes. She just didn’t get it. How was that entertainment? Surely she couldn’t have been the only one who saw all the nonsense in this. Perhaps some would have called her ‘entitled’. After all, she couldn’t have made anything better than the garbage currently on her screen. But she did not care what others thought of her.

Finally she settled on a music channel, pop of some sort. Sure, it wasn’t real television, but she’d always liked that kind of thing. What kind of respectable young lady didn’t? People like Idols always made music to be admired! No-one could deny that.

A good smell of some sort was beginning to waft into the room. Hiyori cocked an eyebrow. Whatever Hibiya was making… It _ did _ admittedly smell delicious. Hibiya could be a tad annoying at times.  But he did have his uses. Cooking was one of them. And she supposed his friendship was… Something. It was not that she hated the boy. It was that he simultaneously tried so hard, and backed down so easily, that it was hard not to feel the secondhand embarrassment. It was almost uncomfortable to be around him.

It wasn’t that he was a bad… Person. It was just that there were so many better potential friends out there, like the Mekakushi Dan! A grin spread on Hiyori’s lips, just thinking about them. They were so wonderful and cool. They’d just accepted her and Hibiya into their group without a second thought! They were not only kickass, but caring. And the individual members were nothing to scoff at, either! Konoha was so strong and impressive! Momo was so sweet, and had the nicest singing voice Hiyori had ever heard! Kido was so strong, and didn’t let anyone boss her around! Even Kano, the biggest son of a bitch Hiyori had  _ ever _ met, had some kind of charm to him that regular people did not.

Hibiya did not have that charm. He wasn’t supernaturally mysterious or impressive. He was just Hibiya. And Hibiya was the most dreadfully average thing Hiyori could think of.

But hey! At least average people could cook… Or something.

Some would have called her ungrateful. But once again, she did not care. She was called lots of things. Being so headstrong like that was bound to make you gain a reputation of sorts. Some would have even called Hiyori spoiled, especially knowing the kind of family she came from. But she would have disagreed with that statement. She was not spoiled. She did not have everything handed to her on some silver platter. Sure, she tended to get everything she wanted, especially with how wealthy her lineage was. But that was not because luck itself was head over heels for her. It was because she’d learned how to tell a lie, because she’d learned how to be intimidating and not back down, because she knew how to bend the rules. She’d figured out the cheat codes to life, and she was certainly using them to her advantage.

It wasn’t being spoiled. It was being clever. And she, as many people knew, was a very clever girl.

In fact, her cleverness was how she’d managed to reach the big city in the first place. Surely even her lenient parents would have had a stroke if they’d known how she was living right now. ‘Oh! Of course Brother-in-Law Tateyama will be there watching us!’ ‘Oh! Of course I’ll bring a responsible friend!’ ‘Of course I’ll study for summerschool!’ ‘Yes! I’ll stay safe and careful! You can trust me with this!’ She’d said. And, of course, they’d believed her. She had a way of being convincing, after all. And it wasn’t truly lying, anyways. It was just… Bending the truth a bit.

Plus, she hadn’t bent  _ everything _ . Hibiya was a very responsible boy to travel with. Perhaps a bit _ too  _ responsible. Sometimes Hiyori wondered if he even knew how to have fun.

Speaking of Hibiya, the smell of food wafting around the house was growing stronger. Hiyori’s stomach was only beginning to grumble more viciously now. She hoped he’d be done soon. She was impatient and hungry. Waiting for food was not her forte. Waiting for anything was not her forte. She was almost tempted to shout in and ask him to hurry it up, but decided against it. Even  _ she _ had tact.

Her patience was rewarded. Moments later she heard Hibiya’s unmistakable voice shouting into the room. “It’s ready!” He announced, sounding rather proud, for once in his life.

Hiyori jumped off the couch, shouting “I’ll be right in!”, before parading into the kitchen, and taking a deep whiff of whatever delicious thing Hibiya had crafted. She had not been wrong about assuming it was something impressive. He had about six or seven whole dishes laid out across the table, and was standing behind them, beaming. Okay... So either Hiyori had been listening to music longer than she’d thought she’d been, or Hibiya did have a supernatural power, too, and it was an unnatural ability to make food in god-forsaken short amounts of time.

She yanked a chair out from under the table, taking a seat, and pulling it in with her feet. She observed Hibiya’s food with a cautious, yet impressed, gaze. He pulled in his own chair, right next to her. She had to admit. For food seemingly made so quickly, it looked mouth watering. Now she just had to try it and test whether or not its looks were deceiving.

She took a bite. She’d not been wrong. It didn’t just taste good. It tasted  _ delicious _ . 

Hibiya was staring at her, as if anticipating something. “Do you like it, Hiyori?” He was leaning on the table so anxiously that Hiyori practically expected it to topple over.

“Yeah. It’s actually pretty good.” She admitted, shrugging and taking another bite. Hibiya’s eyes lit up at her words. The kid looked like he’d won the goddamn lottery. He really was a tryhard, wasn’t he? “Though don’t patronize yourself too much. It’s not  **_that_ ** great.” That was a blatant lie. But what could she say? She couldn’t have his ego pandered too much. He’d get too used to it, God forbid.

He seemed to deflate a little, but nodded, anyways. He was looking down, now, away from her gaze. Not that Hiyori minded much. The less he was staring at her, the more she could focus on her eating. As she took another bite, she noted that Hibiya looked just about ready to doze off. He’d stated that he hadn’t gotten much sleep this morning, (And she hadn’t gotten much, either, for that matter), but she hadn’t known it was that bad. He looked like he was about to face plant into his mashed potatoes.

Exhaustion was contagious, though, as Hiyori soon found herself yawning, too. She rubbed at her eyes. Now Hibiya was looking up from his tired daze, and was instead resting his weary gaze on her. 

“...Are you tired?” He asked quietly, some absurd mix between curiosity and cautiousness in his voice.

“No way.” Hiyori huffed, taking another big bite, as if that somehow proved her point. She did not finish chewing before continuing on. “I’m not tired.” She denied, placing a hand firmly on her hip. “I’m just getting tired  _ looking _ at you!” She explained, eyes narrowed in skepticism. “I think you need another cup of coffee, dumbass.”

“D-Do I really look that tired?” Hibiya sputtered, suddenly rather conscious of his own exhaustion. Hiyori gave a certain nod. Hibiya was deep in thought, considering his own exhaustion, before jolting up in shock. 

“Well I might not need coffee! But I  _ did _ nearly forget drinks!” Abruptly he was up, scrambling out of his chair and towards the refrigerator. Hiyori looked over her meal, noting that he was in fact correct. She hadn’t noticed it before, but Hibiya had forgotten to give her, or himself, for that matter, anything to drink. She shook her head in disbelief. Though she supposed she couldn’t hold it against him, with how swiftly he’d cooked dinner and all.

He was leaning into the fridge, standing on the tips of his toes just to reach the top shelves. Hiyori could already feel the frosty air from inside chilling the room. Hibiya retrieved a container of water, boringly enough, from the refrigerator, and poured a glass for himself, before turning to her. “What do you want? N...Not more alcohol, right?”

“Of course not, you idiot!” She hissed, shaking her head. She swore to god, he was never going to let this drop, was he? She’d had a single glass of wine, that she hadn’t even finished, and now he was assuming she was some kind of drunkard. Even if he was only worried, it was almost insulting. She could be a tad irresponsible, and a bit more than just ‘a little’ of a bad influence. But even she had more common sense than that! It hadn’t even tasted that good, anyways.  “I’ll have some Coke, thank you very much.”

Hibiya leaned into the fridge yet again, this time bringing out the red can of soda. He held it tenderly in his hands, as if handling a newborn infant, before bringing it over to Hiyori, and placing it in front of her. He returned to his own seat, taking a sip of his water. Hiyori looked at him in disgust. She just couldn’t understand how someone could have something so drab with a meal. Hibiya really  _ was _ boring, not only in his personality, but even in what he drank!

Hibiya did not seem to notice her disapproval. For if he had, he surely would have spilled the water on the floor, and solemnly vowed to never drink anything like it ever again. Instead, Hibiya busied himself with apologies for the lateness of the beverages. “...Sorry about that.” 

“It’s… Uh… Fine.” Hiyori took a sip of her soda, letting the fizz bubble over her tongue. It was absolutely wonderful. That was another thing she liked about being on her own. Surely, even at her easygoing home, Coca Cola at the dinnertable would have been absolutely farfetched to imagine! It was asinine! It was unformal! But here? There was no-one to tell her ‘no’! She was the queen of her own little world.

Smirking at that thought, she took another bite of her meal. Hibiya did the same. What followed was an awkward few minutes of silence, consisting of no conversation, as the two children ate. Eventually, though, the silence, aside from the sound of chewing, grew to be too much, and Hibiya piped up yet again.

“So… What were you and Marry playing, earlier?” He questioned, looking right at her. He seemed to be attempting to strike up conversation. Hiyori could only snort at his attempt.

“Didn’t Marry already say?” Hiyori snapped, taking yet another gulp of her soda. “Pokemon.”

“Well, uh… Yeah... She said, but she never specified.” Hibiya awkwardly shuffled. Hiyori could hear the leg of his chair scraping against the ground. “...Isn’t there like… More than one… Or something?”

More than one? That was an understatement! How could Hibiya be so unsure about that? What kind of sheltered, pathetic, pitiful life did he lead if he wasn’t even certain that there was more than one Pokemon game!? She almost felt bad for him! Though, of course, this was the same kid who constantly acted like he lived under a rock. Perhaps it was out of her pity that Hiyori did not call him an idiot yet again, and instead gruffly stated “Pearl. She was playing Pearl.”

Hibiya gave a slow, sagely nod, as if he actually knew what that meant. Hiyori saw right through it. Though, yet again, she didn’t comment. This time, it was not out of pity, but because no combination of words strung into a sentence could describe her shame at the secondhand embarrassment Hibiya was causing right now.

“Well… That’s cool!” Hibiya finally commented, finished with his incessant nodding. “...Sounds like a whole lot of fun. Maybe I can play with you guys, next time?” 

Hiyori couldn’t say she was particularly fond of that idea. Hibiya was as boring as watching paint dry in real life. She couldn’t possibly imagine how he could be while playing video games. Still, looking into boy’s desperate hazel eyes, she didn’t have the heart to turn him down. Instead she gave a lazy shrug. “Only if Marry says you can. It’s her game, after all.”

“Oh. Alright.” Hibiya looked like he’d been punched in the gut. Hiyori did not even feel bad. She hadn’t said anything rude; Only the simple truth. She didn’t even get why Hibiya was so desperate to spend time with her. He’d seemed to be having plenty of fun with Momo and Kido earlier in the day. She hadn’t really been paying attention to them, but they’d been shouting and screaming: The whole deal. It had been quite a racket. Surely that could only mean it had been a kickass time.

Hibiya did not try to strike up conversation for the rest of the meal. Hiyori did not, either. 

Finally, after a few more silent minutes of eating, Hiyori took one last sip of her soda, and tossed the empty can to the side. “I’m finished.” She announced, abruptly standing up, and shoving her chair away from her. Hibiya startled at the sudden motion, although quickly nodded, and brushed his own plates aside.

“Do you maybe want to do something, now that we’re done, Hiyori? Just you and me?” Hibiya offered, nervously grinning. Hiyori was almost tempted to accept his offer, but was deterred by another yawn rising in her gut, and the almost libidinous look in Hibiya’s eyes. 

“No thank you.” She bluntly stated. “I’m far too tired for that.” Both physically,  _ and _ emotionally, she couldn’t handle Hibiya right now. She usually hated to succumb to sleep so early. She was the kind of girl who would have much rather stayed up all night, (Especially when there was no-one there to force her to turn the lights off!), but with the amount of sleep she’d been getting lately, any sleep seemed welcoming right now. And even sleep was preferable over Hibiya’s desperate attempts at friendship(?).

Hibiya seemed dejected, but did not try to push his idea on her. Instead, he merely gave her a downcast frown. Hiyori didn’t even flinch. 

“...Maybe while I’m sleeping you can clean up the muddy floor, since it bothers you so much?” And with that she was gone, marching into the temporary room that she had claimed as her own. She closed the door behind her as she entered, proceeding to quickly slip out of her daily clothes, and into her pajamas. She flicked the light switch off, before flopping onto the mattress. 

Usually a young lady like Hiyori would have stayed up for a bit, perhaps lying, entwined in the blankets, phone in hand. Or, less interestingly, head down on her pillow, leaving her alone with her thoughts. But Hiyori had no time for that kind of thing right now. She was tired, and a tired Hiyori was not good news.

As such, sleep took her in due time.

* * *

 

Hiyori Asahina had always considered cats her favorite animals.

**_Had._ **

She’d always liked how proud they were. And no wonder! They were pretty, elegant creatures, with the ability to worm their way out of any situation. And they were smart, too. Unlike most animals, cats did not seem to obey humans, or even behave animalistic in the slightest. They had some kind of foreign intelligence in their eyes. And they certainly used it. Cats took orders from no-one. Cats were the monarchs of their own worlds. Cats, unlike dogs, or any animal, for that matter, did not listen. They did not let others walk all over them. They fended for themselves. They survived on their own. They were graceful and clever. They only used others when absolutely necessary. 

There it sat, bringing a rough pink tongue through it’s dark fur. It calmly purred, eyes pleasured, as it ignored the calamity that had taken place beside it.

There  _ he _ lay, beside the feline, and sprawled out more like a run over animal than like a person. He seemed crushed; Twisted in ways that he wasn’t supposed to go. Blood soaked the concrete. Suddenly Hibiya Amamiya seemed pitifully small. 

Hiyori felt her gut twist. She knew it couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be. It was… Just another dream. It had to be. But it felt too real. She could feel her heart pound against her chest. She could hear the static crackle of some distant telephone line. She could see the black cat, proudly sitting there, chest rising up and down, unlike the chest of the boy it seemed to guard. It felt too real not to be. Too horribly, sickeningly, real.

Her legs shook beneath her. She wanted to step forward. Do anything. Do anything to change this. But they would not obey her. She felt sick to her stomach; Ready to collapse at any moment. All she could manage to do was choke back tears and utter a faint “Sorry…--”

Sorry for how terribly she’d treated him. Sorry for how many times she’d turned down his offers of friendship. Sorry for how many times she’d crushed his feelings without a second thought. Sorry for how many times she’d seen this all-too-real-feeling situation happen. Sorry for how she couldn’t save him. Sorry for how she couldn’t even force herself to cradle his broken body.

**_“I’m so sorry!”_ **

Her voice was but a wail, no refinery held in it at all. And suddenly she was on the ground, her knees buckled beneath her. For she was not tricky, graceful, or refined, like the animal in front of her. She was a screaming child, begging for forgiveness from something not there, and clawing at her hair as she tried to hold back tears. 

Through her bawls, she couldn’t even see a small, knowledgeable, smirk form on the feline’s face.

**_“What you see is exactly what you’re gonna get.”_ **

* * *

 

Hiyori jolted awake, barely managing to stop herself from letting out a cry as she was returned to the waking world. She felt her chest pound, and stared forward, shakily gulping, as she came to the realization of what had just happened. It… Had just been a dream. That was all. Just a dream. Hibiya was all right.

She blinked, feeling wetness at the corners of her eyelids. She quickly raised a hand up to her face and batted any forming tears away. Though, perhaps she hadn’t been swift enough, judging from the wet tearstains on her pillow, that she could feel just barely dampening her cheek.

She took a shuddery breath, and pushed herself up. It was only then that she pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around them, and laying her head on her pantleg. She lay there for just a moment, wallowing in her own self pity and terror.

It had felt so real. The smell of blood. The way Hibiya crumpled. The god forsaken cat. Perhaps all dreams were like that; Deceiving, just as much as a cat was, tricky and playing with your emotions and mind. But this dream… This was something else entirely. She had never felt anything like it. It almost felt… Familiar. And it was  _ scary _ .

Her grip around her knees tightened.

Plus… Even if it was just a dream, that didn’t make it any less valid, did it? Those emotions she’d felt at seeing Hibiya’s small figure so lifeless like that. It was… Painful to think about. It was outright terrifying. Sure… She’d treated Hibiya a little badly sometimes. But he was just about the only friend she’d ever had. She couldn’t imagine his life being stolen from him so swiftly and painfully. She _ wouldn’t _ imagine it.

...She really was a bad friend, wasn’t she?

She was mean to him. She was sick of him. She was  _ embarrassed _ of him. Yet… He kept trying. And her? She did nothing. She was not kind. She was not friendly. She was not lovely. She couldn’t even stop herself from dreaming about his death. He deserved so much more. 

She took another shaky breath, and tried to stop herself from thinking. She knew it would only make her more worked up. Instead she fell silent, trying to steady her breathing, and shut her eyes as tight as she could, listening to the city outside.

She heard cars rush by. The distant shout of someone. There was no silence. The city never slept. It was almost kind of breathtaking. In fact, perhaps, if Hiyori had been in a better state of mind, she would have brought herself out of bed, and sidled over to the window, practically pressing her face to the glass. She’d always loved the city. The countryside did not have that same life. There was something wonderful about the lights and the people.

But Hiyori did not feel even a hint of that wonder right now. Instead she just felt another pang in her gut. 

Hibiya, unlike her, had never really liked the city. He liked things calm and peaceful, much like himself. He didn’t like surprise. He liked boring. He was boring. Hiyori could still remember his first few days in the city. The way he’d scrambled around, gaping at everything in wonder. And the way he’d hopelessly got lost about half a dozen times. Yes. Certainly. The city was not his thing. It was easy to see that. But he’d come anyways, hadn’t he? 

Hiyori never would have done that for him. She knew it deep down. If he’d asked her to come somewhere that had intimidated her so much, she’d have turned him down without so much as a second thought. It was terrible. It was selfish.

She was terrible. She was selfish.

Perhaps she could have tried harder. She could have promised herself that she’d do better from now on! But truly? She knew that was not in her character. How easy was it to promise that you’d do something the next day, to your darkest thoughts at night, only to never truly come through? How easy was it to say ‘I’ll turn my life upsidedown!’ at the hours of midnight, then proceed to not even try the next morning? 

She was awful. And nothing she tried to tell herself could console that.

And as such, her efforts to act tough finally failed. Hiyori hung her head and cried.

* * *

 

Hibiya was growing begrudgingly used to hating cats.

There it was. Trailing after them with a satisfied purr. It’s ebony fur stuck out like a sore thumb among the bright colors of the city. He could hear its footsteps, claws clicking against the concrete with its leisurely pace.

He tried to ignore it. Instead he focused on the hand he gripped tightly in his own, disregarding the occasional swear or ‘what are you doing!?’ as he paced down the unreal city. The gears in his mind were churning. There had to be something he could do. Anything to change this. He just had to avoid anything and everything dangerous.

His gaze shot around like bullets, for he was nervously observing every surrounding. Were there cars nearby? What about ledges? Surely not any construction sites or flammable materials!?

Some would have called him paranoid. He didn’t care. He had seen it a thousand times before. Every little thing had a way of killing you if you weren’t careful. And Hiyori was not a careful girl. How many times had he dreamt up her death?

He was sure that was just what this was. A dream. The cat signified that. The cat wasn’t real. He refused to believe it was real. It trailed just behind him, it’s stare practically burning into the back of his skull. That gaze meant this wasn’t real. In real life cats did not have such intelligent eyes. In real life crows did not fly over an empty city. In real life Hiyori would have torn away from his grip oh so easily.

It wasn’t real. But he had to be careful, just in case it was.

“Let go of me, dumbass!”

Hibiya flinched a little at the sharp words. He felt Hiyori try to yank her wrist away, but his grasp only tightened. ‘It’s not real’ he had to remind himself again, sweat prickling on the back of his neck. He could feel it drip down his back. He could feel the way the sunlight beat on his neck. It felt too lifelike. It was ominous. It was terrible. It was sickening. It was real. But it was not real. Hiyori would never have spoke to him so harshly in reality--!

Okay. Perhaps she would have. She never spoke very fondly of him. It was always ‘dumbass this’ and ‘dumbass that’. It kind of hurt, now that he thought about it. Even in his dreams she did not have an ounce of endearment for him. Though he supposed this was less of a dream, and more of a ‘nightmare’.

“This is why no-one likes you, y’know.” The words were like venom. He stiffened. His mind was swimming. ‘It’s just a dream’ He reminded himself again. Though this time he was more unsure. “You’re just so boring! You’re pushy, too! And a creep!” The beads of sweat were starting to dribble down his forehead, too. He tried to zone himself out of what she was saying, shakily gulping. “Why won’t you just listen to me and let go, anyways? You’re usually all  _ over _ listening to me. That’s all you’re good for!” He felt sick. His mind was racing even faster. Just a dream. Just a dream. “In fact, that’s the only reason I brought you on this trip! You’re like a little butler! That’s all you’re good for!” Just a dream.  _ Just a dream _ .  **Just a dream** .

**_“No wonder no-one loves you!”_ **

And then, suddenly, she was gone, running off; For his grip had loosened in his misery. He could not even muster the will to chase after her, and try to avert her next demise. All he could do was look away, and crumple to the ground, feeling the all-too-real sensation of his knees hitting the concrete as a scream echoed in the distance.

Maybe if Hibiya had listened closely, he would have heard the cat let out a chuckle.

**_“What you see is exactly what you’re gonna get.”_ **

* * *

 

Hibiya did not awake with a jolt or a cry. Instead he awoke calmly, with a sinking feeling in his chest. He groggily pulled himself up, letting out a strained sigh as he looked around the room. His eyes locked with the clock, leading him to sleepily conclude it was two in the morning. Hey. He shuddered, looking around the dark room, and blinking profusely, as not to let tears form in his sore eyes.

He was so sick of these dreams.

He wasn’t even sure what bothered him more about them, anymore. Was it the gory, horrific, mess, or was it the emotional turmoil? Was he selfish if the answer was the latter? Anyone would have been horrified by the love of their life being slaughtered mindlessly every night. That was  _ normal _ . But things like the emotions the dreams’ words brought on him, that misery; Was that selfish to feel pained over? For, albeit less bluntly, wasn’t that how the real Hiyori felt?

He could envision her face in his mind’s eye. He could see her dark eyes, so unamused, but so beautiful. He could see the way her wonderful lips curled downwards, teeth just barely biting down. He could see the aura of disapproval she practically seemed to radiate; Yet it did not dull her breathtakingness even a bit.

He could hear the dream Hiyori’s words chastising him. 

_ “A creep!” _

That was right, wasn’t it? Here he was, dwelling on how much she most likely hated him, and all he could bring himself to focus on was how pretty she was. Was that wrong, too? Surely that was less painful to think about than the hatred alone. But at the same time… Was it perverted? He didn’t  _ want _ to be a pervert. 

All of this was so new to him. Like it had appeared in the blink of an eye. One night Hiyori was just his friend. And the next morning she… Wasn’t. It was like his own emotions had gone haywire on him, suddenly bombarding him with new emotions and desires. Was it part of him becoming as mature as he wished to be? Or was it  _ wrong _ ? Was it  _ creepy _ ? Was it  _ betraying _ Hiyori?

And his unright crush wasn’t the only way he’d lost her friendship, was it? Not only had he betrayed her, in a way that she never would have forgiven, but she’d betrayed him, too! One minute they’d been two birds of a feather. And the next they… Hadn’t. It was as simple as that. Was that another part of his ‘growing up’? Drifting apart from people he loved, to the point where he was utterly shocked that they’d even invited him here?

Suddenly he wasn’t even sure he wanted to grow up anymore.

He wanted to drink coffee. He wanted the Mekakushi Dan to respect him. He wanted to be able to go to the city on his own, no lies involved. He ever so desperately wanted to be seen as an adult, and hold adult privileges. But at the same time, he did not want to toil these responsibilities. He didn’t want to have desires for his best friend to see him naked! He didn’t want to drift apart from the people he cared about! He wasn’t ready. Not yet. But he couldn’t stop responsibility speeding at him like a rolling freight train. It was utterly terrifying.

Perhaps even more terrifying than that cat that haunted his dreams.

So terrifying that he had to rapidly blink away the tears again. He shook his head wildly, trying to distract himself from the terrible feeling in his chest, and the wetness of his eyes. He refused to let himself cry. Big boys didn’t cry. He was at least big enough to stop himself from crying. He had to be.

He took a deep breath in and out, trying desperately to focus his mind on the quiet sound of exhalation. He refused to think about Hiyori or crying or growing up or cats. He’d just focus on his breathing. Surely that was the way to calm down. He just had to empty his mind.

Or at least, that was what his dad had always said. His dad was really wise. Despite his efforts to keep his mind blank, Hibiya couldn’t stop his thoughts from wandering to the man. More than anything he wished he could have called Dad up right now, and talked to him. As strict as he could be, he always knew what to do in these kind of situations. But Hibiya knew deep down he couldn’t talk to Dad. After all, he’d come here on such a huge lie. Surely if he’d called his father up, the man would have rigorously demanded to know what kind of customs he was learning. And Hibiya would not have been able to offer up an answer. 

Hibiya felt another pang in his gut. He wished he could be home right now, nuzzled in his bed, with his dad in the other room, and no worries in the world. But instead he was here, in the big city, in this unfamiliar bed, filled with worries and anxieties. And the only other person in the entire home was the one person he couldn’t talk to about his problems.

He didn’t even like the city. Sure, it was breathtaking and big, and there was a lot to do. But once you got beyond that, the whole grandness of it all was such a big inconvenience. It was so easy to get lost. And it was so dangerous. And there were so many untrustworthy people, out to hurt him, or screaming such scandalous things across the streets. Every time he went out on the streets he could practically feel all eyes on him. It was loud. It was unfamiliar. It was wrong. 

But he was here. For Hiyori. He was here so he could hang out with her. He was here so he could impress her. He was here so he could love her. At the time it had seemed like a perfect plan! All he’d had to do was tell a quick lie to his father, and then he’d have gone to the city and wooed Hiyori over. But it didn’t work like that. Now he had no-one to talk to, he was scared, and Hiyori certainly didn’t seem very wooed. 

He’d come to the city despite his distaste of it. But had it really been for selfless reasons? He wasn’t very sure. Because all he felt like right now was a liar and a pervert

Despite his best efforts, Hibiya could not hold back his tears anymore. He tried to rub his eyes, and wipe his sorrows away. But it was no use. Before he knew it, he was practically choking on tears. He was “unloved”, “creepy”, and “boring”, after all. Even if those words had just been said in a dream, he knew they were true.

And, among those things, he was also one thing that the dream Hiyori  _ hadn’t _ listed: A crybaby.


	3. If You Believe In Me I Might Just Wanna Spend Some Time With You Again

Hibiya’s pancakes tasted stale.

He wasn’t sure if it was a lingering bitter feeling from last night tainting his taste, or if he’d just managed to burn the breakfast. But either way, he felt like garbage. His food was tasteless. His head was pounding. He was half asleep. And no wonder! He’d only managed to get a few hours of sleep last night. He’d taken quite a while to fall back asleep, only to be plagued with more nightmare.

Hiyori seemed tired, too, almost. Though Hibiya refused to legitimately believe it. Even as she yawned, only barely focusing on her meal, she looked graceful. Hibiya wished he could have had that kind of prosperity. He was sure he was slouched over in his chair, with bags under his eyes, and an uninterested look on his face. He quickly scooted his chair in, nonchalantly trying to straighten his back as he took another bite of stale pancakes.

“They don’t taste very good.” Hiyori suddenly commented, mouth full, as she finally gave her opinion on his meal. Hibiya flinched, just on reflex. But deep down he knew she was right. This was not one of his proudest achievements. That was what he got for trying to whip up something after another restless night.

Hibiya yawned, rubbing his eyes, before shrugging. “I know. I think I burnt them a little or something.” He bit his lip, nervously staring down at his pancakes. They seemed to stare back. 

“Typical of you.” Hiyori huffed snappily. Although she quickly seemed to fall silent, before shaking her head, and adding on a slightly less offensive comment. “I mean, look at you! You look ready to fall over! No-one can cook that way. Not even you.” Hibiya almost felt his heart flutter for a moment. Was Hiyori calling him a good cook? “ _ Especially  _ not you.” Hibiya’s hopes plummeted. Apparently Hiyori had decided that was too nice.

Hibiya didn’t let it get to him. “...Yeah, you’re right.” He shoved his plate to the side, standing up, and approaching the pantry. He peeked his head in, looking around at all the wonderful ingredients, before shouting to Hiyori. “Do you want some cereal, instead? I think there’s still some Frosted Flakes left in here.”

Hiyori was silent for a moment, mulling that over, before replying with a quick “Are there any Cocoa Puffs? Those are better.” 

Hibiya took another look around the pantry, finally managing to rest his eyes on the boxes of cereal, and noting that Cocoa Puffs were indeed in there. He gave a quiet thanks, before reaching for the brown box of cereal, and bringing it to his chest. He carefully cradled the sugary snack in his arms as he stepped out of the pantry, and closed the door behind him. He then proceeded to approach the fridge, retrieving some milk, and nabbed some bowls from the cabinet, too. 

He poured the cereal first, like any respectable person, before proceeding to cautiously tip the milk in. The second bowl he filled with only cereal. Milk made it too soggy for him. He much prefered it alone, crunchy and tasteful.

He returned to the table, gingerly placing the bowls down. Then he returned to his own seat, beginning to reach for his own bowl.

Hiyori beat him to it. She nabbed his perfect milkless bowl, a satisfied smile on her face. “Thanks, Hibiya! I can’t believe you remembered I like it without the milk!” She genuinely seemed flattered. Now that Hibiya thought about it, she  _ did  _ dislike the milk, didn’t she? She wasn’t trying to mess with him. Sometimes he found himself forgetting little things like that. She never told him things. She probably hadn’t admitted her distaste of milk since they were kids.

Hibiya reluctantly grabbed the other bowl. He didn’t particularly like cereal this way. But he didn’t have the guts, or the heart to tell Hiyori the other one was his. She’d genuinely seemed so pleased. Pleased enough that she’d have torn out his eyes if he told her that was actually for him. And she was already digging into the cereal. So it wasn’t like he could take it now.

“You’re welcome.” He mumbled, using his spoon to scoop up a mouthful of the soggy cereal. He barely managed to mask the disgust on his face. It was wrong. All wrong. The texture was too soft. He couldn’t really taste the cereal. The milk was already turning chocolate. But he merely mustered up all of his willpower, forcing himself to take another bite. He refused to go and pour more milkless cereal. That would force him to admit he hadn’t remembered what Hiyori liked. And he could not do that. He could not disappoint her.

Oh, the things he did for love.

She seemed so peaceful for once, munching on her cereal. Though Hibiya knew at even the slightest comment, greeting, or question she’d return to her snappy, disappointed, angry self. But that was okay. That was just how Hiyori was.

...Or was that just how she was around him? He… Didn’t know, anymore. Maybe for a little bit he’d liked to convince himself that she was headstrong around everyone. But she was even moreso to him. Was it just because he’d known her the longest? Did her insults come with the benefits of being her friend? Or had his dream last night been correct? Perhaps she genuinely did not appreciate his company.

It wasn’t like he could just ask. He couldn’t just question her with a ‘do you hate me?’. It didn’t work like that. The answer couldn’t have been as simple as a yes or a no. And she wouldn’t have answered, anyways. She probably would have scoffed and snorted, commenting on how dumb that inquiry was, offering nothing more. And as such, Hibiya found himself resigned to his fate of not knowing, and decided to ask a much less risky question, as he took another bite of his Cocoa Puffs.

“Y’know, Hiyori. I’ve been thinking...”

“That seems dangeroush. Shtop, before you hurt yourshelf.” She spoke with her mouth full. Perhaps if anyone else had been doing so, Hibiya would have found it absolutely revolting. He was a bit of a clean freak at times, after all. But Hiyori was inclined to do whatever she liked, whether others approved or not. And Hibiya approved, anyways. For she was the one and only Hiyori. She could do what she pleased.

Hibiya huffed a little, his chest feeling rather tight. He didn’t know caused said tightness, though. Was it the way Hiyori snarked at him? Was it some sort of feeling of love? Or was it just crippling anxiety? He wished he knew the answer. Either way, he uncomfortably shuffled, not making eye contact, and instead busying himself with more soggy cereal, before quietly speaking up.

“...I was thinking… Maybe we could do something just us, today? No Mekakushi Dan?” He quietly suggested, practically squeaking as he spoke. “I… I like spending time with them and all. But wasn’t this supposed to be our summer trip? Maybe we could go out and do something, just the two of us?” He was quiet for a moment, practically feeling Hiyori’s gaze burn through him. “...You don’t have to if you don’t want to, though!” He quickly added on, his eyes still glued to the table.

He heard Hiyori snort. Though, quite to his surprise, she did not instantly decline his offer. She opened her mouth to speak, as if to instantly decline. Although no words came out. Instead she sat silent, her mouth agape, deep in thought, like some sort of realization had struck her. She was quiet for a few moments, forehead scrunched, before quietly speaking up.

“Fine, I guess.”

Hibiya nearly choked on his cereal. He gagged, soggy milk cocoa puffs having descended down the wrong pipe, before staring in wonder at the girl across from him. It wasn’t that he was bothered by her response. He just hadn’t actually expected her to take him up on that offer! He’d expected her to harshly decline him, and then life would have returned to normal. He began to feel his heart race in his chest.

She seemed to notice his bafflement. Her head upturned, and let out another unimpressed sigh. “It’s not like I have anything better to do today. The Mekakushi Dan is… Busy.” She drifted off, as if trying to remember something. “I think Danchou got sick. They need to take care of… That.” She paused, looking directly at him. “Don’t think I want to spend the day alone with you or anything, you creep.”

Hibiya felt his heart plummet just a little. So… Hiyori wasn’t spending the day with him out of the kindness of her heart? He was just a plan B? A second, lesser, option? It almost stung. But he quickly reminded himself that he was still getting to spend the day with her, nonetheless. Why did the reasonings matter? It was the opportunity that was truly important. He’d make sure it was the best dang day Hiyori ever had! Then she  _ would  _ want to spend time with him on her own accord! 

He near-instantly jumped to his feet, abandoning his unfinished, unwanted cereal. “Then it’s a plan!” He excitedly agreed, before quickly realizing just how desperate he must have seemed, and lowered his voice. “We can go around the city and see what there is to do. We can like… Go shopping, I guess. And grab some food or something for lunch. And maybe stop by the pa-”

He didn’t manage to finish for that sentence. For he found himself cut off by his own self. A cat had caught his tongue, quite literally. Suddenly he couldn’t help but think of the dreams that had been haunting him for weeks. They only had few things in common; Their gruesome endings, and their initial settings of the park. Even if they were just that: Dreams, he couldn’t dare himself to face them. For, what if he visited the park, and a true tragedy occurred? 

“Actually. No. Let’s not stop by the park.” He suddenly spoke up, looking very pale. 

He expected Hiyori to retort with a ‘why?’, but instead she just nodded and quickly agreed. “Yeah. No way. The park is  _ boring _ . Why would you even  _ suggest _ that?”

Her words were sharp. But deeper down in them, Hibiya couldn’t help but hear some kind of gratitude or relief. He couldn’t quite put his finger on why. But more than anything he was just glad that she didn’t want to go, either. 

There was a very awkward moment of silence, both of them seemingly thinking about parks, until Hibiya decided to end it with a mumbled “Well, I’m done. You can keep eating, but I’m gonna go get dressed.” He smiled to himself as Hiyori gave a slight nod, before fully pushing out his chair, and retreating into the other room to prepare for this… Occasion.

What could it have been called, even? It certainly wasn’t a date, as much as Hibiya wished it was. It was just two people. Alone. Together. For fun. Part of his inner thoughts almost wanted to call it a ‘playdate’, but that was far too childish for an almost-teenager like him, wasn’t it? Maybe a… Get together? Yeah. A get together worked. 

And as such, so excited for his and Hiyori’s get together, Hibiya did not once wish she was peeking in on him as he slipped out of his pajamas, and into something much more suited for casual wear.

\---

Hiyori had to admit. Spending it with Hibiya of all people hadn’t originally been how she’d been intending to use her day.

There were a lot of things you could do with a day. And each and every one of those things was most likely more preferable to spending it with the Amamiya boy. Hibiya tried, for some reason. But his efforts to be entertaining, or even, god forbid, charming, often fell flat on his face. 

There he was though, walking a bit ahead of her. For once he did not seem intimidated of the city. Instead he walked with a skip in his step, occasionally glancing over his shoulder at her, just to make sure she hadn’t  _ vanished _ . Not that she blamed him, much. More than anything, she wished she could disappear right now.

She’d only even agreed to these plans in some kind of spur of the moment thing. He’d asked her to spend the day with him, alone. She’d been so ready to decline. But looking at his sad desperate eyes, she couldn’t have forced herself to, even if her life had depended on it. Last night’s incident had still been weighing heavy on her mind. She’d felt like she’d owed it to him. She’d owed it because she’d been such a bad friend before. As if some boring day out would make up for years of neglect and rudeness that she’d promptly go back to. She’d made up some excuse to spend time with him, because even if he was obnoxious and desperate, she cared for him, and she felt like she at least owed it as penance for the crumpled form of his body in her dreams. 

And as such, she’d fabricated some fib about how Kido was sick, and the Mekakushi Dan was busy, so she could face him without embarrassment. It really was pathetic, huh? She could not even say directly to his face that she wanted to spend time with him, vaguely. She had to make up some excuse. 

Frankly, even if she’d shown him some pity, she didn’t feel much better about herself than she had last night at all.

She tried not to focus on him, and how easily she could have imagined his petite figure sprawled gorily across the ground. Instead she busied herself with the feeling of the hot sun beating down against her skin. Now that she thought about it, beads of sweat were dripping down her neck and forehead, as if her skin itself was a leaky faucet. She brought an arm to her forehead, brushing some droplets aside, but not feeling any more relieved from the humidity.

As if he had read her thoughts, Hibiya suddenly spoke up.

“It sure is hot out, huh?” He asked, not pausing his stride as he spoke. He craned his head towards her for a second, making quick eye contact, but swiftly returned his gaze to looking around the city, attempting to spot any interesting store or sight.

“No shit, Sherlock.” Hiyori muttered, not even bothering to look up at him. Instead she fixated her eyes on the concrete below her feet. In the heat she could practically even feel the cement burning through the soles of her shoes. Despite her apathy against staring at the back of Hibiya’s head, she did quickly correct her harsh wording, adding on a quick. “I can practically feel myself burning up. It’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah. Same.” Hibiya sighed, taking a deep breath. He almost seemed exhausted from the combined strain of walking in the sun. She wouldn’t have been surprised. He was always so easily tired. It was almost kind of funny. “Though I guess that’s just part of summer, huh?”

“I don’t really like the summertime.” Hiyori did not really think before she spoke. Somehow she just found the words exiting her mouth without a second thought. After all, a simple statement like that held no cruel connotations. Yet, despite the casual air of her words, Hibiya stopped in his tracks, utterly  _ frozen  _ upon her words. Not that Hiyori noticed, until she, still staring at the ground, nearly crashed into him.

“What the hell!?” She hissed, stumbling back in shock. “What are you doing!? Keep walking, you idiot!”

_ Now  _ she was looking at him. He had turned around to face her, his lower lip trembling just a little, and all color seeming to have drained from his face. He did not seem to be looking at her, but instead through her. He looked as if he’d seen a ghost. It was almost… Unnerving. He’d been skipping along so happily moments before, and now he looked like he’d been punched in the gut.

“What’s wrong?” She snapped, annoyance still evident in her tone. Yet, underneath that, her voice seemed to shake a little. “Hibiya! What happened!?” She demanded desperately, roughly grabbing his shoulder and shaking him a little.

“I… I… It’s noth-”

**_HONK!_ **   


Suddenly a car rushed nearby on the road, seeming to go far over the speed limit as it went. Hibiya let out a scream. Hiyori felt her blood run cold. It passed beside them in a few seconds, easily, not even coming close to their tiny bodies as it continued on its way down the road. Yet, it still chilled both of them to the bone. Hiyori couldn’t help but keep her eyes glued to it’s retreating bumper, even staring coldly into the horizon long after it had passed out of her line of view. 

It hadn’t even come close to them, yet she felt like she’d been hit by a truck. She could not force herself to move a muscle, or even say a word to the boy standing next to her. Instead all she could do was gape in horror at the road, imagining how easy it was to imagine his form sprawled out across the pavement, broken and bloody. She practically felt a sob wreck her chest, but forced it not to come, refusing to cry over something so petty next to Hibiya. 

She didn’t even realize how long she’d been frozen until she felt Hibiya take her hand, and pull on her arm a little. “C… C’mon, Hiyori, let’s get away from here.” He meekly suggested, his eyes rather wet looking. He was seeming almost paler than before. If Hiyori hadn’t known better, she would have thought he was just as scared of the truck as she was. Perhaps he was. Just certainly not for the same reasons as her.

She quickly yanked her hand away from him, brushing it off in disgust, but did not decline his offer. She didn’t want to have any more close not-close encounters. Instead she curtly nodded, blinking rapidly as she returned her stare to him. She then proceeded to crane her head, looking around, and trying to spot any store they could usher themselves into until they calmed down. 

As her eyes fell to rest on the nearby mall, she decided that was a suitable enough place. And with that decision, she quickly began to approach, stepping further away from the road as she did. Surprisingly enough, even though not a word was exchanged between the two of them, Hibiya followed, his body practically pressed against the sides of other buildings with the distance he had put between himself and the road. And before Hiyori even realized it, she was too, and that was okay. Because even if she felt like a dumbass…

At least she was safe, and Hibiya was, too. Because she cared. More than she ever would have admitted. Her reaction to the traffic told her that much.

\---

Hibiya couldn’t believe he’d been dragged into a “girls aisle” of the mall. Sure, it wasn’t the first, or very likely the last, time he’d been put in this kind of situation. But at the same time, something about having his fragile ‘manly’ ego broken was the slightest bit frustrating. Yet, he did not budge. He reluctantly looked around the aisle, before letting his eyes settle on Hiyori.

Frankly, she didn’t seem much like she wanted to be here, either. Or, even at the mall in general. It just seemed like she’d been in a rush to get somewhere, and in her haste had picked the first place that had come to mind. Not that he blamed her. Something about the open streets, with its cars rushing by down the roads, seemed almost… Threatening. He just… Hadn’t expected her of all people to be frightened by it. She was usually so brave. He did not dare call her irrational, though, fearing her sharp tongue, and finding this perfectly rational in his opinion, actually, with his dreams as of late.

Not that the safety of a shopping mall did much to ease any anxieties his nightmares gave him. Sure, no manslaughter had occurred in shopping malls in his dreams, but if they had taught him anything, any tragedy was possible. And frankly? He expected death by shopping center to appear to him in his sleep, soon enough, if not in real life.

He did not let the humiliation of this all, or the fears in the corners of his mind, deter his mood, though. In fact, even though the ridiculousness of this all, and the car incident from earlier, dampened his spirits just a little, his heart was still practically jumping for joy. Sure, the occasion was not anything special, and they were not doing anything particularly noteworthy. But he was spending the day with Hiyori! On her own accord! And something about that made him feel fuzzy inside. He was glad, even despite his manliness being annihilated, and the fact that he was still near-traumatized from the simple honk of a car.

None of that mattered. Hiyori was there. A few feet from him. Spending time with him. Not reeling in disgust. That was enough to satisfy him. As such, it was almost hard to hide his goofy grin.

There she stood, nearby, casually browsing the shelves. Hibiya couldn’t help his already silly lovestuck smile from widening. In fact, perhaps he found himself staring at her turned back. At the beautiful way her hair was held up. At the simple, but cute and comfortable, shirt she’d decided to wear today. It was breathtaking. He almost managed to lose himself in her, at least, until she turned her head, eyes locking with his. His stare quickly faltered, eyes redirecting themselves to a nearby rack of keychains, as he hastily pretended that he hadn’t even been looking her way. He felt just the slightest bit of warmth flush in his cheeks. Something about the idea of her catching him peeping at her was… Unnerving, to say the least.

Thankfully enough, she did not seem to notice his earlier… Admiring. Instead she held up an item in her hands, a bow of some sort, and tilted her head, just a little. “Do you think this would suit me?” She absentmindedly asked, not seeming very invested in her question. In fact, more than anything, it seemed like she’d already made her decision, and was just asking him for the sake of inclusion. 

He examined the accessory, raising an eyebrow. He had to admit, it was cute. But… Hadn’t she already gotten a bow from this exact store? Yeah. She had. She’d sent him out to grab it, special brand, and all, just a few weeks earlier. He remembered it clearly, because of how much he’d gaped at the money she’d given him to get it. He’d always known she’d been rich. But perhaps he hadn’t realized just how **_rich_ ** rich people were. Either way, he supposed she wasn’t undermining his accomplishment of going to the mall, and buying an embarrassingly cutesy bow, just for her. Maybe girls just needed lots of cute bows. He didn’t know. Females fascinated him.

That was probably why he didn’t have a girlfriend.

Nonetheless, he excitedly nodded, aloofly imagining how it would look in her hair, as he peeped up with a smile. “Of course! I think it would look great!” He commented, perhaps a tad  **_too_ ** dramatically. In his opinion, though, it did not matter what Hiyori donned. She could rock anything. It was not what things she picked out that mattered. It was the fact that she, Hiyori Asahina, owned them, that made them so wonderful. She was astounding. And so was most of her wardrobe.

She groaned “Gross.” Upon his thrilled approval, but did not return the bow to the shelves. Instead she merely gave a snort. Nonetheless, she seemed satisfied, and returned to her shopping. Hibiya returned to his, too, this time not ominously staring at her shoulders, but actually bringing his eyes over to the keychains that he’d used as an excuse. 

Now that he’d had a better look at them, he could also recognize them from his last shopping trip.  He glared. The big, googly eyed, dinosaurs seemed to glare back, with just as much, if not more, hatred held in their huge, misproportioned, lifeless, ungodly eyes.  

He had to admit. If it weren’t for his past experiences with the sickeningly adorable Dinosauria, he would have found them cute. In fact, he would have adored them. As much as he would have denied it, he had a soft spot for cute things. They were right up his alley.

He remembered the last time he’d stopped by this department store. He’d nabbed one, thinking that he’d have been able to give it to Hiyori as a gift. Turns out she didn’t have quite as much of a knack for endearing things as him. She’d laughed at him, and said that she didn’t want it. The keychain had managed to find itself a home eventually, though. As Hibiya had reluctantly handed it over after discovering Konoha had a love for triceratops. 

He still didn’t like Konoha very much. But he had to admit, the tall, calm man was the best person Hibiya knew to give his junk. Konoha seemed quite impressed by everything, almost like a giant bumbling child, in wonder and awe at everything in the world, conveniently enough. Perhaps the saying ‘One man’s trash is another man’s treasure’ should have been changed to ‘Hibiya’s trash is Konoha’s treasure’, in that case.

Lost in his thoughts, Hibiya almost didn’t notice Hiyori speaking up again.

“Oh. Those things?” She commented, seeming rather unimpressed. “Why are you looking at those again? Don’t tell me  _ you _ want one.” She scoffed, sending a wave of nervousness through Hibiya’s chest. Of course he didn’t want one! He’d just been… Glaring at the not-so-innocent prehistoric creatures with the hatred of a Shintaro in a room full of Takanes.  “And if you’re, like, thinking of getting another one of those for me, no thanks. I already told you that kind of ‘cute’ thing is not my thing.” 

Hibiya quickly tore his gaze away from the assortment of colorful extinct animals, and shook his head, trying to defend himself. “Oh! I wasn’t thinking of getting one for either of us. I was just--” He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, Hiyori cutting him off with a surprised look.

“Wait! You’re thinking of getting another one for Konoha, aren’t you?” She asked, respect in her voice for once. Hibiya had to admit, that hadn’t quite been what he was planning, but he nodded, nonetheless. Hiyori’s eyes seemed to light up, and she strutted over to the rack, excitedly looking over the keychains. Hibiya took a nervous step closer to her.

“Oh my god-- That’s so sweet of you, Hibiya. I didn’t even think of him!” Hibiya found himself surprised by that statement. As far as he was concerned, Konoha was all she ever thought about. Nonetheless, though, he felt a wave of pride sweep through him. Finally! In Hiyori’s eyes he’d done something thoughtful and worthy. Even if it had just been a big misunderstanding, he felt rather noble.

He brushed his fingers through his hair, giving a slight smile. “Yeah. I guess it is pretty sweet, huh?” He didn’t quite agree with the adjective, but he appreciated the compliment for what it was. Much to his shock, Hiyori gave a nod, before plucking something off the rack, and turning back to face him.

“Do you think he’d like this?”

On the keychain was not just any disproportionate dinosaur. No. What greeted Hibiya’s eyes was the coolest theropod he’d ever seen: A skateboarding raptor, with sunglasses, and the colorful words of ‘radical’ printed in bold type just above its head. It was either the most epic thing Hibiya had ever seen, or the most ridiculous. Either way, Hibiya found himself nodding in awe. He couldn’t help but think this thing would **_blow Konoha’s mind_ ** .

“I think he’d _ love  _ it.” He agreed, his eyes still utterly enticed by the radicalptor. Now that he thought about it, it probably wasn’t that awesome. But it was still cooler than he’d ever be. And that was enough to impress him.

Hiyori, satisfied by his response, quickly stuffed the keychain into Hibiya’s hands. “Here. Can you hold it?” She asked. “My hands are already full.” All that Hibiya could see in her hands was a bow. And he was sure a shopping cart would have been a lot more convenient. So overall this whole ordeal more or less translated to “Hold this for me because I find it funny, peasant”, but nonetheless he took the colorful theropod, gently handling it as if it were his own child.

“Yeah. I can hold it.” He agreed. Although perhaps that wasn’t completely needed, as he’d already shown his obedience by taking the raptor in his hands. Hiyori gave a curt thanks, showing her back to him. At least, until Hibiya’s voice made her turn her head yet again, as a miraculous, and actually somewhat generous idea popped into his head.

“Wait. Hiyori. Didn’t you say that Kido is sick?” He quietly asked, earning a confused expression from her. She was very silent for a moment, as if she did not know what on earth he was talking about, before realization suddenly dawned in her eyes, and she nodded.

“Yeah.” She confirmed straightforwardly, giving him a skeptical look. “Why do you care?”

Hibiya bit his lip, nervously trailing his fingers through his bangs, and sideyeing the rack of dinosaurs. “Well… I was just thinking, doesn’t she like cute things? Maybe we could get her one, too. To… Uh… Make her feel better.” He nervously chuckled, before paling. “Or is that a stupid idea?”

He had to admit, getting gifts for the strange green haired chick wasn’t the most important thing on his list of priorities, usually. But he’d seen the way Hiyori’s face had lit up earlier upon the assumption that he’d been getting something for Konoha. It had impressed her. Nothing usually impressed her. Or at least, nothing he  _ did _ . It felt like a blessing. And, in general, it made him feel downright good. There was nothing wrong with being selfless, was there? Plus, it was the least he could do to thank her for being miles more helpful than Momo yesterday.

Hiyori blinked, rather stunned. But quickly she agreed. “That’s… A great idea, actually.” She nodded firmly, pacing over to the keychains, and yanking a noticeably less ‘radical’ one, and a remarkably more ‘cute’ one, off. The baby pterodactyl’s impossibly wide googly eyes seemed to stare into him, as if judging every single sin he’d ever committed. Hibiya tried not to flinch at it, as Hiyori spoke up yet again. “Y’know, it’s, like, really sweet of you to think of of her and Konoha like that, actually.”

Hibiya smiled, feeling a surge of pride. “I guess that’s just what I am: Super sweet. The coolest.” He bragged meticulously. Although his vanity was quickly shot down.

“Yeeeeeahhh…  **_No._ ** ” Hiyori snorted, and then, to his surprise, she laughed, just a little. “You’re not that sweet at all. Honestly? This isn’t even like you. I honestly always thought you, like, hated half the people in the Mekakushi Dan.” She drifted off, quietly looking at him. “I guess you’re not as uncool as I thought.” She was silent. “You’re still not cool, though.” Her words were harsh, but the expression on her face was not hostile.

“Gee. Thanks.” Hibiya retorted. Though he did not frown. For once her words did not have a sharp edge to them. She almost seemed… Glad. Her words were cold, but he still felt that same giddy feeling in his heart, not some sense of dejection. “And… It’s not like I hate them. I don’t even  _ dislike _ any of them except for Oba-san and Kano.” He explained, giving her a sideways glance. She squinted at him upon his insult towards Momo, seeming rather unapproving, but he merely continued on. “It’s just… We spend so much time around them… Y’know? They’re fun and all. But… Sometimes it’s nice to do things like this. Just us.” His voice grew quieter as his string of words trailed on. He desperately looked at Hiyori for approval. “...Right?”

She was very quiet, before mumbling a halfhearted “I guess.” 

It was not much. Her words were not overly gratified. But there was a sense of sincerity to them that was often not held in her voice. Hibiya felt a smile creeping at the corners of his lips. “...I mean, we haven’t done anything like this since we were, like… Nine.” Now that he thought about that, that wasn’t even much of an exaggeration. 

Hiyori looked like she was taking a moment to let that sink it. Her smile downturned, although she quickly returned to a neutral expression, rolling her eyes. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. We haven’t really hung out since we were little, huh? Yeah. Yeah. This is fun. I get it.” The sharp edge had returned to her voice. Hibiya couldn’t help but wonder if his words had been misaimed. Perhaps he made that sound more guilt-tripping than he’d intended? 

Hiyori did not let the bother get to her, though, if she were offended. Instead she glanced towards the items she had picked out, and then towards Hibiya. “But I think that’s all we have to do here. I got what I needed.” She huffed. “Let’s, like, get out of this store and do something else, alright?”

Hibiya couldn’t turn that offer down. He was never much of a shopping person, much less someone who enjoyed spending his time buying things like sickeningly adorable keychains and pretty bows. He gave a curt nod. “Yeah. Seems like a plan. I swear. If I have to spend another second in here I’ll explode from embarrassment.”

And with that, the two of them were gone, both having felt a small weight lifted off their shoulders.

\---

Buying icecream was yet another thing Hiyori hadn’t intended to do today. But today was just full of surprises, now wasn’t it?

She walked down the street, taking a quick lick of the milk byproduct, and let out a sigh of relief as she felt the cold, nutty, taste, wash over her tongue. Hibiya trailed beside her instead of above her, now, staring at his icecream cone with some kind of cautious suspicion, like he expected it to leap out at him and kill him. He took incredibly small, wary, licks of some boring flavor, as compared to his friend, who was attacking her icecream with increasing ravenousness. 

“It’s just icecream, y’know. It’s not gonna hurt you.” She offhandedly commented, upon his hesitance, before taking another vicious lap of her snack. It was already beginning to melt in her grasp, both from her tongue, and from the intensity of the sun overhead. It was starting to drip down on her hands, tainting them with the aroma of peanut butter icecream. Not that she minded. The cold feeling of the dairy product against her skin felt cold and refreshing in comparison to the seething rays of the sun. 

Hibiya gave his icecream yet another small lick. “I know. I don’t think it’s gonna hurt me--” He defended himself, shrugging. “It just… Tastes weird.” His, too, already beginning to melt in his hands. Each time the pale green icecream dribbled down onto his skin, he quickly flicked it off by flicking his wrist, or nonchalantly brushing it off with the other hand. He did not seem to be trying very hard to ward off the summer haze, as compared to Hiyori, who had the chilling snack dripping down in between her fingers, and staining the direct area around her mouth.

“What do you mean ‘tastes weird’?” She asked with a snort. “It’s **_icecream_ ** . It tastes great. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Hibiya was the only person she knew who could complain about the taste of motherfucking icecream. He could be so strabe sometimes.

“Well! Of course it tastes great!” Hibiya shrilly piped up, seeming to shrink a little. “It’s just… I’ve never had this flavor before, so it’s weird.” Hiyori gave a sideways glance at his icecream cone, noting that it was light green, with flecks of brown in it.

“You’ve never had mint chocolate chip icecream before?” She skeptically questioned, snorting rather loudly, and taking another lick of her own frozen treat. 

“Well… No.” Hibiya admitted with a defeated sigh.  “...I haven’t had icecream much in general before, though.” He gave a small shrug of his shoulders, falling silent for a moment. “...Dad never really liked me getting this kind of stuff. He always said it wasn’t very healthy. Usually when I could try some, though, I just went with vanilla or chocolate…” He drifted off. “So yeah. This is new.” He gave his icecream another cautious glance.

Hiyori couldn’t help but find herself staring at him. What kind of family was Hibiya growing up with!? First he’d been so oblivious about the Pokemon thing, and now this! As someone who obtained most games she wanted without a synch, and someone who probably could have had a vat of icecream if she so wished, it was almost surreal. It made her pity him. His dad sounded like such an overprotective man, and not in the good way! He was a stick in the mud who was clearly hindering his own son’s enjoyment of life! And the worst part was that Hibiya didn’t even seem  _ bothered  _ by it. He said he couldn’t have icecream on a usual basis like it was a common situation to be in. He didn’t even know what kind of sheltered pathetic life he was leading--

“...How do you stand for that, Hibiya?” She gruffly asked, her icecream licking becoming more and more vicious with her peevishness. 

“...Stand for what?” The boy curiously repeated, taking another small lick of his own. 

Hiyori felt a bit of annoyance rise in her gut. He should have known exactly what she was talking about. But of course he didn’t. He really could be oblivious sometimes, huh? “Your dad treating you like that! He acts like you’re, like, six!”

Hibiya seemed a little surprised, his eyes widening a little. His shoulders gave another defeated shrug. “I dunno. He’s not as bad as he sounds. He can be a little strict sometimes. But I know he just wants to keep me safe.”

“Keep you safe from what, exactly? **_Icecream_ ** ?” Hiyori retorted with an amused look. “Seriously, you are  _ so _ lucky I invited you on this trip. You never would have got to try mint icecream in your entire life, if not for me.” Her tone was not condescending. If anything, it was merely jesting, with a tad bit of pity just barely hidden in it. “You need to tell me everything else your dad doesn’t let you do! We could see how much of it we could do, before summer ends. This is the only chance you’re gonna get to do most of it, I bet.”

Hibiya shot her a nervous glance. “Do you know what he’d do to me, Hiyori?” He asked, his voice cracking a little. Clearly this wasn’t as funny to him as it was to her. “If he found out he’d throw me to the dogs. No joke.” He shuddered. Though, then he fell silent. Giving him a quick glance, Hiyori noted that his forehead was scrunched, as if deep in thought. Suddenly, he spoke up, his voice quieter than before. “Though… Y’know… This might not be my only opportunity to do those things.”

Hiyori sneered. “Are you trying to tell me you’ll ever stop letting your dad boss you around at home?” She rolled her eyes. “As if! No offense, Hibiya, but you’re a little bit of a doormat.”

Hibiya went very quiet. Hiyori couldn’t help but wonder if she’d offended him. Gee. If that got to him, she wasn’t sure why. She’d just been joking. And it wasn’t like she’d never told him that before. She frowned, before Hibiya suddenly piped up again. “No! I don’t mean at home! Jeez, Hiyori! I don’t have a death wish!” He wasn’t looking at her. He anxiously brought his fingers through his hair. “I just meant… Next year. Or something--”   


Hiyori felt her eyebrow raise at that. Next year? Gee. Hibiya sure was getting ahead of himself, wasn’t he? She wasn’t even sure there’d be a city trip for **_herself_ ** next year, much less for Hibiya. This was a one time occasion, of sorts. Sure, she probably could have nabbed herself another trip next year, with how easy it was to get her parents to oblige. But she’d never really thought about it before, or about inviting Hibiya, again. Frankly, the only reason she’d invited him was because she would have felt bad if she’d invited one of her _ real _ friends just to make them haul around her stuff.

Almost instantly, Hiyori felt guilty for even thinking that way.  _ Real _ friends? What was that even supposed to mean? Hibiya... Was her friend, wasn’t he? Sure, he could be obnoxious, and tried too hard, and let people walk all over him, but he was still… Something. Maybe she hadn’t considered him a friend for the longest time. But surely now she could at least call him one. You didn’t just have nightmares about losing someone who wasn’t even your friend!

Hibiya seemed to take the distressed look on her face as a sign that he’d said something wrong. He backed away from her a little, eyes wide. “I mean! Only if you want to! There doesn’t have to be a next year or anything! B… But this has been really fun and I wouldn’t be against it if you wanted to go to the city again! I! I mean! It’s really big and confusing! But I’ve liked it! I’ve liked spending time with you! Not that you have to invite me again or anything if you don’t want--!”

She was about to respond to his blabbering, and at least calm his panic. But as she went to open her mouth, not a word came out, because, quite abruptly, Hibiya managed to trip over his own feet. 

He let out a cry, and a shout of “Crap-!”, before he tumbled down onto the hard concrete. Hiyori couldn’t help but stare in stupefaction as he dazedly laid sprawled on the cement, a small groan escaping his lips, and his icecream, now wasted, on the ground beside him. She gave herself another second to stare, before coming to the realization that he actually could have been hurt, and stepping closer.

“Are you alright!?” She demanded in shock.                                             

He pushed himself onto his knees, just barely suppressing a whimper. Just glancing down at him, she could tell he wasn’t hurt severely. His knees seemed a little scraped (Not even majorly, for fuck’s sake), and his elbow would probably be bruised, from the look of it. But it was nothing to be whimpering about. He gave a curt nod, glancing down at his barely injured knee, and flinching at the slightly red sight, before looking up at her and gulping. “Yeah. I’m fine-- It just hurts, is all--” He was looking at her with wet eyes.

Part of her was almost tempted to call him a ‘big baby’. But she bit her tongue and resisted the urge. Now was not the time. Instead she merely held out her hand, in an offer to help him up. He looked at it blankly for a few whole seconds, as if it were a foreign object, before coming to the startling conclusion that she was actually offering him help. He took her hand, perhaps a bit too tightly, before hauling himself to his feet with a wince.

He did not let go. Perhaps he was still dazed, but it was only after Hiyori tugged her grasp away from his sweaty palms, and gave an exasperated “You can let go now.” That he finally came to his senses and tore his hand away from hers. Hiyori let out a sigh of relief. Even touching the kid was gross enough, much less holding his hand in the summer’s fervor. Hibiya, now no longer occupied with that, took to staring at his knees, looking rather pale in the face.

He really was a paranoid maniac, wasn’t he? Hiyori huffed at his absurdity. “It’s not that bad, Hibiya. You just got a little scrape.” She informed, crossing her arms in disbelief. 

“It hurts, though.” The other child meekly commented, biting his lip. 

Hiyori shook her head, refusing to believe his exaggerations. “I’ve gotten scrapes  _ way _ worse than that. Grow up.” Her voice was sharp in her exhaustion. “If it really bothers you that much we can clean it up when you get home. In fact, since you probably won’t stop worrying otherwise, we’ll even put a nice little bandaid on your booboo.” There was an edge to her tone.

Hibiya didn’t seem to catch it, though. Because instead of looking even a bit offended, he nodded quietly. “That would be nice.” Hiyori rolled her eyes yet again. Sometimes she just couldn’t believe Hibiya. How old was he, again? Begging for bandaids and crying over a scraped knee?

Nonetheless, Hibiya, now slightly relieved from his knee problems, stopped staring at the minor injury. Instead, Hiyori watched his gaze travel over to where his icecream cone lay defeated on the concrete, far too filthy and melted to eat now. He almost seemed to deflate, his shoulders lowering. 

“Darn.”

Darn was putting it lightly. A perfectly good icecream had just been wasted. In Hiyori’s opinion that was at least worth a few ‘damns’. But Hibiya always had a clean mouth, hadn’t he? Sometimes it was almost astounding. It was like he washed his mouth out with soap every morning and night. Hiyori couldn’t tell if that was a respectable feat, or just downright humiliating. 

Steering her thoughts away from Hibiya’s ‘purity’, she glanced over at him, and his crestfallen expression. He was staring at the icecream as if he’d lost a dear loved one. And she did not blame him. Judging from what he’d said about his home situation, icecream was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him. She almost felt bad. There wasn’t much she could do, though. The city was huge, and even she didn’t know her way around. There was no way she could find the icecream vendor again. Dwelling on it was pointless.

At least, that was what she thought, until she felt something cold drip against the side of her hand. It was only then, rather suddenly, that an idea of sorts came to mind. She held out her half melted icecream, looking at him with glare that seemed to say ‘take it’. “You can have the rest of mine, if you want.” She admitted, defeated.

Hibiya stared, his mouth agape, as if he were trying to process that sentence, until, finally, he sputtered out a bewildered “N-No way!” His jaw was looking ready to drop off his head altogether. “I… I can’t believe you’re offering me something, Hiyori.” He looked ready to cry from happiness. Hiyori couldn’t help but snort. He really was overemotional, wasn’t he? “But no.  _ No way _ .” Hiyori froze, her thoughts of Hibiya’s crybaby tenancies dropping. Wait! No way? What was that supposed to mean?

“I-I mean! I-I-I’m really glad!” He stuttered, quickly trying to defend himself, face bright pink. “B-But it’s like half  _ melted!  _ A… And I bet your spit is all over it. I can’t take that! It’s  _ unsanitary! _ ” 

_ Oh. _ **_Oh._ **

Hiyori glanced down at her half-mauled icecream, and kind of saw his point. If it had been her, she wouldn’t have turned down free icecream. But for a clean freak like Hibiya? It must have seemed like the grossest thing in the world. She gave him a quick nod, before pulling her hand back, and bringing her icecream up to her own mouth. “Suit yourself, then. More for me.” She willingly remarked, before taking another huge lick.  

Hibiya didn’t seem very jealous. Instead he just brushed himself off, barely masking the flattered-yet-absolutely-repulsed look on his face. Hiyori, satisfied with his stick-in-the-mud-iness, resumed walking, quickly finishing her icecream as she did so.

Hibiya followed, limping just a little as he did so. He seemed to wince a little each time his knee bent, grimacing and gulping. Hiyori couldn’t help but roll her eyes. He’d never felt real physical pain before, had he? A little booboo wasn’t going to kill him. Nonetheless, she did not comment on his faintheartedness, and instead walked on silently. Now that her icecream was gone, she could yet again feel the scorching rays of the sun beating down on her skin.

Finally, after almost a whole minute of silence, it was Hibiya who finally spoke up, staring intently at his feet as he opened his mouth.

“Y’know… You’re different too.”

Hiyori cocked an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She skeptically asked, shooting him a sideways glance. He seemed to shy away a little, embarrassed by his own words. His voice was quieter when he finally had the guts to speak up again.

“In the department store you said I was… Different, thinking of the Mekakushi Dan and all.” He drifted off, finally tearing his gaze away from his sandals, and giving her a wistful look. “...But you’re different, too. Offering me your icecream. You never would have done that back home. But you did it here.”

Hiyori mulled that over. He was… Right, wasn’t he? At home, back in the country, with the mindset she’d been in, she wouldn’t have been spending time with him at all. And if he had dropped his icecream there, she would have laughed at him and walked it off. Something here was different, though. Maybe it was the dreams. Maybe it was the friendly atmosphere of the city. Maybe it was something within her very self resurfacing. No matter the cause, something here was rekindling their kindness. That couldn’t be denied.

She didn’t say any of that aloud, though. Instead she snickered, and suggested “It’s probably just the heat getting to our heads.”

Hibiya then fell silent, before shrugging and muttering a dejected “I guess.” He opened his mouth, as if to say something else, but fell silent, as if he decided not to last moment.

Hiyori blinked. “It’s a joke, genius.” She made sure to remark, gently butting her elbow into his ribs. Either he really was as fragile and panicked as she was assuming, or she was a hell of a lot stronger than she remembered, because he winced and shied away. 

“I-I know!” He made sure to clarify. Sweat was dripping down his forehead. Although whether it was from the heat or from his nervousness wasn’t clear to Hiyori. Sometimes it was a bit hard to tell with an anxious clammy kid like him. 

“Well you seemed like you didn’t, okay?” Hiyori snapped. Despite the fact that she was rolling her eyes for the millionth time this afternoon, a smirk was on her face. She felt… Satisfied. Even if Hibiya was a bit of a dumbass, he was admittedly a fun dumbass to spend time with. She glanced over at him, and he seemed to smile back. Despite the joke clearly flying over his head, and his scramble to recover his esteem, he seemed… Happy, to say the least. He was beaming at her. 

Hiyori glanced at the shopping bag slung over his shoulder, and thought about how much certain members of the Dan would appreciate their contents. She couldn’t wait to see their reactions. She still tasted the vague flavor of peanut butter icecream in her mouth. Hot beads of sweat dripped down her neck, but they didn’t bother her. Usually she hated the weather of summer, but for once it felt like that was nothing compared to everything else going on on this day.

...And hey, usually she hated hanging out with ridiculous, embarrassing, Mr. Limps Over A Booboo, too. But today had actually been pretty damn awesome.

Maybe, just maybe, something had changed in her life, or her perspective, or her heart. She didn’t know. Either way, she found herself genuinely smiling as she and a  _ friend _ trailed home.


	4. I Don’t Sleep Enough - And I Know We Don’t Talk As Much

Hibiya couldn’t catch a break, could he?

He’d had what he could only imagine would be the best day of his entire summer. He’d spent time alone with Hiyori, the love of his life, and nothing had gone wrong! No-one had gotten killed! He hadn’t managed to offend her or piss her off last minute! He’d even gotten  _ icecream! _  It had been wonderful!

Couldn’t he have just one truly happy day like that?

Apparently not.

The cat was staring him down, it’s eyes skeptical and harsh. It’s tail flicked once as he glared back, gritting his teeth and feeling hatred boil in his gut. Crows flew overhead, their harsh ‘caws’ burning into his ears. Cicadas chirped, their chitters seeming to grow louder and louder, until they were a deafening chorus. Stop signs and warnings littered the place in some sort of cruel irony, as if they knew what was about to unfold: What always unfolded.

He glared at it, feeling hostility burn in his gut. He was sick of this.  _ It wasn’t real!  _ So why did it feel like it was? And why wouldn’t it leave him alone!? He wanted answers. He wanted it to end. The cat seemed to smirk at his petty staring, eyes amused, and a faint purring sound emitting from its direction. He glowered even more, just upon hearing the noise.

“Damn you, cat.” He whispered, his teeth clenched. It was the strongest language he’d ever used. But it was for good reason. Usually he did not like to use such foul terminology. But this monster didn’t deserve anything else. He shuddered, feeling his shoulders slowly rise and drop with his heavy breathing. “Damn you.” He repeated, louder, taking a cautious step towards the small black feline. 

It was only upon hearing a harsh ‘hmph’ that he remembered that the dream Hiyori was there. He stopped in his tracks, eyes shooting over to her. She stood stiff, her posture rigid, and her eyes cold. “What’s that even supposed to _ mean _ ?” She snapped, arms crossed defensively over her chest.

“I… Uh… Wasn’t talking to you.” Hibiya clarified, gulping. That did not seem to ease her harshness. If anything, she only looked at him with an icier gaze. In a weird way, she didn’t look anything like Hiyori. Her face, features, and clothes remained the same. But at the same time, her eyes almost seemed lifeless. Her expression carried so much hatred that Hibiya could only wonder if this was really the same girl who had been offering him icecream earlier.

...Could this cruel callous person really be the same one who had treated him with such earnest honesty today? Something deep inside of him knew it was a dream. It had to be. It always was. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but doubt that there was no point to this. After all, death and cats aside… Wasn’t even the Hiyori in the dream more realistic than the one he’d spent the day with? That was how she always was. 

It almost made him feel resentful. He’d done everything for her, yet she’d treated him like garbage for so long! Was _ one day _ supposed to make up for that? After years of neglect, and outright bullying? It was always ‘Hibiya do this’ or ‘Hibiya do that’! It was always ‘idiots’ and ‘creep’s. How could the Hiyori who’d taken him out for icecream even be _ real _ ? She never treated him like that! For all he cared, maybe this  _ was _ the reality, and maybe the summer vacation with the love of his life was just a bitter dream, something he’d never really obtain!

He shuddered, biting down and gritting his teeth. He could feel the chilly gaze of the fake(?) Hiyori and the cat practically piercing through his skin. But it only made the ember of rage in him spark hotter. He couldn’t tell if he was shaking anymore from anger, fear, or the surreality of it all.

He shot a quick look at the dream Hiyori, remembering what kind of situation he was in, and trying to take a deep breath. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. His ears were ringing. His breaths came out gaspy and uneven. Yet, despite all that, and despite the rage boiling in his chest, he could not make himself glare. Looking at that face, even fabricated, and staring at him like he was the scum of the earth, he could not make himself hate it. Not even a little.

He still loved it. Her fiery, piercing, yet beautiful, dark eyes. The way her pigtails flowed behind her sharp, proud, shoulders. The way her lips looked when they curled downwards, casting an enchantment of both something terrifying, and something utterly breathtaking. The most stunning person he’d ever seen.

Yet, there was something more. He could still remember when that face had a younger vibe to it, cheeks even more childlike, and clumps of hair messily tied up in shorter pigtails. He could vividly recall traversing the outdoors with that face, her more excited than he. He remembered the way that she hadn’t been afraid of anything. The rough and tumble way she’d charge headfirst into anything. The time she’d forced him to wade in the pond for fish. And the time she’d pressured him into climbing a tree, only for him to end up with a broken arm. 

Yeah. No way. He wasn’t sure if it was lust or love. But he couldn’t hate that face. Not if his life had depended on it.

And maybe… It did, in this demented world. He didn’t know. 

His gaze softened. Hers only seemed to harden in disgust. But at the same time, Hibiya could not bring himself to be hurt by the fire in her eyes. After all, it was the courage he respected so much. It was that flame that she’d always had, from the day he’d first met her, to now, even in this constant nightmare. It was the spark that made her not afraid of anything. It was the courage that made her unafraid to stand up for herself. It hadn’t changed at all. That valor she’d had as a child had been channeled into something else entirely over time. 

And…That was alright. Because she wasn’t a kid, anymore. And neither was Hibiya, was he?

He recalled how just a few days ago, Kido had said that that kind of attitude she had would get her killed. He could still remember how much those words had shaken him up. He’d hastily tried to make a claim that he would have defended her from any danger. But what was that supposed to mean? Even in his own dreams he could not keep her safe from danger.

...Could he?

He did not get more time to dwell on those thoughts, as ‘Hiyori’s’ eyes finally came to rest on the cat. As they did every time. She blinked, taking a step towards the feline. It seemed electrified by her movements, hopping onto it’s feet, and ever-so-slowly stepping backwards. Hiyori followed, enticed. Hibiya knew better. He could see she rabbit by the fox’s den. Or… The mouse wandering into the cat’s trap, more accurately. He knew it was only a matter of time.

He could envision the screech of tires, and the way her blood would smear across the concrete, her tiny body crushed and tossed aside like a child’s toy. There was nothing he could do, though. Nothing at all. He’d tried it all. He’d relive this nightmare a hundred times. A thousand. A million. 

Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead. It was only then he realized the true humidity of this place. That was the one thing it got right about the city. The one thing it got right about summer, in general. He remembered Hiyori, the real Hiyori’s, words, only earlier today. She didn’t like the summer very much, did she? He supposed he didn’t, either. Not after this. Never again.

The cat was still stepping backwards, a glint in it’s eyes. Hiyori followed, as if she was a puppet, being pulled by a string. Hibiya watched her intently, his eyes glued to her, but his legs feeling more like putty, than ready to move. For he may have observed her with the intensity of a hawk, but he was really just a deer in the headlights.

Well, she was. He was the horrified onlooker.

The summer heat was still throbbing, seeming to burn him up. He could hear the cicadas chant, an ominous funeral tune. The crows screamed louder overhead, as if they knew what was about to occur. Sweat trickled down his back.

She’d been lured onto the road by now, her sandals clicking against the concrete. The cat had halted, situating itself just beyond the edge of the street, contemplating her with a fierce intensity. Hibiya knew it was just a few more steps, now. A few more steps before the car came into view, and brought with it the grief and bloodshed it always did. He couldn’t take it. He wouldn’t. He was sweating even more profusely, now. Though he could not tell if it was from the sun or from the dread, anymore. He felt just about ready to throw up.

**_“I don’t really like the summer.”_ **

He didn’t really know where the sudden outburst came from. In fact, it took him a few moments to realize that the words had in fact exited his own mouth. His panic had merely made him desperate to shout anything. Anything that would catch her attention. Anything that would prolong the inevitable. And perhaps they had, for Hiyori paused midstep, turning her head to look at him quizzically. 

“What?”

“...I don’t really like the summer.” Hibiya repeated, taking a shaky gulp. He hated being put on the spot like this. It felt as if a million eyes were glued to him, although merely one pair rested on him. “...It’s too hot. And sweaty. And unpredictable.”He drifted off. “I always thought I liked summer, anyways, But I don’t think I do, anymore. I… Was always told that summer was supposed to be full of possibilities. That summer was freedom. That summer was romantic. But honestly?” The dream Hiyori’s gaze felt like a million needles pricking his skin. “...Now I think it’s just kind of scary.”

Hiyori’s eyebrows were knit. But she did not say a word, merely blinked at him in skeptical disbelief. 

“I don’t think I’d have any other kind of summer, though.” Hibiya continued, barely understanding the words coming out of his own mouth, anymore. He couldn’t tell if he was stalling, or if this was something from deeper in his heart, anymore. “Like… What’s a free summer, or a romantic summer, even supposed to be like? Do those even exist?” Certainly not for him. “...But a scary summer? I think you learn a lot. I know I have. Even if I’m scared out of my mind.”

Hiyori huffed. “Scared? Of what?”

“...Lots of things. Scared of cars. And scared of humiliation. And scared of construction sites. And scared of talking to girls. Scared of cats. Scared of being in love. Scared of heights. And scared of falling asleep.” His legs weren’t feeling like jello anymore. Suddenly his whole body felt full of resolve. He could see headlights approaching over the horizon. His mind was suddenly churning as he spoke. “And…” He fell very silent, taking a firm step forward.

Hiyori blinked. “And..?”

Hibiya didn’t speak. He couldn’t bring himself to. Instead he took another small step, trying to ease his shaking body. He could see the headlights growing brighter, revealing the swiftly approaching truck with them. His legs began to shake again. He felt lightheaded. But he did not stop his march. If anything, he continued it with more resolve.

He knew what he had to do. The one solution he’d never thought of. All this time he’d been looking for a way to save her without sacrifice. All this time he’d been determined for a way to show her how much he cared, without getting himself hurt. But that wasn’t how it worked. That wasn’t how love worked. That wasn’t how life worked. He’d learned that by now. There was no point in getting bitter or anxious over it. The most he could do was hope it meant something.

For a second he briefly wondered, yet again, if this world was the real one. Maybe the icecream, and the Mekakushi Dan, and the keychains, and the milky cereal were all a part of his imagination. He didn’t know. But he was still ready.

“And… I’m really scared of this.”

Then, there it was. The light was blinding by now. The cicadas were screeching in anticipation. A loud honk echoed throughout the haze of his dream. He made a swift bound forward, barreling into Hiyori, and shoving himself into her place. He did not even have a chance to crash into the ground. The truck found its way to his body, first. 

Pain overtook him. He could not stifle his scream. It was the worst thing he’d ever felt. Worse than a million scraped knees combined. But it was over in an instant. And then, there he was, flung to the side, his own body tossed out, like a ragdoll. The pain did not halt. If anything, it only grew worse. The sickening smell of blood overtook his nostrils. He could not even hear the cicadas anymore, over the ringing of his own ears. His vision was blurred and smeared.

But even as Hiyori darted over to him, eyes wide, and begging him to be okay, he could not bring himself to regret it. He merely forced a wide, pained, smile, as his vision began to darken. He could not even bring himself to tell her how much he loved her. Wouldn’t that only make the hurt grow worse? Instead, he opened his mouth, to whisper to the one creature he wasn’t even sure was there.

**_“Screw you, cat."_ **

And as the darkness overtook his sight, and Hiyori screamed louder and louder, his smile did not falter.

He’d won.

\---

Hibiya woke up surprisingly calm.

He did not scream. He did not cry. Instead he took shaky breaths, in and out, reminding himself that it was not real; That he was okay. And even so, how he’d triumphed, anyways. He blinked, glancing around the dark room, and letting out another shuddery breath as he fought tears away from his eyes.

He quietly stretched his arms and legs, as if to check that they still worked. No pain overtook him. His body merely obeyed, arms stretching above his head, and legs straightening out the sheets. He could not help but let out a silent sigh of relief. He really was okay. This was the real world. He’d be alright. He hadn’t been hit by a car.

...He couldn’t help but wonder what he’d been thinking. Jumping in front of a car? It had been a heat of the moment decision, but an incredibly stupid one, nonetheless. At the time, he’d had his suspicions about the reality of the dream world. What if it really had been real? He would have been dead right now!

Despite all that, he did not feel very regretful. He’d done it for a good reason, after all. And, in fact, after a second of thought, he decided that he would have done that anyways, even if it was real. After all, even if he had ended up dead, at least it was so save Hiyori’s life.

Jeez. Sometimes it was ridiculous what he’d have done for love.

Or… What he was pretty sure was love. He wasn’t a hundred percent certain anymore. Was love letting someone have your cereal, and jumping in front of speeding trucks? Or was love something else? Did he have it all wrong? Could love even still qualify as love if he still had hateful spiteful thoughts like the ones in his dreams?

He didn’t know. But either way, he’d still have done it. Whether it was stupid or not, or love or not. He’d have done it for Hiyori.

His thoughts now having drifted to her, he couldn’t help but let paranoid fears prick at the edge of his mind. He wondered if she was alright. If the real one was. He knew she was, deep down. But at the same time, he could not prevent himself from being anxious. He’d seen her die so many times, in the dreams, at least. What if something had happened to the real one when he’d been asleep?

It was not a pleasant thought. It made his stomach churn. He wished there was a way to put his foreboding to ease. But it wasn’t like he could just actually check up on her. He couldn’t just enter her room in the middle of the night, with the excuse of ‘I had a nightmare, and I wanted to see if you were okay’. She’d have scoffed at him. She would have found it revolting, even; Presumed it was some sort of attempt on his part to spend even more time with her.

But it wasn’t like that! He was just scared. Was there really anything so wrong with that?

If only there had been a way to see her, without actually having to be there.

Hibiya couldn’t help but scoff at himself. What kind of thoughts were those? What was he even thinking? It wasn’t like he could put a bunch of cameras in her room. He didn’t  _ want  _ to. That was too far, even for him. He rubbed his temples, embarrassed by even having that thought.

That was when his vision shifted.

He had to do a double take, just upon the sight. For there she was. He could see her so clearly. She sat in the dark of her own room, curled up on her bed, Her face seemed silhouetted in the dark, chin pressed against her knees. She was shuddering a little, her tiny body shaking like a leaf. It almost looked as if she were  _ crying _ . 

Hibiya’s blood ran cold, and he desperately grasped around him, fingers clutching tightly around his pillow. Now it was his turn to shudder. He was certain he was in his own room. He could feel it, right there, with that pillow. He only slept with one. Hiyori, on the other hand, had an awful habit of sleeping with two or three. He’d always wondered how it did not strain her neck. He could see it right there, behind her, in his sight, anyways. Three pillows, piled up, as per the norm.

So how on earth was he seeing her if he wasn’t in there!?

His mind began to race. What was this? Some sort of ridiculous voodoo magic? Panic was rising in his chest. If this was some kind of joke, it wasn’t funny. He shut his eyes, desperate to block out the absurdity of it all, and the vision of Hiyori’s weeping. He merely sat there, for what felt like hours, his eyelids shut tight, and his nails still digging into the fabric of his pillow.

Finally, upon opening his eyes, Hibiya was yet again greeted with the familiar sight of his own room. He let out another shuddery breath. He did not understand. What had he just  _ done _ ? Was that some kind of clairvoyance? Or was he still dreaming? 

His eyelids fluttered, but nothing of significance happened. No. He wasn’t dreaming. He could not force himself to wake. 

He shivered. This was so… Absurd. But he’d have to get answers later. For now there were more important matters. He slid out of bed, and got to his feet. He began to walk towards the door, though hesitated, before he got a chance to wrap his fingers around the knob.

Was this really such a good idea? He had no way of confirming whether what he’d seen was real or not. He was just going on gut instinct. What happened if he left this room to check on Hiyori, only to find that she was just fine? What if he woke her up? What if he angered her? What if he embarrassed himself beyond compare, and she stopped treating him with that kindness she’d shown him today?

Hibiya turned the knob, and stepped into the dark hallway, anyways.

As scared as he was, he’d seen Hiyori crying. If she truly was, then she needed someone, right? He’d never have forgiven himself if she was actually hurt, and he’d just kept on sleeping. He had to make sure, despite the risks.

And hey. It wasn’t like he hadn’t already faced his fears tonight.

\---

Hiyori Asahina had a reputation to keep up.

She was not a weak person, that much was fact, not reputation. Perhaps one would have assumed she’d had an easy life, solely by looking at her mother and father’s wealth. And maybe she’d always had an easy life, compared to some. But, that was not to say she’d never faced hardships. Hiyori had faced a lot of things, actually. She’d faced people staring at her in the school hallways, making their perverted comments. She’d faced drifting apart from a childhood friend. She’d faced harassment, even. 

And perhaps she’d been made all the stronger  _ because  _ of that. She’d learned how to deal with people: How to scare the people you didn’t want away. Some would have called her cruel or vicious. She’d even heard accusations of ‘bitch’ or ‘slut’ before. But she’d learned how to shrug that kind of thing off, and return their stares with even more vile insults. For she was cold. She was apathetic. She was firm. It was not even a facade. It was who she was, and how she survived.

Which is perhaps why finding herself sobbing, here in the dead of night, was such an insult to her. Breaking an act was bad enough, but breaking such a vital part of who she was? It was almost a disgrace. She _ never _ cried. Yet, here she was, her chin pressed against her knee, and quiet sobs escaping her mouth.

And, as if her night couldn’t get any worse, that’s when  **_he_ ** had to enter.

The creak of the door alerted Hiyori’s senses. She looked up, only to find her eyes locked with Hibiya’s. She froze, unable to move, as she met his gaze. It was a shame, an insult, to be seen like this: Nothing like the powerful aura she tended to radiate. Even in the dark she could see his lips turn downward into a frown. His eyes almost seemed red as compared to the darkness of the room.

She tore her eyes away from him, shakily gulping. She could only hope he wouldn’t see her tears through the dead of night. She was almost tempted to raise her hand, and wipe her eyes, but decided that wasn’t very auspicious. Instead she sat, very still, praying that he would not discern her wet cheeks and puffy eyes. She was about to speak up, desperate that her voice would not crack, as she asked him what he wanted. But he beat her to opening his mouth.

“...Are you alright?”

It was a voice of genuine concern. But at the same time, Hiyori could not help but prickle with irritation. “What do you think, idiot?” She snapped, her voice edgy. She heard Hibiya take a step back. Hiyori felt some sort of shame wash over her. “Listen. Don’t take that the wrong way-- Okay?” She tiredly commanded, finally meeting his eyes yet again. “I just…” She drifted off, looking for the right words. “No. I’m not okay,  _ alright? _ ” She defensively admitted

He blinked. Her stomach seemed to turn. She knew what he was going to ask next: ‘Why?’. And how on earth was she supposed to explain that!? She couldn’t just admit that she was crying! She couldn’t just admit that she’d had a stupid nightmare! That she’d dreamt of him dying.  That this wasn’t the first time! That his words before he’d done so had shaken her to her very core!

Hibiya did not ask, though. Instead he merely blinked at her. He was very quiet for a moment, eyes locked with hers. “I’ll be right back--” He excused himself, taking a few steps back. “I… It’ll be alright, okay? You’ll be okay.” And then with that, he was gone. Hiyori could not help but offhandedly wonder what he was doing. Her questions were answered when he returned, something steaming in hand.

A delicious smell wafted throughout the room.

He silently approached her, holding out a cup of something. She shakily took it in hand, observing it, before giving it a cautious sniff. Something chocolatey overwhelmed her senses. She gave him a skeptical look, eyebrows knit.

“Hot chocolate?”

Hibiya was silent for a moment, as if mulling over what to say. Finally, he spoke up with a meek “My dad always makes me tea when I’m feeling bad. But I didn’t remember how to make tea, so I made hot chocolate instead.” He fell silent. Even through the dark, Hiyori could feel him staring at her. “You like hot chocolate, right?”

She gave it a cautious sip. It was hot, but not incredibly so. The sweet taste felt good on her tongue. Her hands still shook as she lowered the cup, but her eyes no longer felt wet as she looked up at him. “Y...Yeah.” She merely responded, internally cringing at the falter in her voice. “I do. It’s… Good.” She raised the drink to her lips again, taking another sip. It burnt her tongue, but in comparison to anything else as of late, it was a welcome pain. 

Hibiya quietly nodded, but did not speak as he watched her. They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, Hiyori silently bringing the drink to her lips.

Finally, Hibiya shattered the silence.

“Can I… Uh… Sit down?”

He was staring at her pleadingly. She hesitated, before scooting over, making just  _ barely _ enough room on the bed for the small boy. She gave a disinterested shrug of her shoulders. “Fine. But you’re not getting any of my pillows.” She bargained, patting the sheets next to her. The dream Hibiya’s words seemed to ring in her ears as he stepped closer. And, as such, she made sure to also give a quick warning of “And  _ don’t  _ make it weird.”

“I won’t.” Hibiya got onto the bed, settling for the cramped space that she was giving him. Only now that he was closer, Hiyori noticed he had a mug of cocoa snugly in his hands, too. He was staring down at it. He hadn’t appeared to have taken any sips yet, as compared to Hiyori, who’d already drank a sizeable portion of the glass. He must have been too preoccupied with taking care of her to pay attention to his own cup. Typical Hibiya.

Finally, he took a tentative sip. He reflexively seemed to flinch at the warmth. Hiyori snorted. His eyes shot in her direction, and his muscles tensed as he tried to make up some excuse. “Jeez. I really made it hot, huh? I should have given it a bit more time to cool down.” He nervously chuckled.

“Not really.” Hiyori retorted. As to prove her point, she took a gulp of the sugary drink. “You’re just a weenie.” 

Hibiya deflated, shoulders sinking, and eyes shooting downward. Hiyori couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “That’s not a bad thing, y’know.” She explained, pausing to take a sip of her drink. “I’m not, like, making fun of you. I’m just stating the facts.”

“I-I know that!” Hibiya quickly squalled, voice cracking a little. Hiyori could only presume he was bluffing, from his panicked reaction, but did not voice that suspicion aloud. Instead she let silence overtake the room again, omitting the sound of their drinking.

And that silence was welcome. As loud and unruly of a person as Hiyori could be, sometimes in moments like this, just the quiet was a gratifying presence. Her breathing seemed to slow as she sat. Though, whether is was the presence of a friend that calmed her nerves, or the warm feeling of the hot cocoa, was something she did not know. Either way, she could not prevent herself from sending silent glances at Hibiya, an unspoken thank you.

Finally, he turned to her. It was rather hard not to note the hot chocolate moustache on his lip (which was delightfully ironic, considering his aversion to the ‘hotness’), but she did not point it out, as per knowing of his antsiness, and seeing the rather serious expression on his face. It was hard to read his mood with the absence of light, but it appeared he was deep in thought. 

“You… Don’t need to tell me, if you don’t want. But… If it’s still bothering you, you can… Uh… Always talk to me about what got you so worked up.” Just upon his own words, he instantly seemed to shrink. “But! I mean! I’m not pressuring you or anything! I… I just want to be able to help, y’know?”

Hiyori was almost tempted to pour her scalding hot chocolate on him. And, it was just barely shreds of self restraint that prevented her from doing so. “You already helped, idiot.” She pointed out, tapping her nail against the side of the mug (as opposed to dumping the entire cup of hot cocoa on Hibiya’s groin as a gentle reminder.) “ _ This  _ helped.” And it was not a lie. She felt tons better, her breathing even, and her eyes dry. “Though, if it really bothers you so much, it was just a stupid dream.” Stupid was one way to put it. But perhaps outright unnerving would have suited the mood of it better.

Hibiya stiffened upon her words, suddenly resembling a statue of some sort more than he seemed to resemble a living, moving, human boy. His eyes widened as he stared her down with some intensity she’d never seen before. She could not help but find his shock uneasy, the way his breathing suddenly seemed very labored, and the true, primal, panic in his expression.

“W… What kind of dreams?” He apprehensively mumbled, his voice abruptly very quiet. Something about the dread in his voice made Hiyori shudder a little. Sure, the dreams really had been bad enough to warrant that kind of reaction; She’d woke up in a cold sobbing sweat, after all. But there was no way on earth that Hibiya could have known that. Still, as obsessed as Hibiya could be sometimes, she doubted that kind of utter horror came from just pure worry.

She gave him a skeptical look. She wasn’t particularly sure if talking about this was a good idea. As calmed as she was now, thinking of Hibiya’s bloody crumpled body still sent shivers down her spine. And she could not bare to repeat the dream Hibiya’s words. She did not want to find out that they were true. She was hoping and praying with all her might. Still, she doubted leaving him on edge like this was a good idea, and something deep inside of her blindly wished that telling him about the dreams would ward them away.

Her fingers nervously clutched the sheets as she spoke. “Well… It started off in this, like, version of the city. It was really bright. And you were there.” Her voice was surprisingly quiet for once. Hibiya was staring her down. It was hard to read his expression with the lights turned off, but it was something intense. “And we were just talking, like normal, I guess. I… Think we were talking about the summer.” She fell quiet, hesitating. 

“Then what?” Hibiya’s voice was not forceful, but decidedly more anxious than when he’d first asked her what had upset her. She had a strange feeling he was not going to let her omit the rest of the story. Something about this was deadly important. 

“You told me you had something to tell me. Something important. And then you got up. And ran off. So of course I followed. It was weird how you just sprinted off like that, but since it was something important, I figured you just wanted to show me something.” She paused. “Either that, or it was just dream logic. I don’t know.”

Hibiya gave a quiet comprehending nod. He did not speak, though. He was surprisingly quiet for his embarrassing loudmouth self. He was anxiously fidgeting, as if the gears inside of his head were turning at a ludicrous rate.

“And… You were a couple of feet in front of me. You were running pretty fast, but I could keep up the pace.  You were approaching a construction site of some sort. I was getting, like, a little concerned, but I didn’t tell you to stop. I should have, Hibiya.  _ I should have. _ ” She took a shaky gulp, bracing herself for the next part. “...Because then I heard a crash, and something was falling. I hardly even comprehended it. But the next thing I knew, you were a crumpled heap on the ground, blood everywhere, and a pole sticking through your stomach.” 

Hibiya blinked, but still did not speak up. He merely gave a nod, as if to demonstrate that he was still listening. Hiyori could feel wetness prickling at her eyes again, but forced them away. She would not allow herself to show weakness again. She blinked rapidly, trying not to overthink the rest of the story as it escaped her mouth.

“So of course I ran over. I was panicking. I was worried as _ hell _ . I… I thought you were dead.” Her voice faltered. “And do you know what you did, Hibiya?”

Hibiya was very quiet, peeping up with a single “What?”

“You spoke. You should have been dead. You should have been coughing up blood. But you weren’t. You spoke with as clear of a voice as ever. And… You know what you told me? You said… ‘That exactly what I saw was what I was gonna get’.” Hiyori drifted off. She could feel Hibiya’s eyes glued to her. “I… I don’t know what that even means, bu-” She did not get to finish her sentence.

The next thing she knew, Hibiya had wrapped his arms around her in one swift motion, shakily squeezing her. It took a moment to comprehend the action, but as soon as it registered in Hiyori’s mind, she instinctively pulled away. She let out something that could have only been described as a whimper. “P… Please let go.  **_Let go_ ** \--” Her voice was desperate and pleading at first, but quickly hardened into something firm and demanding.

Hibiya swiftly pulled away, scooting back with an earnest guilt in his posture. “S… Sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!” He hastily apologized. “I… I just saw you so worked up… I… I wanted to be able to calm you down.” His voice cracked a little.

His tone was genuine. And Hiyori had a feeling he had held no ill intent with his action. But at the same time, she could not let herself fully believe that that had just been to calm her down. That was never how it was. She could not believe it, much less with the last words of the dream still ringing in her ears.

“I… I know. I just…-” She faltered, looking him straight in the eyes. “Y… You didn’t let me finish. You… Said something else Hibiya. A… And I want to make sure what you said isn’t real. I need to make sure it isn’t true.” 

Hibiya met her gaze, but only gave a curt nod in response.

Hiyori took a deep breath. “The last thing you told me, Hibiya, was that you loved me. That you  _ love _ -loved me. Please tell me it was just a bad dream, Hibiya. Please tell me it’s not true. Please. I’m so sick of it… I’m so sick of… I… I…-” Her voice was dangerously on edge. 

She’d had enough of it. Enough of  **_love_ ** . Perhaps one of the reasons she’d been desperate to leave her childhood home, if even just for a summer. The general obnoxiousness of her peers and neighbors in mind, their ‘love’ had to be the most grating thing of all. Hiyori just could not wrap her mind around it. Love letter after love letter. Followed around the hallway by ‘adoring fans’. Perhaps some would have appreciated the love. But not Hiyori. She did not feel that way for any of her classmates. She never had. Maybe she never would. It was not some sort of show of maturity, compliment of beauty, or a rite of passage, like the adults of her village seemed to imply. It was terrifying. It was sickening. It was gross. 

Eventually it was enough to make one break, cruel words escaping their lips, and choruses of insults serenading anyone unlucky enough to pass. Suddenly small, polite, rejections turned into expecting the words of others before they even opened their mouths. Quiet “no thank you”s turned into firm “no”s. No. No. No. No love. Not for her. Never. She’d rather die.

It was only then that the rumors began to stir, and insults began to fly. Hiyori was a bully. Hiyori was a dick. Hiyori was a prude. Hiyori was flaky. Hiyori was a lead on. Hiyori was a bitch. Whatever their clever little brains could think of. Of course, some fans, the Asahina Admirers, stayed. Their unrelenting love just as hurtful as the insults, as appreciation extended to stalking. She did not break under either group’s influence, though. Instead her reactions had only become more and more jaded. More and more cruel. A cycle of intense hate born purely out of what others called ‘love’.

What was it, even? Hiyori only wished she knew. She… Hadn’t really liked anyone in that way, as far as she could remember. Sure, there had been her crush on Konoha, at one point. But she was beginning to doubt even that. Sure, he was attractive, even she would have admitted that. But feeling  _ that  _ way? The idea made her stomach churn. Love wasn’t supposed to feel like that, right? She’d… Heard a lot of definitions of what love was. Perhaps love was when you cared for someone so much you wanted to spend your life with them. Perhaps love was merely some kind of lust, driven by appearances and hormones. Perhaps love was just stalking a prepubescent girl, driving her to the brink of insanity with your endearment. 

Everyone around her seemed to know what it was, but she had never quite found that definition for herself. Was that wrong? Was she  _ broken? _

She wanted to be Hibiya’s friend again. His  **_friend_ ** . Even after years of drifting apart, she could not find herself holding any ill intent towards the boy. He was a good person. He was a fun person to be around. She liked him. If the events of the day had proved anything, it was that she enjoyed his company. She wanted to continue to talk to him, even after vacation ended. She wanted him to be more than an errand boy. She wanted there to be a next summer. But the feeling of panic that had risen in her chest when he’d wrapped his arms around her? She didn’t want that. Anything but that. He couldn’t be one of them. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to let him down. She didn’t want to hate him again.

And she knew, deep down, that she would, if he said he did. Just the thought made her head spin. Her breathing was becoming shallow. She thought she’d finally calmed down. But thinking about that, and seeing the look in his eyes, it made her body tremble. Her weakness was showing again. But she could not stop it. All she could do was let a million thoughts fly through her head, spinning around like a hurricane. No.  _ No.  _ **_No._ **

“No.”

There was a moment of silence, the only audible noise Hiyori’s heavy breathing.

“No. I… Don’t like you.”

It suddenly felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Her thoughts were still racing, but her mind seemed clearer. She did not speak, merely sat there, savoring the silence, and letting the fact sink in. Her noisy breathing did not halt, and her shoulders continued to heave, but a silent thanks resonated in her eyes.

“Yeah. I… Don’t see you that way, okay, Hiyori?” Hibiya quietly added on. “I’m sorry you had a dream like that. But… It wasn’t telling the truth.” His words were drawn out, as if he was thinking over them very carefully. But Hiyori did not mind. Not for once. All that mattered right now was that the answer hadn’t been ‘yes’. All she could do was nod along with his sickeningly slow words, before whispering quietly.

“Thank you."

\---

Hibiya Amamiya had just told the biggest, fattest, lie in his entire life.

Hibiya had always been raised an honest boy. Taught under Father and Mother’s instinct and morals, he’d always been instructed that lying was one of the first things he could do. The wrongness of it drilled into his head, combined with Father’s miraculous intuition for detecting lies, and delivering swift punishment, had led to a sense of genuine honesty that most children his age did not have.

Or at least, until he’d just flushed that all down the drain.

His stomach was tied in knots. What was he thinking!? That had been the perfect opportunity to tell her the truth. He’d been betting on that opportunity all summer, hadn’t he? Yet he could not have forced himself to utter the truth, not hearing her barely muffled sobs like that. He couldn’t tell her he liked her. Not right now. Even if he loved her and her stunning face, as much as he wanted to say ‘I love you’, he could not bring himself to hurt her like that. This was clearly her worst nightmare.

As much as he resented it, something about that made him feel bitter. He hated to think of himself as she was barely choking back tears, but he could not stop his mind from wandering as he murmured quiet ‘it’ll be alright’s. Was… It him? Was he really so disgusting that being liked by him potentially was such a nightmare? His heart felt like it had been shattered, crushed under the boot of Hiyori’s indirect rejection. Was he really _ that _ gross? 

He’d always known she’d never really been fond of those kind of advances, glaring through any affectionate stares, and tossing aside love letters with disgusted murmuring. Perhaps he’d just hoped he was different. That he was special. That he wasn’t like the other guys. That somehow in a single summer he could manage to knock her off her feet. That he could change how she felt about him. That he at least had a chance. But now he knew he didn’t. How was he supposed to feel about that? He knew his thoughts were selfish, but he still could not help but feel like he’d been punched in the gut.

Hiyori quietly sat next to him, whispering a few more hushed “thank you”s in between sobs. All Hibiya could do was watch, wishing he could do more, say more, or at the very least, tell the truth. But, instead, all he could muster was quietly reaching a hand over, giving her a few gentle pats on the back. For an instant he almost suspected her to flinch away, like she had from his hug (which, admittedly, hadn’t been the best idea at the time.). But instead she stayed motionless, and did not speak in opposition to the reassurance. 

...Now that Hibiya thought about it. Maybe her opinion on him  _ had  _ changed. Just a few months ago, would she even have allowed this at all? Surely she never would have allowed herself to openly cry in front of him, much less allow him to touch her while she was so vulnerable. She would have treated him with the same indignity that she treated most other people she met. Yet, now, there was this sense of warmth and openness. Something really had shifted, hadn’t it?

She trusted him.

Maybe that was better than love. Hibiya still wasn’t quite sure.

Either way, he felt significantly less bitter as he stroked her back. The two of them sat in the dark, merely listening to the cars pass outside, murmuring quiet ‘thank you’s and ‘it’s alright’s, as Hiyori’s sobs began to slow. In time, they faded to simple hics and sniffles, her breathing returning to evenness. It was only then, with her shaky breaths calmed, that she quietly peeped up.

“C… Can you get me some more hot cocoa?”  

Hibiya had almost completely forgotten about the hot chocolate, to be frank. In fact, he was sure the mug in his own hands had since gone cold. He’d been far too distracted to even take a sip. Hiyori, though, must have been quietly drinking it as she calmed down. Suddenly Hibiya was very thankful for his idea of bringing the warm drink in in the first place. 

He gave a curt nod, placing his own cup on the bedside table. Then reached out his hands to take Hiyori’s mug. “Of course.” He quietly spoke, before pushing himself out of the bed, and onto his feet. He made quick strides towards the door, anxious to achieve what Hiyori wished. He twisted the doornob, sending one last glance at Hiyori, before retreating into the hallway. 

The only thing to be heard was his own footsteps, as he approached the kitchen. And perhaps that was for the best. With so many thoughts in his mind, a few moments of almost-silence was somewhat appreciated. Without so many outside distractions, he had more time to dwell on the everything that had just happened; The reality that Hiyori was experiencing dreams, too. And, not merely that, but the incomprehensible way he’d managed to envision her situation in his mind like that. And, of course it went without saying, that how she’d reacted to a presumably platonic and good natured hug, could only make Hibiya wonder why she was so afraid of love.

His mind seemed to be hopping all over the place as he flipped the kitchen lights on. Though, of course, all thoughts grinded to a halt, if only for a second, as the bright luminescence blinded his vision. He stood still, leaning on the doorway of the kitchen, and allowing his eyes to adjust, before returning to his desired goal, and letting his thoughts take flight yet again.

His mind was not focused on the motions of his body as he made his way towards the counter, where the remaining pitcher of hot cocoa sat, just as he’d left it. Instead his brain seemed to busy itself with hundreds of questions. How were him and Hiyori suffering the same nightmares? Or at least, certainly similar enough ones. It could be no coincidence that the both of them were having such gruesome dreams. Was it a curse of some sort? Bad karma? Something psychological? Were they supposed to be learning something from this? Because all Hibiya could discern he’d learned was how to be traumatized.

The thought made his hands shake a little as he placed down Hiyori’s mug. His own dreams were unnerving enough, to the point where they were affecting his sleep. But the idea of Hiyori facing them? Somehow that was even worse. No-one should have had to been going through this, much less her. She deserved peaceful rest, not… Whatever this was.

As he reached for the pitcher, and began to pour the steaming drink into Hiyori’s cup, he could not help but wonder how he’d done what he’d done. Surely it had been no coincidence. He’d wanted to see her, he’d wanted to see if she was alright. And his mind has greeted him with that all too real vision of her sobbing in her room. It had not been some trick of imagination, either. For when he’d checked, that truly was the state he was in. What exactly had happened there? Was it some kind of… Magic? Was it some kind of link between them? Or was something just horribly, horribly, wrong?

He hated to admit it, but he wondered if the Dan knew. As strange as those mysterious teens were, and as much as he resented hanging out with them at times, they tended to have answers. Something about them was very wise, in the strangest way. Plus, sometimes he swore something out of the ordinary was going on with them, too. It was not a strange occurrence to find your eyes glued to Momo, completely and utterly captivated, like some sort of hypnotism. Nor was it strange to swear Kido had been in the room, only moments before, only to find her completely gone, as if she’d never been there. All of them were that way. Hibiya had always chalked it up to paranoia, and perhaps Kano messing with him, but now he could not help but wonder.

Was something off about them? Was something off about him? Was that why they’d approached him and Hiyori so out of the blue? Was that why they’d wanted such young children in their friend group? And, even more worrying, was something off about Hiyori?

The thought made Hibiya’s stomach twist. It was only then, that he remembered, offhand, Momo and Kido’s promise to give him advice if he’d ever needed it. He had to admit, he still could not find himself being very fond of ‘oba-san’, even after that. But Kido was a respectable lady, if a bit scary. He’d never been planning to take them up on that offer, but now the idea was seeming more and more appeasing. 

He had to figure out what was going on. And, as such, he made a silent vow. He  _ was _ going to talk to the two of them tomorrow. Even if they could just offer up one tiny answer, it would be appreciated in the haze of confusion and the inexplicable frustration of this all.  

Yes. Perhaps they could offer up some clarity on that strange clairvoyance, and, if he was lucky, even on his nightmares. It would be a welcome relief.

Still, Hibiya could not help but frown a little as he reached for Hiyori’s mug, clutching it in his hands. He knew deep down there was one problem even the Dan could not solve. The Dan knew a lot of things. But, despite Momo’s not-so-subtle eagerness to help with relationship advice, Hibiya knew what had happened in Hiyori’s nightmare was something beyond the Dan’s help. It was… Something personal, wasn’t it? Something between just him and her?

Thinking of the horror in her eyes as she’d asked _ that _ question, Hibiya could not help but grimace. Yeah. This was something only the two of them could solve. A problem he’d never quite realized until now. 

Frankly, he’d never really thought of Hiyori as that kind of person. Sure, she’d always been blunt and cold upon anyone making romantic actions onto her. But Hibiya had always presumed that was more disgust than fear. He’d always thought she was just sick of those people. Of the less dedicated admirers. That she was just waiting for the right person. For someone dedicated and clever and brave. For someone to knock her off her feet.

He’d been hoping he could be that person.

But perhaps it wasn’t like that. It… Almost made him feel a little bad. He’d seen the way she’d yanked away and stared at him with some kind of unbridled horror. The way she’d looked at him like he was trying to make advances. How long had she been dreading this kind of thing? And… Did it make him a bad person? He had been planning that kind of thing, in a way. He’d went on this vacation hoping to woo her over, hoping to show her his true feelings. Was he selfish? Was it selfish to still like her?  _ Did _ he still like her?

He could imagine her in his mind’s eye. And he did not need clairvoyance for that. He could see the way her ebony hair fell over her shoulders, held tight together in adorable pigtails. He could see that spark in her dark eyes, that most people did not seem to hold. He could see that smirk of hers when she was happy, the way her lips turned just barely upwards, and the way her eyebrows cocked. She was beautiful. Even just picturing her seemed to take his breath away.

But did he _ love _ her? He wasn’t quite sure anymore. Nor was he sure if he was even allowed to love someone who clearly didn’t return the sentiment. Was he backstabbing her just by looking at her that way? 

He began to make his way back towards her room, steaming cup of cocoa in his hands. In comparison to the warmth of the mug in his grasp, his blood seemed to run cold with his thoughts. What if Hiyori found out the truth? Would she hate him? For lying, or, even worse, for his endearment? He… Didn’t want things to go back to being like that. He didn’t want to just be another face she passed in the hallways. He didn’t want to be given the cold shoulder. He didn’t want to be disregarded with murmurs of ‘disgusting’. At the very least, he  _ liked _ being her friend, and he wanted things to stay that way.

The shadows of the hallway seemed to loom over him, as if mocking him. 

Part of him was tempted to never tell her the truth. Perhaps it would have been possible to keep something like that bubbled up inside of him. But at the same time, he would have felt dirty keeping such a secret for any long period of time, much less forever. And he had a dreary feeling that she was going to end up hating him anyways, whether she found out on her own, or whether he told her with his own words. 

He felt just about ready to let out a sigh of dejected woe as he pushed the wooden door of Hiyori’s bedroom aside, peeking his head back into the dark. But the sound was caught in his throat as his eyes met hers. 

Her dark eyes were intense but thankful. A small, if surprised, smile formed at the corners of her lips.  And she looked at him with such appreciation as she spoke up. Now with a steadier voice, came a calm “Thank you.” She reached for the cup as he brought it over, bringing it up to her lips, and taking a silent sip. Even after she took her eyes away from him, he could still feel the emotion that they’d expressed, seeming to boom in his chest. His anxieties seemed to ease, if only a little. That way she’d looked at him...

That wasn’t hate.

It wasn’t love, either.

But it was the furthest thing from hate that Hibiya could have possibly imagined.

\---

Hiyori had to admit, she was thankful.

She didn’t quite know what she’d done to be blessed with this luck. But the hours of night felt relieving for the first time. Despite puffy eyes, and wet cheeks, she felt remarkably better than she had only minutes earlier. Her breaths were coming out more evenly, in between sips of cocoa through chapped lips.

Hibiya sat next to her, still not reaching for his own drink. Instead his eyes seemed to rest on her. Although usually she would have found it in herself to comment, now was not the time. And, if anything, the boy’s presence was somewhat reassuring. Not only was his kindness and willingness to do favors greatly appreciated, but so was his company in general. For even him sitting next to her reassure her that he was alright. That he was alive. As such, she found herself sending grateful looks in his direction, too.

…It was more and more lately she’d been wondering what she’d done to deserve a friend like him.

She, admittedly, hadn’t treated him very nicely. She knew that people grew apart, but what she’d done to him had been downright nasty. She’d shunned him because he was embarrassing. But was he even really that bad? He still had his… Moments. But he was a nice kid. And she had to admit he had his own weird charm.

Perhaps she was on the road to recovery, though. Sure, today’s exploit, dragging him across the city, had only been a small thing. But at least she’d considered it. And… Hey, there was always next summer, right?

_...Next summer. _ When Hibiya had suggested a ‘next time’ this afternoon, she’d found herself more than baffled. It had never come to mind before. But, the more and more she thought about the idea, the more appeal it seemed to radiate. After all, she'd enjoyed her time at the city, despite the more… Unnerving, aspects. For the most part it had just been spending lazy days with the Dan, and, more recently, hanging out with Hibiya. Certainly both of those things were not ones she’d deny another opportunity to do.

Finally, Hibiya spoke up, disrupting her thoughts “...You feeling a bit better?” 

She silently nodded. “Y...Yeah.” Her voice came out louder than it had before, with less vibration in it’s tone. Her mouth felt dry, but in general she felt miles better than she had before. “Thank you for calming me down, Hibiya…” She rubbed her eyes as she peered into her glass of hot cocoa. 

Hibiya almost seemed startled. It was subtle, but the way his posture shuddered, just a bit, said enough. He hadn’t been expecting thanks from her, had he? Jeez. She really was a bitch, wasn’t she? Not that she let thoughts of her potential jerkdom plague her for long. She chased such negative thoughts away, busying herself with staring even deeper into her drink. She took another sip. 

“No problem.” Hibiya assured, giving her a quick thumbs up. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at how silly he looked. “It was… Uh… the least I could do.” He drifted off, lowering his hands as his tone suddenly transformed into something much more apologetic. “I mean, you were already kind of calmed down… Then I had to force you to tell me what you dreamt about and got you all worked up again.” He sighed. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, idiot.” Hiyori quickly snapped. “You were just worried, right?” Hibiya gave a meek nod. “It would have been eating at me, anyways, if you hadn’t asked. So be glad you got it over with now.  _ And _ , if it makes you feel any better, you cheered me up twice in one night. That surely has to be some sort of extra kudos for you.” She smirked and roughly elbowed him. “Right?”

Instead of responding, Hibiya yet out a yelp. “Ow! Hiyori! Don’t do that! It hurts!” He whined, rubbing his side and pouting.

“Sorry, Hibiya. It’s a rite of passage. I beat up all my friends.” She snickered, giving him another, albeit more gentle, jab with her elbow. He let out another yelp, scooting a bit away from her with a betrayed grimace. 

“Stoooopppp!” He moaned. “That hurts, y’know!” 

Hiyori scoffed. She’d hardly poked him. Yet here he was wailing like an infant. She smirked, sticking her tongue out. “Baby.”

Hibiya blinked, very silent for a moment, as that sunk in. “...What? I’m not a baby!” His voice had a defensive edge to it, but Hiyori couldn’t resist the temptation to prod him on more. It was all in good fun, after all.

“Yes you are!” She singsonged. “The biggest baby I know! Did you see the way you reacted to skinning your knee, earlier?”

Hibiya pouted at the mention of his knee, pulling his leg up towards his chest, and his pajama pants up towards his thigh, revealing the slightly skinned knee. It was hard to tell in the dark, but Hiyori was almost already certain that it was healing fine. Surely it didn’t hurt anymore. And there were no chances of it getting infected. Hibiya had doused that thing in soap and water until it was cleaned to hell and back as soon as he’d gotten home.

“I reacted perfectly reasonably!” He huffed, poking his knee, and instantly recoiling. Hiyori sneered in exasperation. “And you never put a bandaid on it like you said you would, either.” He bellyached.

“Oh. The horror. How ever will you forgive me?” Hiyori sarcastically drawled.   


Hibiya whimpered a little as he poked his scrape yet again. Suddenly Hiyori regretted bringing it up. He was never gonna drop the damn thing now. 

“Dude, stop bothering it.” Hiyori suggested. “You don’t want it to get infected, do you?”

“N-No!” Hibiya instantly tensed up, yanking his fingers away from the injury. “I.. It just hurts.” He complained, staring forlornly at his wound. 

Something overtook Hiyori. Seeing Hibiya whine, and still feeling some of the tenseness in the dark room, she desperately looked for a way to decrease both of those things. Thus, before she knew it, she had her fingers clutched tight around a pillow, and said pillow flying directly at Hibiya’s head.

It hit him with a dull thump, and he let out another cry, this time more out of surprise than anything. As soon as he was out of his daze, he stared at her, eyes bewildered, and voice shocked. “What was that for?”

“Wellll... I just heard you complaining about your leg so much I decided to take your mind off of it by showing you _ real  _ pain.”

_ “With a pillow?” _

“Let me guess. You’ve never had a pillow fight with me before, have you? Well, here’s your warning. I’m fucking merciless.”

“Don’t cu-” Hibiya didn’t get to finish his sentence as another pillow slammed into his face.

“Fuck! Shit! Damn! Dick!” Hiyori grinned cheekily. Hibiya scooted backwards, eyes wild. Though, Hiyori could not tell if his delirious reaction was to the pillow, or to her bad words. Perhaps both. Either way, she readied herself for another blow, raising the pillow high above her head. She brought it down in one swift motion. Abruptly, the pillow’s motion was halted, though. A quick glance revealed why. Hibiya’s fingers were clenched tight around the pillow, just barely inches in front of his face. He was grasping it so firmly that his knuckles were a ghostly white, and his fingers trembled.

Hiyori tried to yank the pillow back to her side, but was not given the chance. Hibiya pulled back with a surprising amount of force, tearing the soft, but deadly, weapon, away from her clutches. There was hardly a moment to process the action, before it hit her head on. Again. And again. Hibiya’s motions were sloppy and quick. He had none of the same expertise that Hiyori had shown with her hard, deliberate, blows. Instead he swung desperately, missing more often than not.   


Hiyori couldn’t help but smirk. He really was learning, wasn’t he?

Well, in that case. It was time to teach him another lesson: That Asahinas did not back down, much less lose. Ducking away from one of Hibiya’s misaimed thrusts, she wasted no time. Her arm shot to the side, fingers clenching around the soft fabric of another pillow. She rose it to her face, using it as a temporary shield to one of Hibiya’s blows, before lunging forward, and slamming it against his chest.

He tried to hit her back, still swinging his ‘weapon’ in a way that vaguely resembled having a stroke. It was for naught, compared to Hiyori’s forceful, intense, blows, which seemed to leave him gasping for breath. He scooted backwards more and more, practically ready to go stumbling off of the bed.

Hiyori smirked triumphantly. “You’ve never had a pillow fight in general before,  _ have you? _ ” She heckled, before striking him yet again.

“No! I haven’t! I… I’ve never been invited to anything like a slumber party before…!” It seemed to take all of his effort to reply, his words erupting in between heavy, whispery, breaths, and increasingly hopeless thrashing. Jeez, he really was unfit, wasn’t he? Always had been that way, too.

“Oh? So it’s a  _ slumber party  _ now?” There was a silly edge to Hiyori’s voice as she spoke. She never once stopped for an extra breath, or put her assault to a standstill. 

“I… I guess so!” Hibiya was wheezing. 

“Well. In that case I’m gonna have to whoop your ass even more. Pillow fights alone are a competition. But pillow fights at a sleepover? Those are a _ tournament! _ ” Hibiya near-instantly began to regret his choice of words.

While Hiyori’s onslaught only began to grow more and more vigorous, Hibiya’s were becoming utterly careless as he tried to defend himself. It was only occasionally now that he actually hit her. Instead, his pillow was choosing to jerk in every direction. Over her head. To his side. Just barely missing her face. Sweeping past his hair. Behind him in one fell swoop.

**_Crash._ **

Hibiya jolted at the ear-splitting noise, suddenly looking very stiff. The pillows halted their motions, the hands of their holders very still. Hibiya was incredibly still for a moment, and so was Hiyori, who merely stared at him in shock. Though, as his initial shock faded, he willed himself to move, leaning over the edge of the bed, and letting out an audible gasp.

Hiyori looked over his shoulder, her gaze resting on the wet mess that had stained the floor. It was obvious in an instant what had occurred. In Hibiya’s floundering, his pillow had slammed against his mug of cocoa, and in a single swift motion, not only had his treat been ruined, but also Hiyori’s brother-in-law’s rug.

Hibiya anxiously reached towards the lamp, flicking the lights on. Only now, with light and color now blinding her vision, could Hiyori see just how pale he looked. He scrambled off of the bed, and onto the floor, looking rather panicked with every motion.

“Crap! I mean, crud! What are we gonna do!? Your brother in-law is gonna _ kill _ me!” His head was shooting in every direction, and eyes flickering every which way. He was visibly panicking, his chest heaving up and down with quick breaths. “I… I gotta clean this up--”

“No you don’t.” Hiyori raised an eyebrow.

“ _ What? _ ” Hibiya’s eyes drifted back to her. “B… But… I gotta. If I don’t, who will?” 

“My brother-in-law, dummy.” Hiyori cheekily smiled. “It’s not your house. So it’s not your obligation to clean it up. We’re guests here, and if we spill hot chocolate, then so be it. His problem to deal with.”

Hibiya’s forehead was scrunched. “...Won’t he be angry?”

Hiyori gave a lax shrug. “Doubt it. Hell, I doubt he’ll even notice. He’s a bit…” She inspected her chipped fingernails, searching for the right word. “Scatterbrained…” Yeah. That was one word for it. She’d never really gotten to meet her sister’s side of the family much. But even she knew what kind of reputation Kenjirou had around her familly tree. She heard the guy had chugged a bottle of mouthwash, once. “He probably won’t even notice it’s new. He’ll assume it’d always been there.”

Hibiya’s mouth was hanging open. “Isn’t that a little bit manipulative…?” 

Hiyori shook her head firmly. “It’s being clever and taking advantage of the situation at hand.” She explained. “And even if he did know, my brother-in-law wouldn’t mind. He’s a chill dude, okay? So just get up on the bed and stop worrying about little things for once. You deserve a break from all that work. If it still bothers your conscience, you can clean it up in the morning.”

Hibiya seemed to wilt, but reluctantly sat back on the bed. He seemed to be staring at the stain. “Alright. But you have to agree to do something, too.”

“Hm?”

“No more pillow fights.”

Hiyori blinked at the splotch of brown on the ground, an amused smirk forming at the corners of her lips.

“Yeah. That’s enough pillow fights for the night.” 

\--- 

Hibiya’s guilt faded in due time. 

As polite of a boy as he considered himself, Hiyori had a point. And, hey. There was only so much time a prepubescent boy could spend staring at a stain on the floor before he grew bored. Instead, he busied himself with looking at Hiyori. At her pink, snug, pajamas, and the way her hair fell over her shoulders. At the way her ebony eyes seemed to flicker back and forth as she looked around the room. At the way her chest rose up and down, slowly, much more reasonably paced than it had been heaving a half hour or so before.

She really was beautiful looking. Even during the dead of night.

Hibiya instantly tore his eyes away from her, a sharp feeling piercing his gut. Was he not allowed to look at her like that? He… Suddenly felt dirty. He tried to convince himself that he’d just been appreciating her in a ‘normal’ way. He’d just been noting how nice she looked! It wasn’t like he’d been thinking about her butt or anything!

...Her _ butt? _

Hibiya instantly had to fend that thought away. What the hell was wrong with him!?

Hiyori seemed oblivious to his internal turmoil. Thank the lord! Oh, how she would have reacted, if she’d known the truth! She’d have pummeled him! And not with a pillow, but rather, most likely, with a blunt object. At this point he wouldn’t have blamed her.

He’d… Never really thought about how she’d felt about that kind of thing. But it was pretty evident, if only after tonight, that it shook her to the core. Suddenly, just how many ‘Asahina Addicts’ that seemed to be around was a rather unsettling concept. It was already a nuisance to deal with his own, private, hormonal, brain. He couldn’t imagine what it was like to deal with not only your own, but, also, the unwanted, unneeded, pubescent, attention of a million minds like Hibiya’s. 

Yeah. At this rate he would have deserved the beating.

“...I scraped my face once, y’know.” If Hibiya had been expecting to be thrown out of his guilt riddled thoughts by anything, it hadn’t been that.

“You  _ what? _ ”

“I scraped my face once! And I didn’t even cry! So don’t you ever think scraping your knee is that bad!” For a moment, Hibiya actually seemed to consider that as truth. At least, until he saw the snickers Hiyori was barely masking.

“Did not!” Perhaps during any other time he would have accepted her talltales as fact. But something told him that right now debunking her fibs was appropriate. 

“Did too!” Hiyori stuck her tongue out at him. Though, for once, the action did not seem to radiate spitefulness. It was playful, more than anything. 

Hibiya found himself sticking his own tongue out in return. “Oh…? You think you’re tough?” He tried to feign some sort of lighthearted confidence. Though, the meekness never vanished from his tone. “Well… I broke my arm once! Beat that!”

Hiyori overdramatically groaned. “C’mon! Hibiya! That’s a true story! I was there when that happened!”

“Of course you were! You were practically the one to push me out of that tree!” Hibiya was breathless. He still remembered that moment from his childhood so clearly. It had been a humid summer day, and sweat had been sticking to the back of his neck. Somehow a younger Hiyori had decided that climbing trees was a good way to ease their boredom. Which had all been fine and dandy, until her ambitions had turned a bit too rowdy.

“I didn’t push you, idiot.” Hiyori was still smirking. “I just wanted you to stop being a huge baby!” Oh yes. Hibiya remembered now. He’d been shellshocked, still, and practically hugging the tree, as his enthusiastic friend had egged him on, begging him to ‘climb higher’. That sure had ended well. Especially when said friend had to drag him back to his dad, only to show the stern man what kind of new directions his son’s arm was bending in.

“Yeah. I remember now.” Hibiya replied, before falling silent. “You know, though…”

Hiyori leaned in. “Huh?”

“You admitted your story was fake.” Hibiya grinned. “You got all up on me for telling a true story! Which means yours was made up.” Hiyori merely blinked. “Which means I am tougher! ‘Cause you’ve never scraped your face! But I have broken my arm!” He proudly crossed his arms. “Which means I am allowed to complain about my scrape, like a strong guy!”

Hiyori was silent for a moment, her lips turning downward. Though, surely, her mischevious smile returned, as she leaned in yet again. “...Perhaps! But… Hibiya…” Her voice was quiet and whispery, yet keen and eager. “...Have you ever been attacked by Updog?”

Hibiya couldn’t help but wonder if that was a Pokemon. Because he’d never heard that term before in his life. “...What’s Updog?”

“Not much! What’s up with you?” Hiyori’s face was unreadable, barring the slight smile at the corners of her lips

It took Hibiya a few seconds to process the mere audacity and betrayal of that sentence. Though, as soon as it clicked in his mind, he found his mouth agape. Had he just been… Pranked? 

He let out a sound that was some sort of cross between a breathless gasp, and an abrupt guffaw. It was only after his initial reaction, that Hiyori broke her straight face. Her grin widened, as she barely stifled giggles. Said giggles quickly grew to full out, boisterous, laughter.

Hibiya felt his face flush red in embarrassment, but found himself laughing along, nonetheless. Whether he actually found humor in the situation, or if Hiyori’s genuine, rowdy, laughter was contagious, Hibiya did not know. Either way, he found snickers escaping his lips, too. 

“I can’t believe you actually fell for that!” She exclaimed in disbelief. Frankly, Hibiya couldn’t believe he’d fallen for that, either. He wasn’t always the sharpest knife in the drawer. But this was a new low. 

Hiyori’s laughter rang out across the room again, a joyous sound. Unrestrained and rambunctious, in an almost grating way. Yet, it was that imperfection in that happy noise that seemed to make it so perfect.

Now that he thought about it, a lot of Hiyori had started to seem like that as of lately.

Sending her a quick glance, it was hard to take it all in. That hair he loved to look at so much was as stunning as ever. It was evident it hadn’t been brushed in days, rough hair in matted tangles. Her eyes still took his breath away, a sharp gaze remaining in their dark irises. Wonderful, despite the red puffiness staining the corners of them,. Now that he looked at it, her body was not the sexualized miracle he’d been making it out to be. It was lanky and tiny, bony, almost. But it was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 

It seemed almost as if a veil had been lifted. Some sort of perfection he’d been holding her up to, even in his mind. Now he was letting himself see something more truthful. Not something worse. Not in any way. But a simple truth. But one that made his heart pound. Her laugh was jarring. Her nails were bitten down to stubs. She spit a little when she laughed loudly or shouted. 

And he loved that.

He wasn’t quite sure how anymore. He wasn’t sure what kind of love he did feel. He was not sure if his heart commanded his mind, or if his mind commanded his heart. He was not sure what kind of love he was allowed to feel. Or what kind of love he even wanted to feel. In general, he wasn’t even sure what ‘love’ was supposed to be.

...All he knew was that he loved her.

He loved the way she poked fun at him. He loved the way she laughed. He loved that spark in her eyes when she got an idea. And he loved the way she didn’t take anything from anyone. He loved his memories with her. And he loved the memories he was making right now. He loved being her friend. And maybe he even wanted to be her lover.

But if not? If that would never be in her desire? That was okay. Because love understood. Love shifted. Love changed over time. And most of all, love was willing to change _ to _ understand. Love was making sacrifices for those you loved, no matter how you loved them.

...Wasn’t it?

He still wasn’t sure. But as he laughed along, Hibiya Amamiya felt every kind of love he could have possibly felt. Even those he thought he’d lost long, long, ago.


	5. I Don’t Want You To Go, But I Want You So

Last night, it had seemed like an excellent idea.

But now, with the light of day quite clearly shining in through dusty windows, his mind clear, and two semi-intimidating ladies sitting next to him, this plan was losing it’s appeal by the second. It was one thing to talk to the nuisance that was Momo, and the hugely terrifying Kido normally. It was a different thing entirely to admit to them that he was probably going insane.

He sat on the couch, his feet pulled up onto the cushions, as he absentmindedly picked at the scab on his knee. He did not speak to them, nor make eye contact. And though they did not initiate conversation, either, he could see them giving him sideways glances out of the corner of his eyes. No wonder. They were probably amazed that he’d approached them and sat down next to them on his own, rather than the other way around. (Though, of course, he made sure to keep his distance from Kido. As irritating as sitting next to Momo was, Hibiya was not in the mood to catch some sickness right now.)

He knew he had to get to the point before it was too late. Surely Momo would begin another chat if he did not hurry up. And surely it would have no relevance to his current anxieties. He’d be dragged off topic by her blabbering mouth, and only then, would have find himself cowering out, and never admitting what was really bothering him. That could not happen. He had to find out the truth behind what had happened last night. And… Currently? The Mekakushi Dan’s antics were the only leads he had. 

“...Can I have some advice?” The words came out easier than he’d expected them to. They merely slid off his tongue, before he realized that they truly had escaped his mouth. He felt a twist in his gut, and steeled himself, as he brought his gaze up to make eye contact with the girls. 

They were silent for about half a moment, until Kido spoke up, much to Hibiya’s disbelief. He’d been expecting the loudmouth Momo to be the one to excitedly offer up her expertise. But Kido beat her to the point.

“Sure. What is it?” Despite her simple and to-the point wording, her voice was surprisingly gentle. Her gaze was not hostile, either, but curious. It almost made Hibiya wonder just how wrong he’d been in assuming she was threatening. Aside from being tough, strong, and constantly angry at Kano, she actually had a rather tender vibe to her. She was always willing to listen, protective, and he was pretty sure she had a penchant for cute things. She was like… A mom. A big, Kano-kicking, badass mom.

“Well… I…-” He drifted off. Searching for the right words. How was he supposed to express what he’d seen? He couldn’t just say it outright. No way! He’d come off as mad! “...I was wondering. Are you… Not normal?”

Their expressions indicated that he’d worded that wrong.

He quickly scrambled to correct himself, stumbling over his words. “I… I mean! H… Have you ever felt not normal! Out of place!? _Weird!?_ **_Magic!?_** ”

Momo was looking at him like he had two heads. Kido, on the other hand, was giving him a skeptical, but curious, look. Her eyebrows seemed to be knit. Though, it was hard to discern if they actually were, through her messy streaks of green hair. 

“...Out of place, in what way?” 

It was Hibiya’s turn to let his forehead scrunch. “I… I don’t know how to word it.” He broke eye contact, anxiously bringing his fingers through his hair. “I… It’s not just you. It’s all of the Dan… You’re all…-” He fell silent. He tried to find the correct word, but it escaped his grasp.

Kido finished the sentence for him. “Strange?”

“Yeah. That’s it.” Hibiya bit his lip. He still did not bring his eyes up to meet theirs, but he could still  _ feel  _ their judgemental gazes. “...Ever since I met all of you… You always kind of seemed… Strange.” He drifted off. Now that he thought about it, their mysterious, almost supernatural, occurrences, weren’t the only things that bothered him about the Dan. “I guess it was something about how you just seemed to… Approach us. Like you  _ knew _ Hiyori would be interested in your friendship.”

“That was Shintaro’s idea.” 

That came as a surprise to Hibiya. He’d have expected someone like Momo insisting on letting him and Hiyori into their friend group. But Shintaro? Shintaro had to be the most antisocial, and outright odd man Hibiya had ever met. More often than not, he didn’t show up in general. Either that, or he’d appear at the base, only to take a nap, or bury his face inside his computer. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who wanted any friends. Much less to bring a bunch of children into… Whatever this was.

Momo seemed to note the confusion on his face. “If anyone here is strange, it’s my brother.” Hibiya awkwardly glanced up, only to note that she was giving him a sage, understanding, nod.

Kido couldn’t argue. “Yeah. Sometimes I think he’s even weirder than the rest of us. Sometimes I think… He knows something we don’t.” She brought her fingers to her temples. “It’s like he always has some sort of plan. He’s always thinking twenty steps ahead.”

“He reminds me of a robot.” Hibiya quietly confessed. Before Momo could scold him for his brashness, though, he spoke up yet again. This wasn’t about Shintaro Kisaragi, and his strange habits. It was about what had happened last night. It was about more than why he’d been brought into this friend group. It was about being outright unnatural. “Though… You know… I always kind of felt like me and Hiyori were singled out. Scouted out?” His voice was unsure.

“Scouted out?” Kido inquisitively repeated. 

“Like… We were brought into all of this for some reason. Like there was… Something different about us.” Something wrong. “I… I never really got it. But all of you kind of… Gave me the creeps. No offense. You always do these, like, weird things…” He gave them a nervous look. Hopefully he hadn’t wounded their feelings. “It’s not how you act. I mean, you do act weird! But that’s not what bothered me! It was other stuff.”

“Like what?” Momo cocked her head.

“Well… Have you noticed how Kido vanishes sometimes? She’s like a ghost!” 

Kido instantly seemed to pale. “Can you not say that? Ghosts give me the heebie jeebies.” Her face remained apathetic, but Hibiya could not help but hear the shudder in her voice. It almost made him laugh. To know that Kido of all people was afraid of something like that.

“Fine. You’re like a…” He tried to ponder something else that could vanish into thin air.

“Like a chameleon!” Momo helpfully suggested.  

Hibiya thoughtfully nodded. “Yeah. Like a chameleon.” He could not help but mentally picture the tough girl in front of him as a bulbous eyed lizard. That was something he’d never anticipated to think about in his life, yet, here he was. “...But… Yeah. You’re all… Weird. I… Always thought I was out of place among you, actually. I always thought you guys were… Impressively mysterious, or something.” He twiddled his thumbs. “And I was… Always just average. But something weird happened to me last night. **_Really_ ** weird.”

Kido cocked an eyebrow. “How so?”

Hibiya shuddered. There was no going back now. He’d mentioned it. He had to go through with this. He had to admit it to these two, at the very least, what he’d seen. His mouth felt incredibly dry. 

“...W...Well I… I was awake last night. And I was thinking about Hiyori. I… Was wondering where she was. And what she was doing. And then…-” He hesitated. His lips felt awful chapped. “...Then I really did see her. I didn’t… Like, walk into her room. I just saw her. Even though I wasn’t there. Like… Clairvoyance.” He felt silly even saying it. “I don’t know what it was. But I’m sure it happened. It was too real to not be. S… She was crying. I went in to check on her, and she really was. There’s no way it was a coincidence.” 

“...Maybe that was a dream, too?” Momo helpfully piped up.

Hibiya shook his head. “No way. She hit me over the head with a pillow. More than once. You can ask her. That was real, at the very least.” He felt his heart sink. Did they not believe him? “I… Is that kind of thing even possible? Am I going crazy? Am I seeing things?” His voice was suddenly breathless, his words flying out at a faster rate. “I don’t even know what happened-- I… I-”

Momo leaned over and placed a reassuring hand on Hibiya’s heaving shoulder. Surprisingly enough, Hibiya did not find himself flinching away from the girl’s touch, as per the usual, and instead took the comfort that came with familiar contact. She gave him a genuine, if a tad nervous, smile. “...I’m sure you’re not _ crazy,  _ Hibiya.” 

Hibiya was almost tempted to retort that yeah, maybe she was just the only crazy one here. But he held back his tongue. Not only was that crazily beyond the boundaries of respect he usually regarded, but it also would have been just plain cruel upon the kindness she was showing. He bit his lip. “..T...Then am I right? Are we special? Are we being gathered together for some  _ reason? _ ”

Momo gave a lax shrug. Kido gave a slightly-less-lax shrug.

“Hell if I know.” The green haired girl answered. “You’d have to ask Shintaro. Like I told you, he was the one who ‘found’ you and Hiyori.”

Hibiya let that sink in again. “What does that even  _ mean? _ How? Why?” His voice was tense. He wanted answers. 

“He told us he saw some kids that seemed lonely, and like they could use some friends. I, personally, didn’t need any explanation beyond that. That’s what the Dan has always been to me, at least. A home and shelter for those who needed it.” Kido snorted. “Whether we’re ‘chameleons’ or not, like you’re suggesting. We’ve always all been a little weird. We’ve always been outcasts, in a way. Here, we don’t have to be.”

Hibiya hardly got a chance to process that, before Momo loudly commented. “Aw! That’s so sweet, Danchou!” Kido’s face near-instantly flushed red, as she realized just how sappy she’d managed to get.

She pulled her hood over her eyes, as if trying to hide the crimson in her cheeks. “I guess so.” Her tone was as apathetic as ever, despite her apparent embarrassment. 

“But she’s right, Hibiya! And we didn’t just keep you and Hiyori around because of my silly Onii-chan, either! We kept hanging out with you because you’re cool. You’re funny. You’re sweet, even.”

Hibiya suddenly wished he had his own hood to bury his face in. “Am not!”

Even Kido’s amused smirk was quite clear. “I think you’re embarrassing him, Kisaragi.” 

Hoodless and distressed, Hibiya settled for an alternative of burying his face in his knees. He let out an anguished groan.

It was Kido’s turn to place a firm hand on his shoulder, brushing Momo’s aside. “All of that aside, though… If you don’t mind me asking, why  _ were  _ you up last night?”

“Bad dream.” Hibiya matter-of-factly stated, raising his head. He didn’t feel the need to go into more gruesome details. Not only were they disturbing, enough to scare Kido and Momo away. But even alone, thinking about them unsettled Hibiya. 

“Oh no…!” Momo’s tone was genuinely troubled. “...Is that why you’ve been so tired lately, Hibiya?” 

Hibiya felt himself jolt a little. He honestly hadn’t expected Momo of all people to pick up on that. Kido, maybe. But never Momo. He’d never considered her very people smart or intuitive, yet here she was, putting the pieces together so easily. Was he that easy to read? Or had he been giving her less credit than she deserved?

“...Y...Yeah. Kinda.” His voice was a mere mumble. 

Kido gave him a secure tap on the shoulder. Her touch was surprisingly gentle, and almost comforting. Which came as somewhat of a surprise, after seeing how outright violent her touch could be at other times.

“...Don’t worry. They’re not a big deal.” Hibiya bluffed, begging that the two girls would ignore the bags under his eyes, and the yawn caught in his throat. “They’re… Just about bad things happening to Hiyori. I’m just paranoid about her.” He did not bother to mention how paranoid he should have been about himself, with how he’d jumped in front of a car last night, all facts considered.

Kido blinked. “ _ All _ of your dreams have been about that?” It sounded like Hibiya was beginning to test her suspension of disbelief. 

Hibiya gave a shy nod, murmuring a muddled “Mmmh.”

Momo’s mouth was hanging slightly open. “You know… Me and Danchou were joking the other day about how much you cared. But you really would fight Takane or something for her, wouldn’t you? You seem really close.” 

“Of course!” Hibiya’s voice was shrill. Though, he quickly lowered his tone. “...I’ve known her  _ forever  _ now. And she’s really cool. And I don’t want anything bad to happen to her.” He placed his chin on his knee. “She means the world to me.” 

Kido merely smiled.

Momo, on the other hand, beamed. “That really is sweet, Hibiya! I knew you were sweet! There’s my proof that you’re sweet!” She violently patted him on the back. It felt more like a slap than a gesture of fondness. “You should really tell her how you feel, sometime! I bet she’d be flattered to hear such a sweet little boy like you likes her!”   


Hibiya’s stance changed near-instantly. He tensed, leaning to the side, and pulling away from Momo’s touch. “No.  **_No_ ** .” His voice was surprisingly firm. Momo seemed confounded by the sudden venom in his stare.

“...?”

“I’m not doing that. I’m _ not  _ doing that.” He could feel his heart pounding against his chest. “She… She doesn’t. She wouldn’t want to--” 

Momo’s head just barely tilted. “You don’t know unless you try.”

“I do.” Hibiya’s voice came out surprisingly more firm than he’d anticipated it to. “She talked to me last night about it.” Said firm voice was quickly degenerating into something shameful and sad. “S...She was so scared, okay? She was  _ terrified _ of me loving her.” Terrified wasn’t an exaggeration. That wasn’t disgust at the concept. That had been  _ fear _ . “I don’t care what you say. I’m not telling her that. She’d hate me.”

Suddenly the situation radiated something solemn, rather than the silly vibes that had emanated before. It was no longer the senseless prodding at Hibiya’s crush: But, rather, why said prodding was to stop.

Momo’s voice was mumbly. “Sorry, I didn’t know.”

Hibiya gave a uncaring roll of his shoulders. He couldn’t say he blamed the orange haired girl for making assumptions. _ But _ , at the same time, it was obnoxious.  **_But_ ** wasn’t that only to be expected? She was obnoxious. 

“Hibiya. I’m sure it’s not a good idea to hide something like that.” Kido’s tone was stern.

“I don’t care.” Hibiya found his words coming out grumbly and defensive. Though that clearly had not been her intention, it felt like Kido was attacking him.

“Isn’t it going to keep eating at you, then?” Kido huffed. “I’m not saying you should try to scare her. But shouldn’t you at least tell her the truth? I’m sure it’ll help your heart, at least. And I’d bet that it’ll hurt her a lot less than if she found out later.” Kido fell silent. “...I’m not saying you should “go after” her. I’m  _ not _ .” She emphasized her ‘not’s. “If she says ‘no’, then you better damn well take that no. But what you shouldn’t do is lie to yourself, and especially not to her.”

“...What if she hates me?” Hibiya gulped. “I… I don’t want her to stop being my friend, too, just because of that kind of thing.” Hibiya stared at his shoes. 

“If she’s really your friend, she won’t.” 

“Yeah. No way. Friends don’t do that to friends.” Momo assuredly chimed in. “And she  _ is _ your friend.” Her words were not a question, but a statement. 

“I… I know.” That was the one thing Hibiya could agree with Momo on. “...I...It’s just… I don’t want to lose that kind of friendship. I’ve known her forever.”

“Like I said: You won’t.” Kido gave Hibiya another pat. “And even if you would, you need to think about yourself sometimes. No matter how much she means to you. It’s gonna hurt you if you keep trying to hide something from her. It’ll make you feel pent up and anxious. I know you’re a compliant person. But that’s not always a good thing.”

“C...Compliant? What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You do whatever people tell you to, even if you don’t want to. I’m not trying to insult you. But it’s true. That kind of thing is something you shouldn’t take from anyone. Not from the rest of the Dan. And not even from her.” She paused for a second, as if giving that time to sink in. “You know what I do when someone tries to walk all over me?” 

Hibiya was not given a chance to respond. As immediately afterwards, Kido sent her fist flying through the air. Her knuckles made a swift arc, ignoring the jolt of Momo and Hibiya’s bodies, before coming to a stop, just in front of… Nothing.

“I do that.” 

Hibiya’s shriek was near-instant.  **_“I’m not punching Hiyori!”_ **

It was only when he heard Kido’s chuckle that he noticed the amused smirk on her face. It was almost surreal to see. Somehow he’d managed to get the mental picture that she never laughed.    


“Yeah. No. Don’t do that.” Kido’s laughter had faded near-instantly. But she could not rid herself of that tiny smile. “I’m just pulling your leg.”

Hibiya pouted. Perhaps that was Kido’s sense of humor. But it wasn’t his. He decided to pretend that had never happened, instead. Up until now, the advice-giving on Kido’s part had been going pretty well. At least, until she’d decided to start acting like a child.

Now that he thought about it, hadn’t that been something eating at him? Surely if he was growing closer and closer to his teen years, and was beginning to feel… Certain urges, wasn’t it time to act that way, too? Like the young man he was surely becoming? Twelve was growing awful old, after all.

But wasn’t sixteen even older? There Kido sat, a girl of four more years than him, with that miniscule smirk on her face.

...Maybe all of that growing up and acting like it wasn’t as mandatory as he’d expected it to be.

“Well… Uh… Thanks for the…  _ Advice _ .” Hibiya made sure the last word came out with some uncertainty. There was a lot of things he could call the suggestion to sock his prepubescent crush over the head, but he was pretty sure advice wasn’t one of them.Though, he supposed everything else the two of them had said had been helpful, even if it hadn’t answered too many of his questions. At the very least, it had eased a few of his fears.

Momo gave him an eager thumbs up, seemingly excited to take all the credit as she quickly blabbered a “No problem!” Kido seemed happy to let Momo take the spotlight, though, merely giving Hibiya a small smile. 

Hibiya found himself returning her smile. “Well, my father always taught me that if someone helps you, you should find a way to thank them. So…-” Hibiya reached into his pocket, retrieving the dinosaur from yesterday, and holding it out in his palm for Kido to see. “Take this as a thanks, Danchou.  _ And  _ as a get better present.”

Kido seemed to raise an eyebrow at the latter part of Hibiya’s sentence, but found herself far too occupied with observing the dinosaur to comment. Her face almost seemed to light up as she looked into it’s humongous eyes. From the way she was looking at it, Hibiya practically expected her to snatch it up feverishly, gushing in childish and overzealous glee.

Of course, she did not.

Instead she peacefully took the keychain, holding it in between her fingers, and dangling it in front of her gaze. She gave it a smile that should not have been surprising by this point, before returning her eyes to Hibiya, and giving a curt nod. “Thank you, Hibiya.”

Momo perkily leaned over her shoulder. “That’s so cute!” She squealed. “Not really my kind of cute… But cute! I love it, Tsubomi!”

Almost instantly she realized her mistake. “Sorry!” She yelped. “Sorry if we’re not in first name territory yet-- I… I just heard your siblings calling you that, and I thought it was a really pretty, nice name, and I slipped up!” Her words were spewing out faster than Hibiya could keep track of. The way she breathlessly spoke, hardly any pauses in between her sentences, gave him a migraine. 

“I…It’s fine.” Kido reassured, her tone almost flustered. “Tsubomi works.” She quietly pocketed the dinosaur, turning her head to Momo. Hibiya almost could have sworn he saw a tint of red to her face. Perhaps at the ‘pretty name’ comment?

It almost made Hibiya wonder…

_ No way. _

The way Kido was looking at Momo. It almost made him wonder if there was more to them than just innocuous comments and red faces. Perhaps… Something like love?

 

In another world, or even just a few days ago, Hibiya would have said something. But that would have made him no better than Momo, with her loud comments about he and Hiyori. If he’d learned anything by now, it was that love and not-love and maybe-love was something more complicated than what could be put into words. It was embarrassing as hell. And something you could only figure out on your own. Yeah. It wasn’t his place to say.

Plus, it wasn’t like he’d had much of a chance to comment, anyways. As Kido soon stood up, stretching, and looking around. “...Well. I’m gonna go clip this on something. And then after that I have some cleaning up to do around here.” Her nose wrinkled. “Not like any of the other members are gonna do it, after all.” Hibiya was almost tempted to offer to clean with her sometime. But he had a feeling he’d only earn a barrage of laughter from both her and Momo. “Thanks, Hibiya. And if you ever need to talk again, hit us up anytime.” She gave him a smile, a quick “Have fun, you two.” And then she was gone.

Quite literally. He gave her a wave, before sending a sideways glance to Momo (Who, now that Hibiya was looking for it, seemed to have a pin in her cheeks.) As soon as he’d tried to return his eyes to Kido, there was no Kido to be found. As if she’d vanished into thin air.    


Maybe he really was right. Maybe she truly could disappear. Either that, or she was just pulling his leg. Still, even for humor’s sake, he couldn’t possibly imagine someone getting out of the room that fast.

Yeah. Sometimes there was no other explanation. 

“...She really is mysterious, huh?” He commented. 

Momo gave a nod. “In a cool way.” 

“Yeah… Cool and mysterious.” Hibiya couldn’t find himself disagreeing. Though, perhaps he wouldn’t have genuinely agreed with his next statement. “ _ Cute _ , too.” 

Momo squeaked. It sounded as if she was choking on her own breath. “Cute!? W...Well… I guess you’re not wrong!” Hibiya noted the faint color overtake her freckled face again.

“...Cute enough for someone to have a crush on, maybe?” Yet again, not his own feelings, merely based on a sneaking suspicion.

Momo let out another squeak-cough sound. The red spreading across her cheeks was becoming something far from subtle.

Hibiya smirked. Perhaps he really was no better than Momo when it came to lack of tact over these sorts of things. How could he resist, though? Revenge was a dish best served cold. And a severely underrated pick on the menu of life, too! At least he’d had enough decency to not say these sorts of things in front of Kido. 

“I knew it!” He declared in satisfaction, leaning closer to the older girl. “You like her!” He said it with the tone of an excited, gossipy gradeschooler. Which, perhaps, was only to be expected, as that’s what he was.

Momo buried her face in her arms, letting out a frustrated groan. “Am I really that readable!?” She made another moaning sound. “I mean, she’s cute and all! B...But she’d never like someone like me back.”

Hibiya suddenly felt a pang of sympathy. Oddly enough, he knew how that felt. He gave her a halfhearted pat on the back, an attempt at reassurance of some sort. “No way, Oba-san. You’re not readable. I just have a lot of experience with this kind of stuff.. Okay?” And that was no exaggeration. He was only twelve, and he was already quite certain he could pursue a PHD in the daunting field of ‘crushes’. 

“ _ And _ I’m not gonna tell anyone. It can just be our little secret, okay?” He paused, thoughtful. “As long as you shut up about Hiyori, I mean.”

Momo finally looked up, giving a shrug. Her face was still beet-red. “Seems fair. I… I was planning to do that, anyways.”

“In that case, good luck, Momo.” He drifted off. “With all the crush stuff, I mean.”

Momo’s eyes seemed to widen a little at the use of her name. Hibiya felt instant regret at using it. She’d never let him live it down, would she? She’d pinch his cheeks and loudly shout to the world that her little friend had finally called her something other than ‘old lady’ or ‘older lady’. The idea made his stomach churn in embarrassment. 

She did not pinch his cheeks, or even bring it up. Instead she gave him an honest smile.

“Good luck to you, too, Hibiya. With everything.”

Perhaps an immovable object had finally made its peace with an unstoppable force.

* * *

 

“Shintaro. You’re sucking it up."

The black haired boy visibly shuddered, shoulders tense. Not that he bothered to avert his eyes from the television. Pale hands merely clasped tighter around the controller. His fingers moved swiftly and precisely. As if to contrast the wild button mashing of his opponent. 

Hiyori sat, legs dangling off the bed. She scrutinized the two older children, now crosslegged on the floor, and fingers flying far too fast for one to completely process. 

“Shuuya! There’s no need to be rude!” A voice pestered behind Hiyori. If she had turned around, she would have found herself face to face with Kano’s boots. He and Ayano sat behind her, observing the ongoing carnage with just as much interest. His feet, outstretched, were practically digging into Hiyori’s back, but she did not dare complain. 

“He’s not even… Losing, is he?” A meek voice piped up, from the slumped figure half asleep on the floor. Hiyori gave him a quick glance, and shook her head. “No. Don’t think so.” 

He gave her a subdued smile, seemingly satisfied, before returning his gaze to the radical keychain he held in hand, and continuing a mumbled conversation. 

“No way in hell he’s losing!” Takane’s irritated voice snapped. “He’s practically  _ cheating! _ ” Her tone dripped with venom, the vitriolic hiss of a sore loser. 

The past half hour or so had been like this. Takane had managed to bring up Smash Brothers Melee, and the next thing anyone knew, Kano had been digging through his closets, hauling out the clunky, purple console from his childhood, and sitting nearly half the Dan down for a bracket tourney. 

Hiyori, frankly, didn’t see the point of something so superficial. Shintaro had brutally slaughtered everyone who’d been put up against him, and honestly? It wasn’t even that special of a game, anyways. More than anything, it just seemed to reek of Shintaro’s elitism, and Kano’s bitter nostalgia. 

Still, how could she say ‘no’ to something that most of the Dan had gotten in on? As such, here she found herself, watching Konoha talk to a knick-knack, and snorting every time Takane growled another hushed swear at Shintaro.

“Oh, trust me. He’ll lose soon. Did you see that move?  _ Yikes! _ ” More than anything, the snickering boy behind her just seemed to be looking for a reason to harass Shintaro. He was still kicking Takane’s ass. And that wasn’t even mentioning how he’d beat Kano without a sweat, or even a second thought. 

“You’re so mean, Shuuya.” Ayano softly whined. 

Hiyori found herself speaking without thinking. “Y’know… What even does make someone mean?” 

Almost instantly, she regretted bringing it up. Did that steer the conversation in a somewhat sour direction? It had been an impulse to ask. She’d been called the same thing in the past: Mean; cold, cruel. But what did that mean? Was the quota for being a ‘nice’ person just being as far from Kano as possible? Because she was pretty sure, in that case, that there would be a lot more nice people in the world.

Kano and Ayano spoke up at the same time.

“Being like Shuuya.”

“Being like me.”

At least they’d found something they could agree on.

Still, that wasn’t very legitimately helpful to Hiyori’s case. Kano being an insufferable dipshit was great and all. But it didn’t really answer her question. The past few days, a question had been burning in her psyche. And now she couldn’t help but wonder the answer to it. Was  _ she _ mean?

“I think… A mean person is… Someone who says mean stuff for no reason.” Konoha ever-so-helpfully contributed from his spot on the floor.

As to-the-point as his answer was, it was still miles more helpful than Kano or Ayano’s answers. (Though, perhaps that was just Hiyori’s bias towards Konoha speaking.  _ And _ perhaps that wasn’t saying much.)

“But… Like… What qualifies as a bad thing?”

Kano let out a snort. “Why’re you getting all philosophical about this, kid? I understand I’m absolutely shameful for shaming Neetboy, but you don’t need to make a big show about defining it.” He paused. “Plus, I’m not even that much of a dick. Takane is worse.”

Takane did not bother to defend herself. In fact, Hiyori was quite certain she hadn’t even heard Kano’s comment. By now it seemed all of her focus was on the screen, as she let out a stream of curses, and watched her stock count decrease. 

“This isn’t about you. Or about Takane.” Hiyori gave a shrug. “I don’t, like, usually enjoy talking about this kind of thing. But something’s been eating at me lately, and that  _ kinda _ reminded me.”

“Oh.” Ayano nodded understandingly. “In that case, feel free to talk abou-”

“It’s about you, isn’t it?” Kano jeered. “You think you’re mean!” He was already snickering.

Konoha defensively sat up, giving a pouty glare in Kano’s direction. It was surprisingly effective, for the glare of someone who usually had the demeanor of a huge, relaxed, puppy. Kano practically choked back his giggles. Hiyori could only presume that was because of Konoha’s strength. As passive, sweet (and cute?) as Konoha usually was, he had the force of a moving truck at times. Kano already screeched enough upon being hit by Kido. Hiyori couldn’t even begin to imagine the sounds he’d make upon being socked over the head by Konoha.

“Hiyori isn’t… Mean!”

Hiyori couldn’t help but smile a little at that. Even if she was beginning to doubt the fact that she’d ever  _ loved _ Konoha, he was about the most endearing person she knew. Standing up for her like that? He was so good natured!

“I… Try not to be, Konoha.” She bashfully shrugged. “But...I  _ was _ actually thinking about me, sorry.” She hesitated upon Konoha’s frown. “Okay. Maybe… I wasn’t thinking that I was mean. But I was thinking… What if I’ve done some… Really mean things in the past?”

“Let me guess. Really mean things to Amamiya?” Kano ever-so-helpfully chimed in.

_ “Shuuya!” _

“Well… He’s not wrong.” Hiyori quietly admitted. It felt like someone had twisted a knife in her gut. Was it really that obvious how cruel she could be? Or was Kano just trying to get under her skin? Either way, she didn’t like it. 

“It is about Hibiya. I… I guess I’ve just been thinking about him and how I’ve treated him for the longest time.” Perhaps like a piece of gum on the heel of her shoe? Disgusting, but something you just couldn’t peel off? “...In all honesty, he and I didn’t have the best relationship before this summer.”

“Really? I always got the gist you two were pretty good friends.” Ayano’s tone was sincere.

“No way.” In a way, Hiyori’s reply came off as more blunt, and even conceited than she’d anticipated it to. “I mean… I guess we were close when we were younger.” She admitted. “We grew up in the same small town. There weren’t any other towns for, like, a hundred miles. And there weren’t too many other kids nearby. So we used to play or whatever. But eventually that got kind of… Boring as we grew up. And I guess eventually we just kind of drifted apart.”

“Oh… So you’ve known each other for a super long time then, haven’t you?” Ayano seemed honest-to-god impressed. 

Hiyori gave a curt nod. “Totally. Though, like I said. This is the first time I’ve really spent time with him in a  _ while _ . I guess he just started to get… Weird as we grew older. He never knows the right thing to say. Once he ran up to me in the halls and just started shouting my name. Asking me about the weather or something? It was so  _ embarrassing.  _ Pretty soon? I just kind of… Started ignoring him completely. It was the only thing I knew how to do. And now, after connecting with him again, I’m worried I made him feel like I don’t care? Or… Maybe even that I really don’t.”    


Kano snorted. “He sounds embarrassing. At this point you should just ditch the kid again. Who cares how long you’ve known him? If he’s a thorn in your side, or some huge embarrassment, then what’s the point of picking up the scraps of some ruined relationship? I’m sure you have plenty of cooler friends.”

Hiyori whipped around, expecting to see one of Kano’s token smug smirks. But the Kano she found herself locking eyes with was completely straight faced, staring at her with intensity she’d never seen before. The only indication that she was truly looking at the same man was the sparkle in his eye. She felt her shoulders tense.

“What!?  _ No! _ ” Had Kano entirely misinterpreted what she was saying? Or was he just being as cruel as ever? “Hibiya’s a lot of things! But I’m not ditching him again! I’m  _ not! _ ” Her voice was stern. “He’s not just some… Loser! So don’t you dare pick on him behind his back like that.” 

Kano’s relaxed smirk returned, as he outstretched his arms in a dramatic motion. His satisfied chuckle resonated throughout the room.

“Congratulations! You passed the test! You do care! You just proved it!” He began to melodramatically clap. “So don’t get your knickers in a twist because of it!”

She really had just proven it, hadn’t she? Hearing Kano speak about him like that had felt like a punch to the stomach. Being willing to stand up for someone humiliating like him should have been shameful. But it wasn’t. It was just standing up for… Her friend. 

As dickish as Kano had been with his approach, he’s proved a point. For a second, she felt a wave of pride wash over herself. It quickly faded.

...One worry lingered in Hiyori’s mind.

“But… Caring doesn’t mean I can’t be mean.” Hiyori pointed out. “This summer alone, I’ve said so much stuff to him. Hell, I even told him to his  _ face _ that I just invited him along to carry my stuff. And… Sometimes I hurt him without even meaning to come off as cruel. He’s just… Sensitive.  _ Super _ sensitive.” 

“Just because you’re a douche to someone doesn’t mean that you can’t care! I mean, just look at me and Tsubomi. I pick on her all the time, and we’re still the  _ best _ of friends.” Kano gleefully exclaimed.

Hiyori was tempted to question the absurdity of that claim, but it wasn’t worth the effort. She pushed aside any mental pictures of Kido striking Kano in the jaw, trying to entertain the idea that that was what ‘besties’ acted like.

Ayano did not bother to hiss ‘Shuuya’ again. She merely shook her head in disbelief.

“...The best thing you can do is just apologize, Hiyori. If you feel like you’ve hurt him, or are hurting him, then the best thing to do is to say sorry. He’ll understand you haven’t been meaning to hurt him. I promise.” She gave the younger girl a quick, gentle, pat on the back. 

“...But… What if I _ can’t  _ apologize for some things?”

Ayano was silent for a moment. “...Like what?”

Hiyori shuddered. “I can apologize for being mean. I can apologize for ignoring him. I can apologize for saying the wrong things at the wrong time. But… I can’t apologize for not giving him what he wants.”

“What he wants?” Ayano cautiously repeated.

“H… He said he didn’t… He promised he didn’t. But… What if he’s like the rest of them? What if he does later? What do I do if we grow close again… And…. And he…-”

Hiyori could feel herself shivering. She hated herself for it. It had been a civil conversation merely moments earlier, yet, that idea of civil calmness had been destroyed. The idea ate at her. It scared her. But what if her dreams were right? What if her dreams were right?

“...What if he wants me to love him?”

A silence overtook the room, that is, except for the noises of the competitive Shintaro and Takane duking it out. It seemed they weren’t paying any mind to the conversation. But everyone else? Hiyori could feel their bewildered stares.

“I… I know it sounds stupid! Really stupid!” She admitted. “But… Like, I’m afraid Hibiya is suddenly going to want more out of this if I keep being nice. And I don’t know how to apologize for not reciprocating that. I… It’s not that I don’t like spending time with Hibiya or anything. I just don’t feel… That way.” She felt a lot of ways about Hibiya. Embarrassed. Fond.  Tired. Caring. But ‘In love’ was not one of those things. “...I don’t think I ever have. Is _ that  _ mean?”

“...I don’t think so…” Konoha was sitting on his knees, now, looking up at her. “Even if Hibiya does… Love you, wouldn’t he understand?” He was staring at her intently, his eyes brimming with curiosity. 

“But what if I hurt him?” Hiyori strained. “I’ve already done so much of that! I don’t want to come off as some… As some… **_Bitch!_ ** ” Her last word rung with hurt and bitterness. “I mean, just look at me! Saying I don’t even love him! How _  cold _ does that sound!?” Her voice had begun to rise, despite her better judgement. 

“Hiyori, I want you to look at me.” Ayano’s voice was shockingly stern. Hiyori turned her head, only to be met with the older girl rubbing her temple quietly. She was silent, in thought, for a minute, before raising her eyes to meet with Hiyori’s.

“First of all, you are not a _ bitch _ .” She stated matter of factly. “And second of all, you’re looking at this the wrong way. Just because you don’t ‘love’ him doesn’t mean you don’t love him.”

“ _ What? _ ” Hiyori snapped. That didn’t even make any sense!

“There’s a lot of different ways to love a person, Hiyori. Like I said, even if you don’t ‘love’ him you still love him. You’ve proven that much by even worrying about this.” She informed. “It doesn’t work so simply. I love Shuuya here.” She made a dramatic gesture towards the boy sitting next to her. On improv, he made a dramatic pose. “Shuuya’s my brother. I don’t ‘love’ Shuuya. But I love him, of course! Tsubomi and Kousuke, too! I love them bunches!”

Hiyori blinked. “Isn’t that a bit different, though? They’re, like… Your family.”

“Fine.” Ayano admitted. “I love Konoha. I love Haruka. I love you. And I love Hibiya, too.” Ayano shrugged. “None of them are my family, right? And none of them are people I’m… Interested in, either. But I still love all of them. I love everyone in the Dan.”

Konoha was beaming. He seemed flattered to even be mentioned. “Love you too…!” He cheerfully agreed.

Kano, on the other hand, was back to his snickering. “I like it how you didn’t mention Takane and Shintaro in the ‘just friends’ category, sis. Real smooth.”

Ayano squeaked, scrambling to physically cover Kano’s mouth. She pinned him down, clasping her palms around his piehole. “Shuuya!” She hissed, for about the tenth time in the past thirty minutes. “They’re _ in the room _ ! Hush up!” She cried. “A...And it’s not like I like them like that! I just listed the first people I thought of! I didn’t leave anyone out on purpose!” 

Takane and Shintaro didn’t even look up from their game.

Ayano’s face was as red as her scarf.

Hiyori was suddenly very, very, relieved that she didn’t have any crushes. It seemed exhausting. 

Nonetheless, Ayano had a point. 

Hiyori firmly nodded. “You’re… Right. I do care. So I love him. I just… Love him in our way.” As friends. As people who had known each other all their lives. As summer fun buddies. And as people who evidently needed each other. 

Ayano had managed to place herself on top of Kano. She was practically suffocating him with her ass. “Exactly. And that kind of love is worth just as much as anyone else. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.” Kano was making desperate whimpering sounds. It was hard to tell if he could breathe. “And you tell him that, okay? If love is scaring you, then the best thing you can do is sit down and talk about love. I’m sure he’ll understand.” She paused. “Frankly? I think a lot has been eating at him, too. I think he’ll appreciate it if you sit down and talk it out, too. Not just the love stuff. The… Everything.”

Hiyori blinked. “The love and the cruelty and the end of summer, right?”  

Ayano gave her a thumbs up. “Exactly. Put each other’s fears to ease.”

Hiyori was not given a chance to respond as Kano managed to shove Ayano off of him. He was scrambling off the bed, and out of the room, in an instant. “I’m done here! I need to do important things like breathe oxygen! Have fun getting your ass kicked, Shintaro!” And with that, he was gone. 

Hiyori watched him make his dramatic exit. “...Y’know, you guys really are something else. And… Not in the bad way. You… Know a whole lot. And you’re certainly… Unique, too.” She gestured to the door in which Kano had left from.

Ayano bashfully grinned. “We’re not anything that special, really. Just a bunch of people trying to stick together.”

Hiyori smiled. “...Well, I think you’re all pretty special. The whole Dan.Thank you for taking me and Hibiya under your wing like that. We’ve appreciated your company so much this summer. Both of us.” Or, at least, she was pretty sure Hibiya appreciated the Dan, too. She could not read his mind, but despite his attitudes towards one peculiar member, she had a feeling he’d found his own sense of home in the Dan, too. “...Love you guys.” 

Shintaro tossed his controller to the side, giving a quick, smug, smirk to Takane, before looking over his shoulder. He looked in Hiyori’s direction.

“Really. Ayano said it. We’re nothing special. Just a bunch of freaks. Some more than others.” He gave himself a self-derogatory gesture, and turned back to the television. Hiyori almost swore she spotted an unnatural glint in his eyes.

She could only wonder how much of that conversation he’d heard. In between the ‘victory’ flashing on the screen, Takane’s seething, and Shintaro’s ridiculous kill count, it seemed almost absurd that he’d heard all of that.

Yet, the amused way he seemed to look at Ayano could only make Hiyori wonder if he’d heard… Earlier parts of the conversation.

He truly, really, was something special.

Yeah. Freaks sounded about right for every member of the Dan, Shintaro especially. But, with a freak behind her, two crosslegged on the floor, one curled up in a nap, and another having bolted into the living room, she could not deny it.

She felt at home with these freaks. And they’d given her some pretty sound advice for the future. 


	6. Now I’ve Got Friendships To Mend. I’m Selfishly Dispossessed

Vicious rays of the sun beat down upon the back of Hibiya’s neck.

Hiyori strutted next to him, her walk as lax as always. Her sandals clicked against the pavement, her shadow danced. She and Hibiya were on their way back from the Dan’s base.

Hibiya almost found himself thinking that she appeared beautiful, the sun shimmering down on her form. Though he quickly pushed that thought, and any like it, out of his head. He refused to think that way, or anything vaguely resembling it. His stomach felt like there were a million knives buried in it. Momo and Kido had been right. He needed to tell her the truth. Otherwise guilt would eat at him forever. But even the idea of voicing his concerns made his head spin. That fear; What if she hated him?

She was trailing a few feet in front of him, now. She stopped, looking over her shoulder, and making a beckoning motion with her hand. “Hurry up, Hibiya.” Her voice was impatient, but not callous. She seemed so calm on the outside. Hibiya wondered if in reality, the heat was driving her insane. Or perhaps other things were. Did she have her own inner turmoil? Or was he overthinking this? He had to be.

She didn’t seem very troubled, after all.

Hibiya quietly began to follow. As such, she returned to her march, sloppily leaning him onward.

They passed storefront after storefront. Hibiya could hardly believe it, but he found himself able to recognize some of the names. He almost found himself doing a double take when he spotted the same store he and Hiyori had nabbed icecream from the other day. He could have sworn that place was halfway across the city! Although a quick glance into the windows, and a look at different decor made him realize it was. It was a chain of stores. Of course.

Nonetheless, him even recognizing that in itself was an accomplishment. If it had been the beginning of the summer, surely he would have asked Hiyori ‘how it had moved’ and ‘about the teleporting icecream store’. She would have snickered and scoffed at him. He would have been embarrassed out of his mind. He was lucky to have saved himself from that mortification.

Plus, he felt awful proud of himself for even beginning to barely get the hang of this sort of thing. At the beginning the city had baffled him. It hadn’t made any sense. It still didn’t make much sense. And it still scared him. A lot. But he growing oddly fond of the confusing twisting streets, and the blare of people and traffic. 

...He’d need to master understanding the city, eventually. Especially if he and Hiyori still wanted to go again next year.

...Well, more if Hiyori did. He was certain he’d still be eager about the idea. But something in the pit of his stomach made him wonder if there wouldn’t be a next year. Maybe there wouldn’t be anything. Maybe as soon as they got back to the countryside, Hiyori would stop talking to him entirely. Maybe the social totem pole would return to how it should be, and he’d be left alone again.

He wildly shook his head, trying to lose himself in a store window. He needed to get his mind off of all these ‘maybe’s.

She gave him another look. This time she seemed almost quizzical; And no wonder! He was almost certainly whipping his head back and forth like a maniac.

“What are you  _ doing? _ ”

Hibiya found himself wordless. He gave a shrug. “Thinking.”

Hiyori merely smirked. “That’s new.” She prodded, sticking her tongue out at him. He felt his face heat up in embarrassment. Was she making fun of him!? He was used to if, for certain. But something about it was different this time. It was… Endearing; The good kind of sadism. He found himself smirking back, despite himself.

“Oh. You’re one to talk.”

He near-instantly found himself shellshocked. His mouth felt dry. Had he really said that?  His heart skipped a beat. Had he said the wrong thing? Oh no. What if he wasn’t in a position to say that kind of thing? Would she be insulted? He hadn’t meant to insult her! Oh dear.  _ Oh dear!  _ Her eyes suddenly seemed incredibly stern, glaring at him-- No, glaring _ through _ him. 

Hiyori grinned cheekily. “Well at this rate I guess neither of us should think, dummy.” 

Hibiya’s heart returned to beating at a reasonable rate. He had to hold himself back from letting out a hefty sigh of relief. Crisis averted. He returned her zealous grin, although perhaps with less exhilaration. 

“Y...Yeah. No more thinking.” He firmly agreed. His attempts to sound spiteful or clever fell flat on their face. He had searched for some kind of cunning remark, but had instead found himself mostly repeating her idea in a jumbled mumble. She smiled back, anyway.

Her smile faded, as something skittered past their shoes. 

A flash of black fur. The clicking of claws against the pavement. A swift movement. A feline, with fur as dark as night, crossing their path. A bad omen?

It loped past them without a second thought. Not even a sideways glance was cast in their direction. It slunk down a nearby street, it’s tail flicking a single time, before it turned around a corner. An animal that had paid them no mind. Nothing supernatural in that sort of occurrence. 

Hibiya felt his blood run cold, anyways. Abruptly, his heart was pounding in his ears.He stared down the alley. But the cat did not return.  He glanced back, warily searching for cars. Not a single one was to be found. The streets were quiet, the bustle of people aside. Despite all this, he felt like the sky was crashing down.

He hated himself. He hated his anxieties. He hated his worries. He hated his paranoia. It made him feel pathetic. He tried to still any shaking of his body. What would Hiyori say if she noticed him shivering? She’d laugh at him. He tried to take deep breaths, but found himself wheezing. She had to have noticed. He forced himself to look away. She’d laugh at him. She’d judge him. She’d follow the cat. She’d-

She took his hand. 

Her fingers seemed to tremble a little. Her palm was surprisingly sweaty; Uncomfortable. Hibiya had expected something snug, if ever given the chance to take Hiyori’s hand. He’d expected her fingers to interlock perfectly with his. Her clutch was surprisingly tight, clamping down on his fingers. Stubby nails tried their best to dig into his skin.

She quickly began to walk faster, tugging him along.

“C’mon. We’re going home.” She snapped. Her voice was tense, but it also seemed to have an underlying sense of unease. 

Hibiya found himself quickly following in her footsteps. He stumbled after her. She never once let go of his hand. At any other time, he would have cheered himself on for finally earning Hiyori Asahina’s hand, but the whole situation felt eerie. Her overall dread, combined with shifting opinions over the last few days, made any victories here feel rather bittersweet.

Hibiya could not say he disagreed with her eagerness to get home. In fact, that had been the way they’d already been heading, correct? Hiyori seemed almost scatterbrained in her antsiness. She walked hastily. If he listened close enough, he swore he could hear her labored breathing, too. It… Could only cause him to wonder… What on earth could cause he to be so  _ panicked? _

...Hadn’t she always liked cats?

The thought of similar nighttime trauma haunting her rose in Hibiya’s mind. After last night, it was all starting to come together. The way she’d described her dream was too uncanny. And now, this? He tried his best to deny it, mind scrambling for other explanations. She wasn’t allowed to suffer like him. That… That wasn’t an idea he was willing to face. It had to be something else. It was something else.

Finally, his voice found him. “...W...What’s wrong?” He stuttered. “What’s the rush?”

Hiyori tensed, but did not turn to face him. Her sandals slapped against the pavement. Her footssteps echoed briskly. The entire city tried to shout it’s own story; To drown his mind in it’s sound. But all he could process was the noise of her rushed stride. Thwap. Slap. Thwap. 

“...I… Just want to go home, okay?” She was dangerously on-edge.

Hibiya did not want to instigate her. Aggravating her was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He didn’t wish to provoke her. Or, even more directly, he didn’t want her to be angry at  _ him _ . What if her rage was something he could never recover from? What if she held a grudge against him, simply for stating the wrong words? Then he’d never have a chance at keeping this bond afloat.

But at the same time… He wanted answers. He was so sick of things flying over his head. He didn’t want to live in some dark cluelessness! What was he missing here? If he voiced his concerns, could things finally click into place? Or was life not that simple? What if Hiyori really was haunted by the same dreams as he? What if that was why she was terrified, and that was why she’d been so worked up last night? What if she was suffering in the same way? The idea of her going through that petrified Hibiya. But the idea of not doing anything about it petrified him even more. And, even worse, what if it wasn’t dreams? What if there was some legitimate danger here, in Hiyori’s sights, but dangling right under his nose?

“ _ Hiyori _ … You can tell me--”

Thwap. She was speeding up her pace.

“It’s nothing.” She gave his hand a decisive tug.

Slap. Her walk had almost become a sprint.

“...If something’s wrong, then you don’t need to hide it from me.” His voice came out miles more stern than he’d anticipated it to. He flinched. “...I… I’m just… Worried.” 

Thwap. A run.

“It’s nothing! I… I’m just being paranoid and dumb. A… A... “ Hiyori hesitated. “A **_big baby_ ** !”

A scramble of shoes, and then a simple thump. A violent slap of hands against the concrete. Hiyori had managed to fall in her haste.

She let go of Hibiya’s hand just in time to prevent him from tumbling down with her. He stared at her, eyes as wide as saucers. Her knees sprawled out against the ground, hands in front of her, desperately trying to protect her from the ground. Her body gave a single shudder.

Hibiya jostled to help her up, rushing to her side. He anxiously leaned down and offered his hand, worry in his tone. “A… Are you alright!? I… It seems like you took a pretty hard fall.” It had been so sudden. It had all escalated so quickly. He promptly felt guilty for demanding to know what was going on. Had he gotten her worked up enough to stumble?

She lifted her gaze from the ground, meeting his eyes. Tears just barely prickled in hers. She quivered yet again, seeming to stare through him. Something told Hibiya that the wetness in her eyes was not from her collision with the ground, but rather because of her words before it. Nonetheless, she quietly took his hand, bringing herself back to her feet, and brushing off her legs. Her legs seemed a little scraped, but she did not complain. Unlike Hibiya, she had a threshold for pain.

She did not speak. She merely continued her march. She was trying her best to blink away tears.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, desperately praying she wouldn’t take it the wrong way. More than anything, he was just searching for a way to reassure her. Suddenly she did not just seem far from ‘perfect’, but far from ‘happy’, even.

She quietly turned her head, giving him an addled look. Her lips pursed, before opening. No words came out.

“...I don’t think you’re a baby.” Hibiya admitted. “I… Think you’re cool. A really cool… Friendl.” Her brows furrowed. For a second, she seemed almost baffled by the notion as anyone seeing her as not cool. At least, until the realization dawned in her eyes, as she remembered what she’d said mere moments before. “...You can tell me what’s wrong. I don’t care if it’s stupid or paranoid.” He hesitated. “A… Lot of stupid and paranoid things have been eating at me, too.”

Hiyori’s eyes flashed with concern. She seemed bothered by things bothering Hibiya. But she did not voice her fears. Instead she quietly mumbled. “I… It’s just that cat we saw earlier.” Her shoulders tensed. “I… I know I like cats! I do! I just…” Her tone was almost defensive. Like she expected him to point that out.  “...I… I’ve just been having these dumb dreams lately. N… Nightmares, I guess.” She shook her head. Hibiya felt his blood run cold “...They’re stupid. They don’t even make any sense. They don’t matte-”

“ _ They matter. _ ” Hibiya stated matter-of-factly. “H… Hiyori… I… I…-” He searched for the right words. “I’ve been having dreams like that, too. They’re not just something to brush off. They’re...” Many words could have been used to describe them. Morbid. Gory. Terrifying. “...Bad. They’re _ bad _ .”

Hiyori had stopped in her tracks. Now she stood, very still. She seemed almost like a statue, the sun illuminating her motionless body.

“...Y...You too…?” She seemed almost doubtful, a tremble in her voice. “...I… In them… Do I…-” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence.

“...You die.” Hibiya breathlessly admitted. 

Hiyori looked like her heart had stopped in her chest. She seemed disoriented. Hibiya couldn’t blame her. She was hopelessly trying to blink away tears. Her breaths were coming out raggedly. For a moment, her actions seemed almost foreign. He’d never seen her like that before. It was almost… Scary. Hibiya quickly despised himself for thinking that way. Her panic was no different from his own. There was this idea he’d built up that she was serene and tough, apathetic to everything. But in reality? She was just a kid. And she was the one who was scared.

“...N… No… You… You…” She seemed to be having trouble getting her words out. 

“No… _ No _ .” Hibiya had trouble finding his own words. His own heart was thumping against his chest. “I… I don’t die. It’s just a… Bad dream, okay?” He tried his best to make his shaky voice reassuring. “...Really really scary. And really really creepy. But… Just a dream. I’m here. I’m… Alright.” 

Hiyori must have heard the tremble in his voice. “And… I’m alright, too. It’s… Just a cat.” She was quietly repeating herself, mumbling ‘just a cat’, under her breath. Hibiya gave her hand another squeeze. She met his eyes, tears finally cascading down her cheeks. “I… I must sound so pathetic right now.” She admitted, trying her best to hold back any hiccups or gasps. “...All of this over a dumb  _ animal _ .” The frustration and sorrow in her tone were equally measured. 

It would have been hypocritical for Hibiya to call her pitiful. Tears were brimming in his own eyes. He wished he had some way to fix this, to ease her fears. But he didn’t. He didn’t even know how to ease his own. 

“Hiyori… You don’t seem…-” He gave a long, drawn out, sigh. He tried to collect his thoughts. He brought his free hand to his temple, rubbing his fingers against the side of his head. “Listen, Hiyori. It’s not pathetic. Unless I’m pathetic. I… I feel ready to cry, too. So you’re  _ not _ pathetic. I… I know it’s just a _ damn _ cat, but it scared me out of my mind, too.” 

Hiyori was very quiet. “...You swore.” She noted.

“...So I did.” Hibiya admitted. If he looked closely enough, he swore he could detect just the slightest of smirks on Hiyori’s face. “...Listen. I… Can tell you have a lot bothering you. I… Have a lot bothering me, too.” He pointed out. “...How about we go home and… Talk some things out? I can heat us up some more hot cocoa, and we can… Try to get this all figured out.”

Hiyori gave him a quiet nod. “...T...That sounds nice.” She agreed, hesitantly returning to her walk. Hibiya followed briskly, never once letting go of her hand. She brought her hand to her cheeks, gingerly wiping away her tears. She tried to walk with a stride, ignoring the puffiness of her eyes.

Hibiya tried his best to follow in her footsteps, looking confident. Nonetheless, he found anxieties raking at his insides. He knew that the upcoming minutes would be the best time to admit some other things, too; To get them out of the way. But the concept made him nauseous. What if he made Hiyori cry again?

He wasn’t sure if he could bare to be the cause of that, yet again.

* * *

Hiyori Asahina was beginning to feel more and more like a fool with each passing day.

First there had been the embarrassment of last night, and now there was this. It made her want to curl up and die. She was Hiyori, ruler of her own world and feelings. She was not supposed to cry over cats or love or bad dreams. Yet, here she was, wallowing in her own shame.

She sat on her brother-in-law’s worn down couch, a blanket draped over her shoulders. Admittedly enough, the blanket was unwelcome, with the heat of the summer, and the air conditioning sputtering on it’s last legs. But she did not have the heart to tell Hibiya that it had been a downright stupid thing to hand to her.

He sat next to her, feet on the couch, and a mug of cocoa tightly grasped in his hands. Perhaps his solution to everything being ‘give any panicking person a mug of hot chocolate’ was growing a tad predictable, but originality had never been Hibiya’s forte. And, Hiyori could not bring herself to complain as she raised the cup to her lips. It tasted just fine.

Hot cocoa and blankets late-August. She could think of few things more ridiculous. In fact, the only thing she could think of that was more ludicrous than this was herself.

Despite her breathing having slowed, and her tears all but dried, she still felt like a wreck. Her eyes were getting that post-weep soreness, and she was certain a red puffiness surrounded them. She still felt exhausted.

Hibiya was staring her down. She anxiously brought her stare down into her cocoa, seeking to avoid his gaze. The reflection of the hazel colored liquid betrayed her worst fears. She looked as bad as she felt.

Her heart deflated. What would she do if Hibiya told anyone? It was not that she did not trust him, but rather that she’d seen how blabbermouthed he could be. If the others got word of this at home… So many people would laugh at her. She’d be turned into even more of a mockery than she already was-

No. She reminded herself. She didn’t care what they thought. She wouldn’t let herself. She tried her best to steel her resolve. She was Hiyori Asahina, and no-one could judge her. 

Hibiya seemed oblivious to her internal struggle. Instead, he spoke in a gentle voice. “...Are you feeling a bit better now?” His attempts to make his voice radiate sympathy were obvious. Though, just as obvious, underneath his tenderness, was anxiety. “...We can talk now, if you want.” He nervously twiddled his thumbs. “Only if you’re ready. Y… You don’t have to talk at all if you want to, I mean.” He gulped. “I… I mean… I’m just throwing things out there. I think it would be nice to get some things off your chest, at least.”

“I’d… Be up for that.” Hiyori’s mouth felt dry. She swallowed, trying to emanate the composure of someone who hadn’t been sobbing a half-hour or so ago. “D… Don’t really know where to start, though. My mind’s been all over the place, lately.” 

“Well… First of all, how about those… Dreams?” Hibiya paused. “Actually, before anything, can we just agree that the cat in them is a _ huge  _ jerk?”

Hiyori couldn’t bring herself to disagree, even if ‘a huge jerk’ was putting it lightly. If anything, Hibiya’s first and foremost concerns made her smile. In most situations, she never would have considered the cat the biggest problem here, over twelve year olds being mowed down by trucks. But Hibiya always had had a skewed sense of priority. 

She wiped her nose. “The biggest. A condescending piece of shit.” She found herself nodding as she spoke. “But, y’know… Hardly the scariest part of it all.”

Hibiya reddened in embarrassment. “I… I know! Sorry! I shouldn’t have brought that up first! But he’s been driving me crazy for days! I needed to make sure someone else knew how rude he was!” He whimpered, mumbling another quick “Sorry.”

Hiyori suddenly felt bad for causing him to freak out so much. He really was unnerved as all hell, wasn’t he? “...It’s fine.” She reassured. “No need to apologize.”

Hibiya’s shoulders lowered. “...I’ll try not to. I just… I’m such an anxious mess. Even moreso than usual, lately.” He gulped. “S...Sorry if that’s annoying or whatever.” He froze. “Crap! I said it again!” His apparent ability to swear had completely vanished. 

Hiyori gave a lazy shrug. “It’s fine, Hibiya.” She reassured. “D… Do you think I’ve been any better, lately?” She forced a halfhearted smile. “...Just look at me. I don’t… Even think I’m like this because of any nightmares. In a lot of ways, I just don’t think I’m as calm as people think I am.” Hiyori fell silently. Frankly, she hadn’t expected a thought like that to exit her mouth. Yet, here she was.

She almost anticipated Hibiya to instantly rebuke her claims, clamoring over her, insisting that she  _ was _ . Instead, he took another sip of his hot cocoa. “...I think that’s okay. You’re allowed to be as anxious as anyone. You’re just a kid.” Suddenly, he froze, practically choking on his drink. “N-Not in the bad way, I mean! It’s just… A fact! You are! We both are!”

“Kid or not… Isn’t acting that way just… Childish?” Hiyori hesitated. “I… I mean… Not in your case! B… But I shouldn’t act like that. I… I try to be stronger than that. I try to be calm or strong or whatever. Saying I’m just a kid? That seems… Weak.” She had the oddest feeling that she was starting to sound absurd. Her need to seem tough stemmed from such a particular pressure put on her at home. It was something Hibiya never could have understood the true weight of. Nonetheless, he’d offered to let her talk things out. And she was apparently going to talk this out, whether he liked it or not.

Hibiya firmly shook his head. “You’re not weak!” His voice found itself raised, though he quickly lowered it, looking meek. “...You’re… Cool. You’re… Passionate.” He quietly bit his lip. “Just having fears doesn’t invalidate that. Just being anxious doesn’t invalidate that. Just...-” He fell silent, staring into his mug. His eyebrows were knit, and his forehead scrunched. “Just… You’re not weak, okay?”

“...Easy for you to say.” Hibiya had every right to be biased. But if anyone at home had ever seen her like this, certainly it wouldn’t have ended well. She couldn’t let anyone know that their words got through her not-so-thick skin. “...But other people? I think they’d think I’m a really sorry excuse for a girl, right now.”

Hibiya seemed to tense. “...Like  _ who? _ ” The way he said ‘who’ aggravated Hiyori. He said it violently, as if he was going to find a way to enact revenge upon anyone who would dare think that way. It wasn’t that easy.

Hiyori suddenly regretted even bringing this up. “...No-one.” Her voice came out as a mere mutter.

“Hiyori. You can tell me--” Hibiya’s voice was gratingly on edge. “Who wo-”

“Maybe like the people at home! Maybe like the ‘Asahina Army’ or whatever their stupid name is! Maybe like the people who want me to be perfect! And maybe like the people who won’t leave me alone, and call me terrible things,  _ just because I don’t want to let them shove their dicks up my- _ ” Hiyori shuddered, forcing herself to fall silent. She felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes again. She hated that feeling. “...I… It’s not fun, okay?” 

Hibiya’s jaw hung slack. He intensely gazed at her, eyes wide, and expression concerned. He was very, very, silent. Hiyori near-instantly regretted letting her feelings spill like that. The way Hibiya looked at her, that utter horror in his eyes, made her feel sick. She knew she’d had these feelings and frustrations boiling within her for so long, and they’d been bound to reach their tipping point. But this? This did not feel relieving to get off her chest. She felt disgusting.

Finally, Hibiya spoke. His voice was barely a whisper. “...Do they really do that kind of thing to you…?”

Hiyori could not bring herself to give a coherent answer. Her head felt as if it were spinning. Instead, she gave a tiny nod, and a crestfallen “Mhhmmm…” 

Hibiya looked as if someone had punched him straight in the gut. He had broken eye contact with her, and scooted away. He was staring at his shoes, mumbling, and trying to find words. He sat as such for nearly a minute. Then, his fingers tightened around his mug, knuckles pale, and looked up at her with a surprisingly strong reserve.

“...Hiyori. I have something to tell you.” Hesitance was evident in his tone, but his words did not tremble. 

Hiyori’s lips pursed. “Wh…-” He cut her off. Or, perhaps he hadn’t heard her at all, with how quiet her voice had come out.

“This… Is really selfish for me to say.” He did not break his gaze. “But… I need to say it, or it will eat at me forever.” Hiyori’s heart was pounding in her ears. “And… I think… Telling a hurtful truth is better than living any lie.” She had a sinking feeling in her gut. “Y… You have every right to hate me for saying this. A… And even if… I don’t want you to… I… I don’t want to be a bad person, either.” She felt sick to her stomach. “S… So… I’m just going to spit it out, okay? I… I…-”

Hiyori tensed. She’d been in this situation a hundred times before. She knew the words that would come out of his mouth. And then… And then what? She wasn’t sure if she could handle it, not this time. She ripped her eyes from Hibiya, stare locking with the reflection in her drink.

“...I’m sorry.”

Ever so slowly, Hiyori looked up. Hibiya seemed on the brink of tears.

“...You’re…?” Her mouth hung open. She was having trouble processing what he meant.

“I… I said I’m  _ sorry. _ ” Hibiya gave a long, drawn-out sigh. “I… I loved you, Hiyori. B… But…-” 

Hiyori tensed, yet again. “You loved me!?”

It was Hibiya’s turn to freeze. “Loved! Past tense!” He blabbered. “Or… Well…-- _ Really _ loved.” All color seemed to drain from his face. “I’m not going to lie to you, Hiyori. I was… Really bad. I came here over the summer hoping to confess to you. And… Well… I still really like you. But I don’t want to love you anymore, in that case.” He was shivering. “B… Because… I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to hurt you like that. O… Oh my god, Hiyori-- I would  _ never. _ ” He was breathless, gasping and teary as he spoke. “I… I’m so so sorry.”

Hiyori was still. “You…-”

“...P… Please don’t hate me.” Hibiya’s voice was a whimper. “I… I don’t want to force you to love me back, or anything. I just… Thought I should tell you the truth. Because… Otherwise that would be really manipulative. A… And I don’t want to…-” He drifted off, sniffling. A few tears had begun to run down his cheeks. “...I… I just want to be your friend, okay, Hiyori? I… I’ve had so much fun this summer. I can’t even put it into words...” He moaned in between his words. “...I… I want to spend more time with you. A… And I want to hang out with you more. B… But I also want you to be comfortable. S… So this is an apology. B… Because… I’m  _ so  _ sorry I was ever like the people who treated you like that.”

Hiyori blinked. She expected feelings of anger to arise, but none reared their ugly heads. Perhaps, some fear resonated in her  Watching Hibiya, curled up on the couch, with huge tears racing down his face, she could not bring herself to hate him. He was… Genuine, about this.

“So… You love me… But you don’t love me?” Perhaps she had worded that poorly, but she’d found herself at an overall lack of words. 

Hibiya apprehensively nodded. “...I… I’ve had the biggest crush on you. But… I was your friend, first. I’ve known you longer than I’ve known ANYONE! And… Honestly? I got really hurt when we started drifting away. I don’t want to hurt you, though, especially not when we’re finally getting close again.” He whimpered. “...I don’t want you to think I’m disgusting. I want there to be a next summer.  _ I don’t want you to hate me-- _ ”

Hiyori stared at him intently, before scooting closer. “...First of all, I don’t hate you, idiot.” She gave him a rough pat on the back. “Second of all, I… Forgive you.” In the past she would have despised herself for using those words. But she was a different person now, a better person. “...I can tell you mean all of this, Hibiya. You’re crying like a baby.” Hibiya scrambled to dry his eyes with his sleeve, upon that notion. “...You even just reacting like this proves that you’re not a bad person. That you’re… Not like the people who treated me like that, Hibiya.”

Hibiya sniveled. Though, in between his tears and sniffling, a tiny smile perked at the corners of his lips. “S… So… We can keep being friends? It’s not… Weird?”

Hiyori gently hit his shoulder. “Of course not. At least, as long as you don’t make it weird.” Her gaze sharpened a little. “ _ Don’t  _ make it weird, Hibiya. Just because I said all that doesn’t mean I’ll stand for anything creepy. Don’t make moves on me. There’s still not some chance for some romantic summer dream, okay?”

Hibiya jolted. “O… Of course! Trust me, Hiyori. I know that.” He solemnly nodded. “...I’m happy with this, okay? And… If I get creepy, I give you full permission to smack me as hard as you can.”

Hiyori gave him a snide smile. “Oh, trust me, I’ll take you up on that offer.” She gently brought her palm across his face. “ _ That’s _ for everything in the past. Now let’s start over again, hm?”

Hibiya gingerly rubbed his cheek. “That’s fair…” He admitted. More than anything, he was just lucky Hiyori hadn’t smacked him with full force. Now THAT would have felt like a truck.

“...Mmmyep.” Hiyori gave him a smile. “...But, seriously, thank you for telling me, about everything. I… Feel like this would have ended a lot worse if you hadn’t.”

“No problem.” Hibiya shrugged. “Though, you probably would have found out, anyways. You know I’m the worst liar ever.” 

“Yeah, Mister India Seminar.” Hiyori jeered.

Hibiya paled. “Did you really need to bring that up!?” He sputtered. “I thought of it on a whim! And I really needed to get to the city--”

“...So you could spend time with me?”

“...Yeah. So I could spend time with you.” Hibiya didn’t even try to deny it. 

Hiyori gave him another smile. “...You know what, Hibiya? Don’t get the wrong idea about this, but I love you, too.” Despite the bewildered look on his face, Hibiya was given no chance to speak up. Hiyori continued on, her words quick, but sincere. “...Just today, I had a talk with the a few members of the Dan, and you know what? I think… I think I should be able to call this love.”

Hibiya raised an eyebrow. “...Really?” 

Hiyori silently nodded. “Really.” She was quiet for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts, before speaking aloud. “...Today, Kano tried to make fun of you, I guess. He called you a loser; Said I should ditch you. And, like, of course I stood up for you. And he pointed out… That willing to protect you, wasn’t that a kind of caring? And Ayano, she said that she loved her siblings, and that she loved all of the Dan, but not… Love-love, y’know? Obviously she didn’t  _ love _ her siblings, but she loved them.” She gave Hibiya an anxious glance. “Does that make any sense? Or am I speaking another language?”

Hibiya shook his head. “No! No! It makes sense. Go on--”

“And I think she’s right. Why do people get so caught up on some definition of love? I don’t think love should just be kissing, or sex, or whatever the people back home wanted to do to me.” Honestly? She wasn’t sure that was love at all, perhaps it was lust, but she did not voice that thought. Surely true  _ love _ -love existed, but that was the furthest thing from it. “...Like… Why  _ shouldn’t _ this be considered love? Why isn’t spending the summer with someone love? Why isn’t comforting someone from a nightmare love? Why isn’t brewing hot cocoa love? I… Don’t get why people say it isn’t. And… I’m tired of being told how I feel. So you know what, Hibiya?  _ Fuck _ what the other people say. I love you.”

Hibiya looked at her in shock. His lips began to open, but quickly closed as he found himself at a loss for words. They stayed in that silence, for nearly a whole minute, before his voice finally found him.

He smiled.

“...Yeah. Fuck what they say. Love you, too...” He hesitated. “...You know how.”

Hiyori smiled back. And at that moment, two children torn apart by the tribulations of their world, and a fast-approaching adulthood, had found a sort of peace. They had found each other, and it was not like what either of them, or the rest of the world, would have anticipated.

But it was happiness. It was safety. And it was friendship alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man I don't even know what to say. While... While I don't care too much about this fic anymore, I know it was such a passion project for a younger me, and I'm surprised I didn't upload it sooner. I'm proud of my Freshman self, hauling my ass out of class every lunch period just to sit at the school computers and type my life away. I hope I can have that sort of resolve nowadays. Sometimes I feel my younger self is a lot stronger than I am now. But you know what? They're an inspiration.
> 
> I still feel pretty intensely about Hibiya and Hiyori's friendship. And I feel a lot of the themes in this fic reflect that. It's actually not the first fic I wanted to write concerning friendship being a form of, and as equal to, love, but it's the first I actually wrote. As someone who struggles a lot with romantic stuff, and someone who considered myself Aromantic in my Freshman Year (And hey! Maybe I still am. This stuff is complicated), writing Hiyori's struggle felt like getting a lot off my chest. Of course, Hibiya's unrequited love was a trip to write, too. And I'm glad I could portray him maturing like that, since sometimes I feel Jin gives him less credit than he deserves.
> 
> Anyways. I hope you enjoyed!


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